Where evil twins and friends come together to lovingly snark Point Horror and other teen genre fiction
 

Recap #207: Teen Wolf Too (1987) by bat

20
Jan 2019

 

Teen Wolf Too (1987)Title: Teen Wolf Too (1987)

Summary: Todd Howard is a Hamilton University freshman with a full athletic scholarship: only Todd has no idea why, since he’s far more interested in veterinary medicine than sports. But his boxing coach, Bobby Finstock, is very familiar with the Howard family secret and he’s hoping he can use it to his advantage. When the whole school (including Todd) finds out that he’s a werewolf with superhuman abilities, Todd’s popularity skyrockets and he becomes the big wolf on campus. But is his fame a gift? Or a curse?

Tagline: A hair-raising comedy. (Which tells you nothing. NOTHING.)

Initial Thoughts

Happy SUPER WOLF BLOOD MOON! Holy crap, did I pick a perfect time to post this or what?? Honestly I had no idea slacking off delaying posting due to the holidays and other stresses would mean I would find myself posting a a recap about a werewolf film incidentally on the Wolf Moon (last time it was the Beaver Moon but that was fitting since Scott’s team were the Beavers) and it just happens to be a total lunar eclipse during a “super moon”, and the moon will be “blood red”. THIS CAN’T BE MORE PERFECT IF I EVEN TRIED! AND I DIDN’T TRY!

Wing and I are back again, Snarking at the Moon!, with recaps of our favorite werewolf films. You might remember I chose Teen Wolf (1985) as my first outing. Now we’ve come full circle (sorry, terrible moon puns ahoy) to my favorite sequel, Teen Wolf Too!

I’ve already noted that I had a five-second crush on Jason Bateman all because of this film. Where as Michael J. Fox’s Scott was a basketball player, Todd Howard — Scott’s cousin, how convenient, filmmakers — is good at boxing. Well, sort of. At least there will be almost zero basketball playing in this film, after I had to sit through so. much. basketball. during the first film. Never gonna get all that time back.

Boxing? BOXING! Which is a lot more fun, because people get to punch each other. Moves a lot faster then stupid sportsball games, that’s for sure.

Ignoring the fact that yet again we’re centering the movie around sports (yawn), this one has just as much (if not more) heart to the characters. Several of the original film’s characters return and grow in surprising ways; Todd, our new lead, is a lot different from Scott. Scott was concerned about high school-level priorities. Scott is a college man who wants to help animals. Both get trapped in the spotlight of popularity. Scott learned a lesson. Will Todd learn one, too? (You will have to find out by reading the recap.)

This, like many sequels, was not well received by critics or audiences upon its initial release. I’m not sure it even did well in video rentals, because if I am brutally honest, it’s not that good. But it’s cheesy, has a heart and a good message, and there’s werewolves. So let’s begin!

[Wing: I love sports movies, but I love boxing even more, so that plus werewolves has me excited. This is one of the movies I’ve never seen before, so it’s nice to check it off the list, too.]

Recap

A totally 80s graphic logo of Atlantic Releasing Corporation flashes on screen. That company died out in 1989, only two years after this film’s release. Ouch.

The shot fades up from black to a misty view of a sleepy town full of trees and houses. It was filmed in California and it has that vibe, but I’m not sure it really translates to viewers not familiar. Oh well. The giant mountains in the background are decidedly California. YET. This is supposed to be Colorado (??) because all the cars have Colorado plates. The camera pans left to reveal a large bell tower and more trees. Everything is quiet and peaceful in this sleepy college town.

[Wing: This is such a delightfully cheesy werewolf movie setup. I love it. LOVE IT.]

A wolf howls as the image fades into another, this time a large arch (I’m pretty sure it’s the base of the bell tower) and the movie title’s logo appears. A female voice begins to sing “Oh, Hamilton”, the college’s song, as college students fade into view. I guess this is supposed to set our scene, since duh, it’s a college and not high school this time.

The credits roll as we watch students talking in small groups and hanging out in the green space of the quad. The female singer is joined by the rest of the choir, singing the simple lyrics about how every alumni will always remember Hamilton fondly. Yay.

Take this montage as a “FASHION OF THE LATE 80S: A RETROSPECTIVE”, younger viewers. You can see the early 1990s creeping in if you look real close… All that acid washed denim and colorful sweaters…

(Timothy Kring, the screenwriter, would eventually go on to create and write television series Crossing Jordan and Heroes, so he got better.)

Ironically, one of the campus buildings looks like the clock tower building from Back to the Future, so that’s a neat probably not on purpose shout out to Michael J. Fox. Man, this montage of idyllic campus life goes on forever. I would kill for some basketball footage at this point.

FINALLY. The camera zooms in on a pair of students who move up the concrete steps, a sign that reads DEAN DUNN, DEAN OF MEN, off to their right. We’re getting somewhere! Seriously, that wasn’t a very long intro but in recap terms, it took forever.

We fade into a large, imposing office that’s filled with hardwood furniture and Oriental rugs, brass fixtures, etc etc. We see two large leather chairs from behind, a grey-haired man siting at the large desk the chairs face. The top of two heads are just barely visible above the backs of the chairs…

…one of the occupants is snarling.

A very large black and tan Rottweiler is sitting in one chair, a dark-haired man in a green sport coat in the other. The man is wisely not making eye-contact with the dog, who barks and growls at him.

The grey-haired man smiles as he says, “He honestly does not seem to like you, Finstock.” Yes, it’s coach Finstock, back for round two. Somehow, some way, he has moved from coaching high school basketball to university boxing. (Actor Paul Sand also replaced Jay Tarses in the role, but really, he was totally able to keep the same characteristics of the character.)

[Wing: I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY. Just make the coach here friends with old coach Finstock, because that movie makes ZERO FUCKING SENSE.]

Dean Dunn (who is the ever incomparable John Astin) goes on to explain that the Rottweiler loves him because he is the dog’s master and will protect him, just like Dean Dunn protects the students of Hamilton University.

The first hint of terrible comedy is when Dean Dunn yells “Sit!” and both the Rottweiler and coach Finstock sit back in their respective chairs. Ha ha ha. I didn’t say this movie was good; I only said I loved it.

To speed this up a bit, Finstock is in the dean’s office because regional boxing finals are in three months and so far the boxing team hasn’t done shit in the way of anything. The dean’s promise to the alumni to give them a winning boxing team (do alumni care? I mean I guess they do but I would think football > boxing) has not happened and all coach Finstock has to show for it is “this, this Todd Howard.”

Apparently all Todd did on a playing field was to march in the school band, playing clarinet. Wah wah.

[Wing: Todd and I have bonded over this, clearly. (Clarinet two years marching, color guard four [two high school, two college].)]

The camera shows us Todd’s registration transcript for “Logan Community College”, complete with photo of him in red school marching band uniform (born 11/13/69, starting at Hamilton University in Fall 1987) and from the looks of Todd’s registered for the following classes: Girls Volleyball (?), Cannoli Making (??), French For Chefs (?), and Beginners Fencing (???) Huh. What a wide range there, Todd.

[Wing: Okay, I would really like to go to Hamilton. Also, a community college has a marching band? I’m surprised.]

“Oh I know him!” Coach Finstock apparently is surprised at Todd’s admission to the university. “His cousin Scott played basketball for me down at Beacon Town High.”

Dean Dunn is nay impressed. In fact, he’s pretty pissed off, because he gave Todd a full scholarship to Hamilton based on Finstock’s recommendation. “That’s great!” Finstock cries, completely oblivious to what this means for the dean, let alone his own job.

Basically Dean Dunn gave Todd a full ride based on the fact that Finstock apparently knew him, instead of finding out if the kid had any athletic talents. Great job. Dean Dunn tears into Finstock, telling him the coach’s job (as well as the dean’s standing / prestige in the school) are riding on this boxing team doing well, if not entirely winning the season. The Rottweiler barks repeatedly as if the sound is punctuation and emphasis. Uh oh. Finstock’s in trouble.

Smash cut to outside. A tall, dark haired 20-something in a grey sport coat, huge glasses, and blue jeans is inquiring directions from two women. A horn keeps honking, followed by a familiar voice yelling, “Todd! Todd!”

Enter Jason Bateman as Todd. Yes, believe it or not, this was his first feature film role. It shows. Dude was a pro on television by this point but movies are different creatures. Anyway. Todd walks over to the tank van that is blocking traffic where dear, lovable, Harold Howard is waiting for his nephew. I love you, Harold!

The two are totally lost finding their way to Todd’s dorm. Harold just drives, chatting to Todd about knowing how nervous he is on his first day of college. The giant palm tree is a dead giveaway that this is California and not Colorado.

Harold intones that the stress of moving away to college can happen to anyone, even those that don’t have the particular worries of the Howard family. Todd asks, “What worry?” as the van pulls to a stop for a crosswalk, Harold immediately shifts into werewolf form, giving the women in the crosswalk something to talk about.

“I hate it when you do that!” Todd yells at his uncle, who laughs and grins as he drives along, everyone on the street and sidewalks staring and commenting. Honestly, in terms of world-building, I love that werewolves aren’t feared here, and are even a source of awe. Sure, in the prior film, people were known to hate werewolves but for the most part everyone accepted the supernatural nature of the main character and his father as a source of awesome. Man, I want to play in this world.

[Wing: I have moons and hearts in my eyes over this world.]

“I’m not ashamed of who, or what, I am and you shouldn’t be either!” Harold reminds his nephew. Todd insists that the werewolf nature skipped his family (are you so sure, Todd?) and lists off that he has enough problems (starting a new college, living away from home for the first time, fitting in and making new friends) that worrying about a supernatural nature is just not on the cards.

As they drive past Dean Dunn and his Rottweiler, the dog goes wild, barking up a storm as the dean stares at uncle Harold. Harold admits to Todd that yes, Todd’s parents aren’t weres and sometimes it skips members of a family, but to keep his possibilities open. Like, I wanna know if Harold knows or senses… because shouldn’t he? He sort of knew with Scott, or at least figured it out. Wouldn’t the same be true of Todd, if Todd is a werewolf? (SPOILER: duh, he is, it’s all over the box art. Way to keep that a surprise, filmmakers.)

Todd asks Harold to change back before they reach the dorm, which he does. Aw. Uncle Harold, you’re still the best.

As they are about to pull into an open parking spot, a silver grey Pontiac Trans Am zooms in, tires squealing, and steals the spot! Hello introduction to “the big bad” of the film. Technically there’s two big bads — Dean Dunn being the literal man of authority — but on a personal level, there’s Steve “Gus” Gustavson.

I’m ahead of myself. Said Trans Am has vanity plates from the state of Colorado that read “Nok Out”. [Wing: NO.] As Todd gets out to confront the occupants of the Trans Am, out of the passenger side steps Lisa, in her tight, strapless, denim dress. I’m not making this up, this is a thing that was popular in fashion at one time.

She pulls down her sunglasses as Todd tries to tell her that he and Harold had already indicated the parking spot was theirs, and with a bit of a Southern lilt says, “Are you talkin’ to me?”

“Uh, no. I’d like to,” Todd stammers, sucking in his gut and fidgeting. It’s adorable when Jason Bateman does it. Over in the driver’s seat, Steve “Gus” Gustavson exits the car, all leather jacket, shiny leather shoes (I guess they’re boots, they’re shiny with what looks like Cuban heels) and tight jeans, with a macho fluffy haircut and mirror shades. Uh oh. Run, Todd!

A curly-haired redhead pops out of the Trans Am, saying, “Gus, he says this is his space.” Meet Emily; she and Lisa are basically inseparable. “A freshman,” Lisa adds. Gus comes to a stop, standing between Emily and Lisa, leaning against the door of the Trans Am, giving Todd a cold stare as Todd stammers his way out of not getting his face punched in.

“I brought my uncle by to see your space, since it’s such a nice one.” Todd awkwardly makes his way backwards, giving up without a fight. He escapes back to the van, where Harold announces, “They seem like nice kids!”

We’ve finally reached the dorms!! Todd wheels his bicycle in, as other college students pass by, as he searches for his room. Reaching room #168, he knocks and the door opens inward…

…to reveal Stiles 2.0! Yes, I should state now that only two of the cast members from the first film returned for the second. James Hampton (uncle Harold) is one; the other will pop up shortly, so I’ll leave that a mystery. Stuart Fratkin replaced Jerry Levine as Stiles. Let’s just say the character was VASTLY TONED DOWN for this installment. He’s still a get-rich-quick schemer but he’s not as abrasive and off-putting as the first version. He’s honestly closer to the MTV version in many ways; since I watched the films out of order when I originally saw them, let’s just say, I was super shocked at Stiles 1.0 after enjoying Stiles 2.0. Stiles 3.0 is my favorite, though.

[Wing: Oh dear, if Stiles 3.0 is the MTV version, we have reached our first major point of contention. I’ve only seen a bit of the tv show, but Stiles was my least favourite part.]

ANYWAY. Stiles asks, “Todd?” to a very confused Todd, who slowly follows Stiles into a dorm room that is filled with junk, clothing, and other random nonsense. Todd has zero idea of who this dude is, until Stiles introduces himself and announces they’re roommates.

Harold shows up, carrying boxes stacked so he cannot see, and immediately is very shocked to realize that his son’s best friend is A) in college and B) was actually accepted by any college. Stiles admits he’s “got connections, a daughter of somebody important.”

In front of Harold, Stiles tells Todd he’s reached the big time, college, where he’s his own man and no one tells him to clean his room or what to do. Which is evidenced by the hoarder appearance of the “self decorating” Stiles has done to the dorm. There’s enough blatant product placement in the shot that it explains everything.

Stiles takes the boxes from Harold and just tosses them to the side. Harold looks unamused but is too polite to say anything. He asks Todd to walk him back to the van, as he needs to be getting back to Beacon Town.

Before they leave, Stiles announces he’s taken care of everything and mapped out Todd’s classes for him. RUN, TODD, RUN.

Looking for something to wipe the goo he unfortunately stuck his finger in, Todd discovers one of the original Teen Wolf shirts from the first film in Stiles’ pile of clothing. Look, this really is a sequel!

Outside, walking Harold to the van, Todd reassures his uncle that once his science classes start, he’ll really enjoy college. Harold is concerned about the athletic scholarship, that Todd has zero athletic ability, and that they will yank it because no one gets something for nothing. He’s also concerned because he promised Todd’s parents he’d look after his nephew and the last thing he expected was to see Stiles. “He knows all about us,” he warns Todd.

“Since I don’t have the family problem, there’s nothing to worry about,” Todd replies. Harold doesn’t argue, just slips a few bills from the roll in his pocket and stuffs them in Todd’s bag of groceries. He makes Todd promise to call if he needs anything.

With that, Harold drives off, waving a furry hand out the window.

Back in the dorm. A very large figure in a full foil lame — aka a fencing costume — jumps out onto the landing of the hall’s staircase. With… okay I can’t tell if that’s a foil, an épée, or a sabre but who cares, it’s a fencing sword being misused for comedy… anyway, sword’s out and pointed at Todd, who has returned with his sack of groceries.

Two guys moving a small table flee the scene, leaving the table to be kicked over by the aggressive swordsman, who is shouting and making pseudo-French-sounding noises. Another student steps in the hall and is forced to use a stack of books and papers to fend the guy off.

Rounding on Todd, the tip of the sword is stabbed into the paper bag of groceries, where a stream of liquid spews forth. The protective mask goes up and — guess who — it’s Chubby! Yep, Mark Holton came back to reprise his role as the “token fat friend”.

Sticking a gloved finger into the streaming liquid, Chubby apologizes to Todd before declaring, “Chocolate milk!” He gives Todd an apologetic look before plugging his finger into the hole and escorting Todd into his dorm room.

Where Stiles is “tanning” under a light bulb, using a Monopoly board wrapped in tin foil to gather the rays. He doesn’t even look up, just introduces the two. “Chubby played basketball at Beacon Town,” Stiles informs Todd. “Oh you knew my cousin-”  “Scott!” Chubby cries.

“We just love the Howard family!” Stiles smiles.

Todd asks Stiles where all his belongings are, only to find that Stiles has crammed them into a closet, which immediately (upon opening) spews them onto the floor in a waterfall. I told you to run, Todd, but you didn’t listen.

(Todd manages to find his sherpa-lined denim jacket, which is responsible for my love of any hot dude in on of those, damn it.)

“What did you mean when you told my uncle you’d taken care of my classes?” Todd asks Stiles. He doesn’t like Stiles’ answer. Ignoring what Todd had per-registered for, Stiles “fixed” Todd up with amazing classes like “Girls Volleyball” and “Candle Making”.

There isn’t a single science class on the list, which confuses Stiles. “You don’t understand,” Todd bemoans, ripping his tie off and leaving the dorm room. Stiles seems unfazed. “That boy has ‘werewolf’ written all over him!” Of course Stiles intends to use Todd’s supernatural nature to rule the school, er college.

We switch to Todd running to the Registrar’s office, where a nerdy fellow is whining about changing his classes. An older woman, the battle axe type who hates whiners and always says no, runs the office. (Played by the late Kathleen Freeman, who you might remember as Mother Superior aka the Penguin in The Blues Brothers, among many many MANY other amazing roles.)

Todd is sweating and upset, pushing his way through the line up of students. Meaning, the admissions lady is telling the whiny nerd that “No one ever changes their classes. The first nerd gives up when a second steps up to the desk. Without a word he puts a schedule change on the desk. Admissions lady stares him down until he leaves.

Stepping up to the desk, Todd stammers a bit, until the woman eggs him on. “I haven’t got all day.” She complains.

That’s when Todd’s eyes turn bright blood red and glow and his voice drops down into a demonic bass. “I’d like to some classes,” he says, as his forehead throbs most violently.

Never breaking eye contact, staring at this most unusual physical change, the woman signs the form, and instructs Todd to have the professor sign the form and bring it back. “But not to me!”

The other students in line are staring in fear and awe at Todd, who just states it’s not as tough as it looks before sauntering out the door.

SMASH CUT to a science classroom full of taxidermy and other collections of specimens and cabinets full of skulls. Todd looks around as a woman with very long dark hair enters. Todd asks her if she knows where Professor Brooks is.

This dissolves into said dark-haired woman giving him a hard time by scientifically classifying the professor, who shows up carrying a taxidermy weasel. Professor Brooks (who I know Wing is going to love) is a slight, older woman with short spiky hair. [Wing: I DO LOVE HER.] Todd walks over and Professor Tanya Brooks immediately introduces herself and smiles at Todd.

After he introduces himself, Professor Brooks is all, “Howard. Yes.” (Seems someone else has heard of the Howard family…) She admits she knows all about him, clarifying that she is his faculty advisor. Brooks is super surprised at the athletic scholarship, particularly because of Todd’s interest in sciences.

Todd tells her he wants to become a veterinarian and needs her class, and Brooks is super “YES YES YES!”, immediately signing the form and allowing Todd into the class. Todd is super excited and grateful. Dark-haired girl, who has been watching Todd this whole time under the guise of using a microscope, is just as distracted by how fucking hot Todd is in that damn jean jacket as I am.

Stopping by the work table to ask her what she’s doing (looking for some kind of protozoa) I’m pretty sure both dark-haired girl and I just swooned when Todd pulled out those big over-sized glasses and peers into the box of slides. DAMN IT.

They share another moment when he turns the microscope on for her. And this where I’m pretty sure Wing is going to have a total crush on dark-haired girl. Like, literally, these three are so adorable and so well-written in their interactions, it’s impossible not to like them. [Wing: bat knows me far too well, because I totally do. I’m true to my crush types, obviously.]

We move to Todd in a hallway, looking into a trophy case, when an office door opens and out walks Finstock. “Are you a coach?” Todd asks, chasing after him. “There’s nothing to talk about; you’re Todd Howard.” Finstock informs him.

He goes on to make it clear to Todd that everything is dependent upon him. Then tells a dumb, rambling story that has no point, ending, or impact upon this film’s story line. Todd follows Finstock to his office, where he discovers a photo of Scott, in werewolf form, playing basketball. Uh oh.

“Now I get it!” Todd declares, telling Finstock he is not Scott and cannot do what Scott did, that he is not “like” him aka a werewolf. (Um, pretty sure humans don’t get glowing red eyes and pulsing foreheads, Todd.) “So that’s why they gave me the scholarship!” Todd huffs.

Finstock tells him to show up for practice. “For what?” “Boxing!”

Okay, how did Todd not know he got a scholarship for boxing??

[Wing: I know this is an even cheesier sequel to an already cheesy werewolf movie (and I mean that in the very best way), but oh my god, I need at least a little freaking logic! Come the fuck on.]

We smash cut to a gym where various dudes are warming up or working out on pieces of equipment. Guess who else is on the boxing team? Chubby. Duh.

As Chubby and Todd spar in the ring, Todd confesses he’s trying to make it look like he knows what he’s doing, which he does not, all in the name of keeping the scholarship.

This will go well.

Coach Finstock, who is reading a copy of Boys’ Life magazine (does anyone remember that magazine?) [Wing: It’s still being published!] which has a feature article that is entitled “Make Room For the Wolf”, is confused when something starts licking his sock-covered feet.

It’s Dean Dunn and his Rottweiler, come to see this Todd Howard. Just as Finstock calls for Todd, Chubby slams a right jab into the back of Todd’s head, sending him reeling to the mat. “I guess he’s a little rusty,” Finstock shrugs at Dean Dunn.

Heading over to the ring, Dean Dunn squirts water all over Todd, before the Rottweiler gets right up in Todd’s face. “If this is some kind of joke, you’ll notice I’m not laughing!” Dean Dunn angrily declares.

Something tells me this just isn’t going well for Todd.

SMASH CUT over to a big old library with wood paneling and long tables and it’s all very studious looking. Dark-haired girl is crouched down, going through books shelved on a squat shelf and, low and behold, Todd is on the other side of the shelves, doing the same.

Crap, this would be called a “meet cute” now, wouldn’t it.

Suddenly they both grab for the same book and try yanking it away from the other. [Wing: Why are books accessible from both sides of the shelf? That is wasted space. There could be an entire set of books on one side and an entire different set of books on the other.] Oops. Neither seem pleased to see the other. Todd says he has dibs; dark-haired girl counters, “Possession is nine tenths of the law.”

They argue about the book, dark-haired girl insulting Todd by saying the book is “probably over his head” (ouch) and then it comes out that she thinks Todd is a jock. Wow.

Todd goes off on dark-haired girl, unloading all his problems and issues with being at a college that took him on for a sports scholarship when he has zero business boxing. He rants about coach Finstock, Stiles, and Chubby,  with a dash of Dean Dunn’s Rottweiler. The cherry on top is dark-haired girl taking the only book in the library that Todd wants.

By now Todd is yelling, which garners the attention of the librarian and other students, who try to shush him. Instead of calming down, Todd loses it, piling several books into the dark-haired girl’s arms, before throwing a book on the table where the other dude who tried to shush him sits.

You can see where this is headed.

Todd stares down the other guy, his eyes that creepy, glowing bright red color once more. Dude backs down but gives a look at the librarian, who comes over just as Todd grabs his gear and leaves. That went well!

Dark-haired girl grabs her backpack and takes the book, finding Todd sitting outside on the stairs. She taps him on the shoulder, asks if he’s okay, then hands over the book, saying “I think you want this a little more than I do.”

SHE IS NOT AFRAID OR FREAKED OUT BY TODD’S GLOWING EYES. (God, I love this world.)

Todd apologizes for getting carried away. Instead of brushing it off or accepting it, dark-haired girl says, “I guess you did.” She smiles and walks away. GO, TODD, GO!

Sure enough, he runs after her. Todd tries to make small talk, having to walk fast to keep up with dark-haired girl, who says not a word. He even tries to tell her that he won’t need the book, because he was a science fair champion of the tri-county area. Then he lays it on: “My area of research is in crustacean reproduction.”

“How exciting.” The dark-haired girl is smirking.

Apparently this works like a charm, because we smash cut to a very large pipe organ but really it’s a chamber music recital. Dark-haired girl and Todd share some casual glances before laughing. I guess they’re friends now!

Leaving the recital, dark-haired girl inquires about Todd’s class schedule. He says it’s better, before asking NIKKI (finally, her name gets spoken!) well, Todd never actually gets the words out. Nikki suddenly says she would love to but she’s busy Friday, Saturday is better. Turns out Todd was actually asking her to be his lab partner. WAY TO BLOW IT, TODD.

[Wing: Oh, Todd, you ridiculous guy you.]

Nicki figures it out and instead of Todd screwing it up worse, he seems surprised she would go out with him and says maybe they can.

Before that can happen, we’re treated to watching Lisa fill out one of those “Hello, my name is:” name tags with Todd’s name. He leans in for her to stick it to his blazer; she does so, upside down. He says hello, she says bye.

Yes, it’s time for the Hamilton Alumni Scholarship Tea and Reception, which of course Todd has to attend, because he’s got a damn boxing scholarship.

Dean Dunn is spying on him from behind a column. This will go well.

People are siting at tables and drinking tea, some are dancing, some part of the school band is in attendance. Guess who else is there? Nikki! Todd hones in on her, she brings up earlier, he says not to worry about it.

Here’s something I’ve never noticed in multiple viewings: Nikki’s name tag reads Nicholaus Butler. Nikki is written below. Huh. That’s interesting?

Nikki fixes his name tag, sticking it on right side up. Already taking care of Todd. He asks her to dance but is caught (literally) by Dean Dunn, who inquires about Todd’s left hook. Todd is surprised and suddenly has to remember his right from his left. [Wing: Hold your hands in front of you, palms down. The left makes an “L” dear boy.]

Dean Dunn introduces Todd to Mrs Sinclair, who is a significant benefactress of the university. He then goes on to introduce Lisa and Emily, formally, to Todd. Nikki is visibly uncomfortable, as she is dressed modestly in a horrible suit jacket dress with a massively oversized lace overlay. (Hideous.) Lisa and Emily are wearing strapless, tight, cocktail dresses and have their hair done up in late 80s fashionable styles.

Demanding Lisa dance with Todd, they have no choice and move away to the dance floor, leaving Nikki awkwardly behind with Dean Dunn, Mrs Sinclair, and Emily. Emily looks amused but Dean Dunn asks what she’s smiling at, she’s next. Wah wah.

Todd asks Lisa about Gus; she says she may have to dance with Todd but she doesn’t have to talk to him. Meow. On to the dance floor they circle. Chubby, who is playing the tuba, watches from the bandstand.

Of course Stiles is there, too. He’s serving canapés and even gets in a little dance step or two next to Todd and Lisa. Todd dips Lisa and a purr/growl escapes him. Uh oh.

Nikki watches this from the punch bowl, looking displeased. They make their way over to her, Lisa giving Nikki a sneer of disapproval, as Todd just looks awkward, his hands all over Lisa. Nikki storms off. This is going well!

Todd watches Nikki leave but Lisa pulls him close, shoving her breasts against his chest, which of course the camera closes in on for a shot of cleavage. This is such an 80s movie trope. Todd is grinning like a fucking fool and sweating to death.

Nikki glances back before she totally leaves. Good, girl, you won’t have to witnesses the chaos that is coming.

Moving back to Todd, the camera pans down to show Todd’s hand on Lisa’s waist. Uh oh, buddy, you popped your talons. As his hand slides down and gives Lisa’s backside a squeeze, she calls him on it. Moving his hand up to play with blonde hair, that’s when Todd finally sees his finger nails are no longer human nails.

Shaking his hand, Todd realizes they’re not coming off. So time to hide his hand! Into the pocket it goes. Weirdly, his other hand is normal. Hm. Lisa mentions Todd sure does sweat a lot, as he leads her quite quickly across the length of the dance floor. Even though the audience is at a distance, it’s quite clear that Todd’s ears are growing very pointy.

“Shut up and dance,” Todd tells Lisa in a wavering voice.

The background music has developed a discordant note. Pretty sure that’s a sign of trouble. Even Chubby notes Todd’s awkwardness, though Stiles is busy offering Dean Dunn canapés. Todd catches his reflection in a glass frame. His forehead is bulging and his ears are changing and my god he is soaked with sweat.

Skittering back across the dance floor, the couple ends up in front of Chubby, who watches Todd start changing even faster. Good old practical effects give us Todd’s ears growing more dog-like and fangs appearing in his mouth. Chubby stops playing and Stiles moves in to observe as Todd catches his changing reflection in the brass tuba.

“Oh no! Oh my god!” Todd wails, grabbing the tuba and watching himself turn into a werewolf. We see his furry hand first, then a very distorted reflection of his transformed face before he turns around. Lisa lets out a started scream.

“Oh my… you’re a dog! I’ve been dancing with a dog!” She states the obvious. Well, werewolf.

Stiles is of course elated at this new Teen Wolf he can exploit. Panicking, Todd shoves Chubby away, who starts a chain reaction until a woman smashes into a table, which sends a large bowl of salad flying until it crashes down on Lisa’s head and fills up her cleavage. Emily watches in silent amusement. Todd manages to bust open the exit and flee.

Booking it back to the dorm room, with Stiles somehow hot on his heels, Todd rips a bikini poster off the mirror housed in the closet door and examines himself. Of course he’s back to human state but the sudden transformation has him upset. “I just had a beard all over my body!” he yells at Stiles. It seems the most egregious part was being called a ‘dog’ by Lisa. Dude…

Stiles says he may be able to help Todd keep his scholarship if Todd promises to be the school mascot. I didn’t say the humor in this film is any good.

But, if Stiles is to be believed, all Todd has to do is “be the Wolf” and he’ll handle the rest. The whole school will be talking about him. Hm, a retread of the original film, for sure. Todd grabs Stiles by the shoulders and presses him into the wall. “Wonderful!” Bateman sure has the sarcasm down much better than Fox did.

[Wing: I’m just left wondering why it’s taken him so long to shift for the first time.]

We SMASH CUT to a history class. The professor is talking about the death of Abraham Lincoln in dramatic detail. The students, while some are paying attention, others aren’t. In fact, one pulls out a petri dish full of fleas and shows it to another. It gets passed four rows down until someone hands it to Lisa, who immediately knows whom it is intended for.

She directs Emily to distract Todd as she opens the petri dish and slides it under the chair to sit at Todd’s ankle, allowing easy access up the leg of his jeans. Nikki, who happens to be sitting next to Emily, watches her tap Todd on the shoulder and wriggle her fingers at him, saying ‘Hi’. Of course, now that the fleas are placed, Lisa can’t help but giggle, loudly, drawing Nikki’s attention even more.

The fleas almost immediately start biting Todd, who bounces around in his chair, itching and scratching his leg and thigh through those terrible acid/stone washed jeans he’s sporting. Lisa and Emily are full out laughing now. Todd is up and out of his seat, scratching and pulling on his pants as the fleas ascend towards his ass.

The professor stops, asks him where he’s going but Todd doesn’t answer. We smash cut to him struggling down the stairs, the fleas really biting, before he rounds the corner and practically smashes into the snarling mug of Dean Dunn’s Rottweiler.

Dean Dunn is there, too, wanting to speak to Todd about his disruptive behavior at the reception. Dunn tears into him, Todd itching all the while, warning Todd that he hates jokes and anything funny. He honestly believes that Todd was wearing a dog costume as a joke. Hm. I guess this dude hasn’t been informed werewolves exist.

He warns Todd that he has no idea who he’s dealing with. The Rottweiler begins to bark and snap at Todd, who’s scratching the hell out of his thigh. Dean Dunn continues on that the first match is coming up and if Todd fails, Dunn will call every dean at every school and Todd will “never go to college, anywhere, ever!”

Todd manages to escape without a word. Dean Dunn slaps at his blazer, noting that Todd is a “strange boy.”

SMASH CUT to another day. Different clothing for Todd. He’s walking down the hall of his dorm, where another student nearly bumps into him before stepping away quickly and giving him a dirty look. Another wonders aloud during a phone call on the payphone if he comes into contact with Todd, will he too turn into a dog?

Someone else has placed a NO DOGS ALLOWED sign and a bowl of dog food outside Todd’s dorm room. Man. How blatantly mean. Not only do they mislabel him (he’s a werewolf, not a dog) but they place stupid signs and leave out dog food.

[Wing: So much for that werewolf-accepting world. *sigh*]

Things go even worse when we smash cut to Professor Brooks’ classroom. Todd is about to give his presentation but when he opens his Peechee folder, someone has taped cute dog photos over the presentation. Everyone but Nikki and Professor Brooks laughs. Professor Brooks dismisses the class, telling Todd she wants to see him.

Nikki gathers her books and blurts out an invitation to lunch to Todd. “You don’t want to be seen with me,” he counters. “I’m a dog.” She persists but he gets upset, stating he has to see the professor. Nikki leaves.

Professor Brooks wants to help, telling Todd no matter how people treat him, he shouldn’t lose sight of his goals. He is talented in science and is a smart guy, so he can find a way to deal with his other “problems”.

Of course, this is the 80s, so Todd is sullen and angry and tells Professor Brooks “if you only knew” and for a moment Professor Brooks seems like she’s about to say something but doesn’t.

“I’ll do my very best to try and understand,” she replies after a pause. Todd walks off, leaving Professor Brooks looking quite upset. Hmmmmmmmm.

Outside, Nikki rides up on an ancient racing bike (ha ha ha man I feel old) and finds Todd sitting under a tree. She pulls out a huge blanket and a pack filled with food, asking if he likes chicken. Todd is nonplussed, not open to her being so persistently friendly when the rest of the school wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with him.

Oh look, more product placement! When KFC was actually still called Kentucky Fried Chicken! Now a couple of cans of 7Up! She hands Todd a drumstick and explains that biologically, his werewolf change is fascinating (agreed!) and she’s not going to feel sorry for him.

[Wing: I love Nikki so, so much.]

“You’ll be okay!” She tells him before she leans in and they kiss. Aw. (Seriously, I am totally Nikki. If I wanted to date a supernatural creature, I would find it all so fucking fascinating and not be remotely disgusted or freaked out. I’m pretty sure the character of Nikki totally influenced me as a child.) Todd can’t help but smile after they kiss. Things might be okay after all!

IT’S THE FIRST BOXING MATCH OF THE SEASON! [Wing: But weren’t they just worried about some sort of quarterfinals or something and how the boxing team has done nothing good so far? …COME ON, MOVIE.] The bell rings and the opponents come from their corners. I think they’re battling the Air Force Academy? Maybe it’s military? I dunno. Half the crowd is in uniforms, Stiles whispers something in a woman’s ear and gets slapped, and coach Finstock is flossing his teeth. Great.

The Hamilton boxers watch in horror as their teammate gets TKO’d. Uh oh. So far the score is 3-0. Finstock sends Chubby in, even though the next bout is not his weight class. Of course the Academy coach objects, saying Chubby outweighs his boxer by 50lbs; Finstock counters that it’s “water weight”. Ugh. [Wing: This would not be allowed to happen!]

Into the ring they go. As soon as the bell dings, Chubby picks up his opponent, slings him over his shoulder, and turns a bunch of circles. Boos come from the audience while the ref tells Chubby to put the guy down. [Wing: Chubby, you are not starring in Cursed right now, my dude.]

They try again but this time as the opponent starts to throw punches, Chubby tackles him round the waist and pushes him into the ropes. This is not boxing, people. The boxing scene in Popeye (1980) had more actual boxing then this.

The Academy boxer lands a single punch that knocks Chubby into the ropes. Yelling, Chubby slams the dude across the ring, bouncing him off the ropes, before Chubby raises one arm and the guy runs into his fist, so I guess learning fencing helped? The Academy guy is down and Hamilton is finally on the board with a single point.

The rest of the team helps get a pretty dazed and confused Chubby out of the ring — even he is surprised he won — and the Academy coach informs Finstock that’s the last match they will win. Finstock seemingly agrees. Dude, quit with the flossing. Yuck.

Next match! Opponent Gus, who’s padded helmet is being checked personally by the coach, is wearing his asshole aviator sunglasses. Ugh. He makes eye contact with Todd, who immediately becomes nervous at being stared down by the obvious star of the opposing team.

But it’s not Todd that Gus is fighting! Nope, it’s some other member of the Hamilton team, who might know how to actually box. The opponents square off, the bell rings, and Hamilton manages to get a couple of weak ass punches in.

This means zero, as shortly enough, Gus lands one punch and sends the Hamilton boxer reeling back into the ropes. Dude tries to run but ends up trapped in the corner, crouched down with his gloves up, as Gus punches the crap out of him. Only six punches and the Hamilton guy collapses like a house of cards.

Of course, Gus is fucking aggressive and trying to smash him more, with the ref struggling to hold him back. Chubby and Todd look terrified. The bell rings and Finstock yells, “Next!” Which, you guessed it, is Todd.

Stiles rushes up and says there’s no reason to worry, there’s a good hospital on campus! Gus has been replaced by the next boxer for the Academy, a dude with a big gap in his teeth. He’s also a macho asshole like Gus. Dude leans over the ropes and tells Todd “Let’s get this over with, I’ve got a date in a half an hour!” Chubby just gives Todd a thumbs up as he makes his way towards the ring.

Dean Dunn wanders in to watch the match. He catches Finstock working a Rubik’s cube. “This makes or breaks your career!” This will go well.

In the ring, the boxers meet and touch gloves. Academy boxer informs Todd he’s “going to die”. “I know,” Todd replies. THAT’S THE SPIRIT.

The bell rings. Academy comes out swinging but Todd dodges, moving fast enough to stay out of reach, before another swing that he ducks, crawling between his opponent’s legs. Academy threatens to break Todd’s kneecaps and lands a few punches to Todd’s upper arms before Todd dodges again and again.

This is just as boring as the basketball scenes. I swear. I hate trying to recap them.

FINALLY. Academy boxer lands three solid punches, to Todd’s stomach and head, before a fourth sends Todd reeling through the air, knocking his mouth guard free. Uh oh. We watch him hit the mat, hard, spit flying everywhere. Ew.

It seems like Todd is suffered a TKO.

The Academy team and supporters cheer, Dunn informs Finstock his career is over, and Gus becomes a total spaz about his teammate taking down Todd. The ref begins the count down as Todd struggles to get up.

While his teammates yell for him to get up, we see Todd’s eyes turn glowing red. UH OH. Snarling noises fill the air. HM. Just as the ref calls ‘Three!” the camera turns to Stiles, as everything goes into slow motion…

Even Gus removing his shades to stare at the struggling Todd is in slow motion, wtf…

Dean Dunn turns around, just as he’s nearing the doors, to watch as the ref is staring in shocked surprise as a roar fills the gym and Todd leaps up, impossibly high into the air, and lands, fully transformed into a werewolf.

“Holy shit!” Someone yells.

Stiles and Chubby immediately yell in happiness. To be fair, they have witnessed this before, so they know what’s happening. Everyone else is confused. Todd flexes and growls, his opponent is very WTH, and the ref asks the coaches if they want to stop the fight. Academy coach just stares at Finstock, who replies, “HELL NO! Go on!”

The crowd is now super excited, to the point that Dean Dunn (looking perplexed) walks back over to see what the fuck just happened.

As it did with Scott, turning into a werewolf gives you immediate talents and abilities and makes you a perfect sportsman. Todd is snarling and making faces and dancing around and throwing punches perfectly, instantly. This injects a whole new sense of pride into his teammates, who are on their feet, cheering him on.

In fact the whole crowd is now yelling, “Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!”

[Wing: He was a loser dog to you all like 30 seconds ago. Oh, fickle, fleeting popularity.]

The Academy boxer is overwhelmed by this sudden turn of events, requiring Gus to shove him at Todd, demanding his friend to get in there and “kill him!” Um.

It doesn’t matter. Todd now knows how to throw punches and land them, impressing Lisa with his right hook. “He knows how to fight!” she yells. Well, sort of? The wolf does. Todd… no.

I have to say, rewatching this now while recapping it, this is far more interesting then basketball. Basketball isn’t the same as beating the crap out of your opponent. It’s not a contact sport. So watching Todd smash and roar and snarl in the Academy dude’s face is way more interesting and exciting. At least for me.

Soon enough, the bout is over. Pug (I learned his name finally because of course Gus screamed it) is down for the count and The Wolf has won his first match. Hamilton might stand a chance this season!

Even Lisa and Emily are rooting for Todd now. Dean Dunn goes from perplexed to a half smile, realizing the implications of having a supe on the team. Exploitation, ahoy!

BUT FIRST.

Smash cut tot he dorm building, where all kinds of students are milling about outside. It’s clearly a party, a celebration. A table of food and drinks, streamers throw all over. Stiles runs in and up to where the band is warming up.

Grabbing the mic, Stiles announces that they have a very special guest this evening. “Not only does our Teen Wolf throw a punch but he sings, too.”

YES. YES. HERE COMES THE MUSICAL NUMBER.

(Bless you, whoever you are, who thought this was worthy of uploading to YT.)

Stiles tosses the mic behind him, which of course Todd catches, before breaking into Barry Gordy’s Do You Love Me?, which was a 1962 hit single for The Countours. It’s very fucking obvious that Bateman is lip syncing this; I’m having trouble finding who is actually singing but IMDb says it was performed by Ragtime. ??? Never heard of ’em.

Just watch the video. I can’t describe this in words. It’s too hilarious and awful at the same time.

(Okay, for those who DON’T watch this unfettered glorious cheese fest, I will say it’s just like any other 1980s movie music number with bad dancing and gags. Todd even gets back up dancers. No lie. And half the women attendees are dressed in “50s meets 80s” outfits. I honestly thought this was awesome when I was 9.)

Somewhere, Jason Bateman knows he will never live this down.

Lisa and Emily are in attendance, of course, but not exactly participating. I’m pretty sure that would be beneath them. Though they are seen chatting with Stiles at one point.

Just as Todd is really lip syncing his heart out, the lyrics of the song reflecting his new-found popularity among the student body, Nikki shows up in what is an outfit I probably wore in 1987, although not in those exact colors. She seems surprised at Todd’s antics and whether or not this was supposed to be their date night, it’s unclear. For a brief second they share eye contact but Todd goes right back to the song. Nikki notices that Lisa and Emily have moved in and are right off to Todd’s left, laughing and dancing. UH OH.

A bunch of dudes upend the table of food, ripping the heavy plastic tablecloth free and making it into a… not really a trampoline but they use it to lift (throw?) Todd higher and higher until (in a moment of reversed footage) he lands on the highest balcony of the dorm building. At this point Nikki has turned around and left, disappointed (and disgusted) by Todd’s showboating.

I think it’s an old Teen Wolf t-shirt that Todd pulls from his pocket, but I can’t quite tell. Anyway, he uses it to zip line down to the ground, landing perfectly as Stiles runs up to him. “We’ve arrived!” Stiles announces as Todd lets out a proper howl.

Ooo, we get a fade into the next scene. Way to mix it up, editor! Stiles is pedaling a large tricycle with a cart and full display of Teen Wolf Too items for sale. A crowd gathers around, duh, because everyone wants a t-shirt or hat to proudly wear.

Along comes Todd, who is no longer afraid to wander around campus in full wolf form. He stops to pet a dog. Aw. Also, the clothing is what I would say was pretty much the go-to for members of New Kids on the Block. My god, I remember people wearing that kind of outfit on the street.

Stiles calls Todd over (there is music drowning out the audio) and takes a Frisbee from the cart, directing Todd to run after it and catch it. Todd, apparently fine with the idea of debasing himself in such a manner, drops his backpack and runs after the tossed plastic disc and catches it. In his teeth.

YOU HATED BEING CALLED A DOG BUT NOW YOU’RE ACTING LIKE ONE????

Of course this display causes everyone to throw cash at Stiles while Todd signs shirts and hats till the cows come home. But Todd’s werewolf self is now so very accepted! Sigh.

KICK INTO VIDEO MONTAGE TIME!! WHEEEE!

No, really, I love this. This movie is responsible for introducing me to Oingo Boingo, the band led by Danny Elfman. You know him probably because you love The Nightmare Before Christmas, which he scored and also was Jack Skellington’s singing voice. He’s basically scored practically everything Tim Burton’s done in film. But me, I was introduced to him because of a goddamn werewolf film that features two Oingo Boingo songs.

Let me find a clip. You really need to hear the song before I attempt to describe what’s going on.

Oh, shit, someone did me a solid and uploaded the montage! Squee!!

I’ll describe it anyway, but please do watch the clip, you’ll understand its significance better with the song playing.

The song is “Who Do You Want to Be” off the 1984 album So-Lo. Just the title alone plays into the story line. But then there’s the lyrics:

Who do you want to be today?
Who do you want to be?
Who do you want to be today?
Do you want to be just like someone on TV?

Although I think the song is more a commentary about how easily society (or people in general) was influenced by the advent of television media and how easily it was to change who you are by whatever you watch, in regards to Todd… remember how much Todd rejected the idea that he was a werewolf? How much he dismissed all the warnings Harold gave him? Yet now he is and much like Scott he’s using it to fill this not so sudden need for attention by being the best at boxing. Todd may have wanted to be normal but give almost anyone five minutes in the spotlight and that need, the craving for attention and adoration by the masses, and you’re hooked.

The montage is basically clips of Todd training and Todd destroying his opponents in the ring. [Wing: I love this kind of montage. Hearts and moons in my eyes again. How did I never watch a movie about a boxing werewolf?!] None of the other members of the team are allowed to complete in matches, since Todd easily wins without trying. [Wing: …WHERE IS THE LOGIC DAMN IT.] This breeds resentment. Particularly with Chubby, who was the only other team member who won a match.

It is also worth noting that Todd never changes back to human during training or at the matches. Supernatural powers are addictive, folks.

Now there are massive amounts of spectators attending the bouts, and even Dean Dunn is super enthusiastic about Todd’s prowess, coming to the edge of the ring and giving him a ‘one two’ air punch. Hell, the old man gets in the ring for a photo, in which Todd gives him a hard squeeze about the shoulders, Dunn managing a smile for the photo.

In the background of the crowds in the stands cheering, we see Gus staring darkly, those damn aviator glasses on, watching his opponent’s every move and learning.

We actually cut to a boxing match where Gus is beating the ever living tar out of his opponent until the ref steps in. Sheesh. The dude is barely on the mat before the bell rings and Gus is declared the winner. A guy jumps into the ring with a cassette recorder and immediately interviews Gus. The championship match for the season is two weeks away. The interviewer says, “it’s down to you and that wolf.” Kind of telling they don’t consider Todd human, just an animal.

Gus of course uses the old adage that every dog has his day.

BACK TO THE MONTAGE! Todd, who’s actually back to human this is a shock, is in a class where the professor is handing back graded papers. Todd’s s graded A+ while the guy behind him has received an F.

Todd is shocked, yo.

The professor just gives Todd a look and a smile and it’s then you know that the whole goddamn grade is a farce, it’s because Todd has brought prestige to the school via boxing and we can’t have star athletes failing because they don’t attend class or do the work. Nope.

[Wing: Aaaah, that whole real life issues turning up in a cheesy werewolf sequel. Love it.]

Over in Dean Dunn’s office, we see Dunn staring out some mini blinds while Todd, his feet up on the desk, is sitting with the Rottweiler next to him. Dunn slides a key chain across the desk top, which Todd catches. I don’t know cars well (much to my mother’s disappointment) but I do know it’s keys to a fancy sports car. Todd smiles at Dunn, who looks half scared, half resigned to the monster Todd is becoming.

Todd pets the Rottweiler, who has clearly chosen Todd as his master now.

AND CUE SECOND MONTAGE SCENE WITH A SECOND OINGO BOINGO SONG!

Seriously, this is the best.

This song, “Outrageous”, off 1987’s BOI-NGO, yet again describes the situation in the film quite accurately with its lyrics.

The scene follows Todd driving a cherry red Chevy Corvette C4 (I gave up and google’d it) with Chubby in the passenger seat, as they drive around campus. Todd drives recklessly, weaving in and out of his lane, into oncoming traffic, past “slow” drivers. [Wing: This is fun and all, but it’s no van surfing.] Chubby, smoking a big far cigar, seems concerned but really gets to questioning the were’d out Todd’s behavior when the wolf turns and begins to tailgate a bicycle, even bumping the tire. Todd thinks this is hilarious. We are treated to shots of the vanity license plates, that read “Wolf Too”.

Bicyclist realizes he’s being nearly run off the road and tries to pedal faster, the bicycle wobbling dangerously until he turns sharply and ends up in a patch of greenery as the Corvette screams past.

Outrageous things are gonna happen to me!

Todd turns sharply, burning rubber as he turns down a narrow alley where some students flee across the street just in time while others (mainly women) wave at Todd. Uh huh. Another squealing turn and Todd slows to a stop in front of a building. Lisa and Emily are talking to some dudes but as soon as they see Todd and his shiny red car, it’s over. Todd motions for Chubby to get out for the girls to get in the car. But, it’s just a two seater. Emily squeezes in, sitting between Todd and Lisa, but there’s no room left for Chubby.

In fact, Todd takes off before Chubby can even say anything, let alone stop him. So much for friendship, Chubby.

Todd slows to a stop for a crosswalk and who’s in that crosswalk? Nikki. Who gives him a disappointed (and slightly disgusted) look, since Emily’s practically draped over him and Lisa is there, too. Todd stares after her while the girls laugh and smile.

Chubby, meanwhile, is left sitting on the curb. The montage ends with him trying to thumb a ride.

Aw. Montage over.

Stiles is walking down the dorm hall, headed to his room. Reaching it, we see the door is plastered with stickers: “WOLF CRAZY” and “TEEN WOLF IS #1”. Subtle. Stiles finds a do-not-disturb sign on the knob but ignores it, removes a key, and unlocks the door. I should mention that we are treated to girls squealing and giggling, making it quite clear what’s going on behind closed doors.

The door opens but only partially, the security chain blocking Stiles from entering. Someone comes and undoes it. “Emily!” Stiles is shocked to see her, let alone the fact she is clad only in white satin bra and high-cut panties. “Go away,” she tells Stiles, shutting the door in his face. Lisa cackles loudly and we hear Todd say, “You don’t mind, do you, buddy?”

Pounding on the door, Stiles is obviously upset with Todd. Todd tells him to beat it. So we move on, to another dorm room door, that has a reader board sign that says “closed for business” and a sticker of a pig that reads “when it doubt, pig out”. “Chubby!” Stiles yells, as he eventually breaks into the dorm room. Chubby, who’s trying to sleep, farts and uses the sheet to try and dissipate the smell.

Entering the room, which for some reason has a huge display case of refrigerated drinks like Quik, Stiles holds his toothbrush forlornly and sits on the edge of the bed. He catches a whiff and chastises Chubby. Dude, it’s Chubby’s room, you just totally broke into it.

“I’ve created a monster,” Stiles bemoans. Chubby offers him a cookie. Sigh.

SMASH CUT to a dead frog pinned in a dissection tray. A scalpel hovers over it. Todd, in human form, stares at it in disgust while Nikki stares angrily at him in anticipation, tapping a single nail on the work station. Todd admits he was absent on the day the class did the dissection.

Nikki grabs the tray, angrily repining the frog. Todd asks if she’s mad at him; she makes a noise back in reply. Todd tries again: “You’re jealous.” “What? Of those two leeches you’ve been hanging around with??” Nikki fires back, telling Todd he’s blind to what’s really going on, that Lisa and Emily only like the wolf and not the actual, real Todd.

So, because duh, Todd shoots back that just because everything is going swell for him it doesn’t give Nikki– but he can’t finish because she picks up the frog and slaps him across the face with it.

Have I mentioned how much I love Nikki? Because I do.

Todd is shocked. Just shocked. “You just hit me with a dead frog!” “Jerk!” Nikki snaps back. So Todd throws the frog at her, but she ducks, which means it hits another student in the back. Said student throws it back at Todd, who dodges, meaning it hits another student. A third student yells “FROG FIGHT!” and dead frogs go flying everywhere. Ugh.

Immediately Todd is back in wolf form, picking up another dead frog to throw, as others are smacking into students all over the room. Someone grabs a live frog and puts it down the back of a woman’s sweater, which sends her running from the room. Nikki wisely grabs her bag and flees. Todd attempts to dodge down the aisle and out the door but Professor Brooks arrives, demanding to know what is going on.

She tells everyone to clean up, that class is over, but not before she corners Todd and tells him she wants to speak with him. We cut to Todd, back to human form, approaching her desk. Professor Brooks tells him she’s spoken to his other professors. She knows about how he’s getting fake grades that help him coast through school and all about his Corvette. “When you have a gift, you have a responsibility to use it wisely! You’re not and you’re only letting yourself down!”

Yeah, Todd isn’t listening, Tanya. He literally checks his watch, prompting Professor Brooks to ask if he’s in a hurry. “Yeah, I have to get to practice. Team’s nothing without the wolf!” Ugh.

Professor Brooks reads him the riot act, telling him he can’t face life as the wolf and expect it to fix all his problems. In addition to the boxing championship, class finals are coming and Todd becomes a real asshole and tells her he doesn’t think he needs her class. AFTER HE BEGGED HER TO LET HIM TAKE IT. Nikki was right, you jerk. He walks away, leaving Professor Brooks totally stunned.

(Bateman can totally play smarmy jerk to perfection and still be hot doing it. He is literally just below Sutherland on that list for me.)

Outside the building, Todd is stunned to see Nikki waiting for him. She doesn’t know why she did. (I do, I do!) She tells Todd she misses the old him, the real him. Todd explains that the “old” him turned into a werewolf and the wolf lets him do what he wants to do. He goes on to parrot Professor Brooks words about gifts and responsibility but thankfully Nikki isn’t stupid. She yells at him, asking why he’s tossed away school, becoming a veterinarian, their budding relationship.

“My feelings for you are real. They have nothing to do with the wolf.”
“Look, I’m late and you’re wrong.”

WAY TO BE A TOTAL ASSHOLE, TODD.

It’s night now, and we see two mini golf putters hitting two balls at the same time. Clearly it’s Todd showing off. He sinks both putts as Lisa and Emily watch. Neither woman looks happy. In fact they share a soured look while Todd is retrieving the golf balls.

Who else is there? Gus and Pug and a couple other Academy dudes. Gus sinks the same putt with his golf ball, striding up to Todd and the women. Grabbing the golf ball, Gus informs them that his party will play through. Lisa is literally staring at Gus in that “Oh my god I ditched that for this??” way.

Because Gus wouldn’t be the big bad without showing that, he stops and turns towards Lisa and Emily. “How can you take him seriously? He’s a freshman, with an awful lot of hair.” Oh ha ha ha, you’re hilarious Steve, I mean, Gus!

Asshole, I mean Todd, gets up in Gus’ face and tells him to shut his mouth. Words start flying and the situation starts to escalate, to the point one of Gus’ entorage tells him no they can’t fight at the family fun center. Lisa cuts her eyes to Gus as she and Emily wordlessly decide Todd is no longer cool.

Lisa wordlessly goes to stand with Gus, putting her arm through his, nodding to Emily to join her. And she does. Huh. That is an interesting trio there. Like, are Lisa and Emily in a secret relationship and Gus is their third member? Someone’s probably written fanfic about this, somewhere, because this is the internet. [Wing: If they haven’t, they should. Lisa and Emily are totally dating and just bring in guys to share.]

Todd is upset. He’s just been ditched by the hot girls. Gus gets up in Todd’s face, telling him he’ll die in the ring, before he crushes the golf ball to dust in his fist. Impossible but this is a film and that was a fake ass golf ball, so.

Returning to his dorm room, Todd knocks open the door with his putter. Shockingly, because really it is shocking, Stiles and Chubby are studying, their noses buried in text books. Finals are upon us, yo!

Both ignore Todd, Chubby coldly reminding him that some students have to take finals. Ouch. Moving on to Stiles, Todd suggest that Stiles, he, and the wolf (interesting how Todd seems to think the wolf is separate of him, isn’t it?) for a drive in the Corvette. “Nope,” Stiles answers. Hm, Stiles grown serious? Realizing how awful this whole scheme has turned out? Wonders never cease.

Todd bothers Chubby, even suggesting he might let Chubby drive the Corvette, but Chubby packs up his book and leaves for quieter pastures. Stiles gets up and informs Todd that he, of anybody, wanted Todd to become the wolf so badly that he is “partly” to blame for what Todd has turned into. “What have I become?” Todd asks sarcastically.

“A jerk, Todd.” Stiles retorts. Todd acts fake wounded while Stiles turns and leaves the dorm room. Yes, Todd, you have been officially abandoned by everyone who actually cared about you and even those who didn’t and just wanted to share your spotlight.

Now things are getting fancy! We have a long fade-in to the empty boxing ring, the grandstands set up and ready to be filled with fans for the championship match. Todd is sitting in the corner of the ring and in the distance we see a familiar face coming in through the doors.

UNCLE HAROLD IS HERE TO PUT EVERYTHING RIGHT AGAIN! YAAAAAAY!

Todd gets up and greets Harold, as the older man climbs between the ropes. It seems Todd finally broke down and called his wise uncle, because who else is going to set Todd back on the straight and narrow path at this point?

Admitting that he let things get out of hand, and acknowledging that Harold warned him (!!) but he didn’t listen (!!!), Todd says he’s hurt so many people he cares about.

“What’re you going to do about it?” Harold asks him. YES! STRAIGHT TO THE POINT, NO CODDLING. LOVE IT. When his nephew says he doesn’t know, Harold reminds him that he’s only human, too. He tells Todd that the mistake was made but admitted, so that’s over. “Maybe it’s time you were Todd Howard again,” Harold tells him.

SEE. SEE WHY I LOVE THIS MOVIE.

Confessing he’s really scared of jumping into the ring to fight Gus, and being human while doing it, Harold brings Todd’s focus back by saying he’s only interested in Todd and what’s in Todd’s heart. AW.

Turns out, uncle Harold came prepared to coach Todd not just in life but in boxing. He pulls out a pair of boxing gloves and puts them on his nephew, telling him sometimes you have to take a stand, even if it’s the last thing you want to do. The boxing gloves belonged to Harold, who used to box in college. AWW.

He jokes maybe he can show Todd some moves that nobody’s seen in the last thirty years. “When’s the match?” “Tomorrow.” “Plenty of time!” Harold declares.

Of course then the scene fades into another scene, clearly later in the afternoon and else where on campus (damn it, I wanted to see Harold fancy boxing moves!) and Todd is running up the steps of the research library, where he had that argument with Nikki. As soon as he’s in the room, the librarian spots him and stands up, wagging her finger at him. Geez.

But it doesn’t matter. Nikki is sitting at a nearby table and looks up to see Todd standing next to her. Taking a seat, Todd apologizes for being a jerk, admitting it’s not the wolf that makes him that way because he’s still a human too. He hopes there’s time left to make up for the way he’s behaved. Nikki relents, removing her glasses and telling him there’s still time to try. AWWW.

“You can start by saying you’re really sorry for mistreating someone you like.”
“I’m sorry for mistreating someone I really love.”

HEART. MELT.

Nikki is shocked, grinning and extremely pleased that Todd’s come to his senses. Instead of saying anything in return, she points out he missed Professor Brooks’ final exam. Nikki suggests talking to the professor in an effort to get her to let Todd take the final and not flunk the class. Not sure that’s what Todd wanted to hear but there they go, running across campus, to find Professor Brooks.

Catching her, Todd admits he doesn’t deserve a second chance, but that he really wants to take the final. Professor Brooks says that he can take a makeup exam at 12pm, the next day. Todd points out his boxing championship match is at 3pm. “Well the test takes three hours, so you outta just make it,” Professor Brooks tells him. Final offer.

“We’ll take it!” Nikki tells her, grabbing Todd by the arm as they run off to cram for the exam. AND HERE WE GO, YET ANOTHER MUSIC MONTAGE!

This one features the song “Send Me an Angel” by Real Life and I really fucking love this song, damn it, Teen Wolf Too.

Someone loves me YET AGAIN because here is the scene, on YT! Ha hahaha.

Nikki stacks up about a dozen books Todd needs to read, before he sets into taking notes while she paces behind him, reading important key details from the books. They eventually switch places, Nikki taking (or perhaps correcting) the notes and Todd reading aloud. Eventually it switches to Todd reading book after book from the towering stack on the desk.

THIS IS HOW WE LIVED BEFORE THE INTERNET, PEOPLE. BOOKS. PHYSICAL BOOKS. AND NOTE TAKING IN LONG, HAND-WRITTEN, PEN ON PAPER, WRITING.

This is literally a skill of mine that I cherish. My junior year of high school, I’d missed several classes but came back to find we were supposed to give a presentation about a couple of paragraphs of material. IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES (the duration of two other groups’ presentations) I read the paragraphs, took notes, then promptly stood in front of the teacher and basically did the whole presentation myself flawlessly, while my group partners stood around and stared at me. Not only that but I was able to answer the questions the teacher threw out me without much issue. Fuck I can remember anything about it 20 years after the fact (I’m pretty sure it was something to do with philosophy) but I can totally do that kind of shit on the spot. BECAUSE I LEARNED TO TAKE NOTES AND COMPREHEND CRAP. WITHOUT THE INTERNET.

Sorry for the digression there.

Todd is still reading, taking notes, hi-lighting text, he looks exhausted. Only half the stack has been gone through. And then Nikki is leaning down to give him a kiss, aww. In fact it basically turns out to a fully clothed make out session on Todd’s bed. I swear, this and the “love scene” in The Lost Boys really skewed my ideas about this when I was younger. This is practically chaste in its innocence. Although the shot moves back to Todd’s glasses sitting on a pile of books before it fades into Todd, wearing fresh clothes, finishing another book before he looks over where Nikki (clothed) is sleeping under the comforter in his bed.

Getting up, Todd comes to the side of the bed, where Nikki sits up rather suddenly. “It’s time,” he tells her quietly, as she catches some eye crusties from the corner of his eye on her finger tip and blows them away, almost like making a wish. I always thought this was odd and weird but whatever. “Good luck on your test, and at the match,” she replies, ruffling his hair. Todd asks her to come see him box and she agrees. They kiss in parting. Aw.

Now we watch Todd run across campus (what is with long distance shots of action, I love them so) with the next shot of him taking the final exam, checking his watch. Professor Brooks, who’s at her desk grading, eventually takes off her glasses and walks over to where Todd sits, taking a seat across from him. He pushes the test booklet over to her, saying it’s the best he could do. “I missed a few classes.”

Flipping through it, Professor Brooks tells Todd he’s done well enough on the exam to pass the course. Yay. Todd thanks her for trying to help while he was busy being a total asshole. “Welcome back,” she replies.

Over at the stadium (I guess that’s it? maybe gymnasium is better?) there’s a crowd in the lobby, where Stiles is selling Teen Wolf Too merch. Todd runs in, late, past Stiles and towards the locker room. All the rest of the team are sitting in the locker room as Todd runs in. Chubby asks where he’s been. “Taking a final.” Todd explains.

Enter coach Finstock and the assistant coach. “Where’s the wolf?!” He bellows, followed by something about fighting in the 145lbs weight class RIGHT NOW. Todd stares before answering that it’s Peter’s weight class. His team mate seems surprised. Todd continues that they’re a team and going to fight as a team and that he will not be fighting in were form.

Finstock immediately is a jerk, saying the team will go out there and get their brains knocked out. “That’ll be attractive.” Way to build confidence, Finstock!

Chubby, who’s been sitting there listening, gets a determined look on his face before he breaks out into the boxing fight song (??) The rest of the team sings along, forgetting that the second color for Hamilton is white, which Finstock yells out. CONFIDENCE REGAINED!

Everyone but Todd rushes out, as he’s standing around in his street clothes (though barefoot, nice) and changing into his boxing uniform. That’s when Dean Dunn slithers in, grabbing Todd’s shoulder, telling him this is just the beginning. “State, Nationals, the Olympics!” All Todd has to do, since this is his first year, is fight and win, and Dunn will take care of the rest. “Grades! Cars! Money! Women! It’ll be our little secret!”

Yeah this sounds like a deal with the devil. RUN, TODD.

That’s when Dunn realizes Todd isn’t saying anything in reply. He warns Todd he better not having any funny ideas about not fighting in wolf-form. “I still run this school!” he yells. “I hold your scholarship!”

He leaves Todd, who has said nary a word during this whole pep talk / threat, and Todd takes his… tank top that’s not really a jersey but I don’t know uniforms so whatever and stares at it. He turns and stares at uncle Harold’s boxing gloves that are hung up in his locker, as we hear the distant sound of the bell dinging and crowds cheering.

SMASH CUT to a packed house. The bleachers are overflowing with cheering and screaming spectators. Hot dogs and sodas are being sold, pennants and other souvenirs are being hocked. It’s a crowd mad for boxing, mad for the Teen Wolf. In the ring, one of the Hamilton boxers is fighting against a dude from the Academy. It’s a pretty even match.

Moving around we see uncle Harold is in attendance, with Nikki sitting the row above him. Switching over, we move in on the Hamilton cheerleaders, doing a cheer, Stiles joining them with his own pom poms. Lord help us. We never see who wins but Finstock calls for Peter to enter the ring next. Yay teamwork!

Floating down along side the grandstands, the camera finds Professor Brooks standing in the shadows, watching the matches. There’s something about her expression that looks like a mix of anger and determination. Dean Dunn enters the gymnasium, headed her way. Professor Brooks whirls around and steps into his path, as if she knew he was coming…

Dunn tells her he’s busy right now and tries to side step but she blocks him, staring up in his face. She actually pins him to the side of the grandstand, telling him she knows what he’s doing to/for/with Todd; the grades, the car, the promises. She tells him to lay off, that Todd has a future with Hamilton but it’s not in the ring.

“Who do you think you’re talking to? He’ll do exactly as I say!” Dunn answers.
“You don’t own him.” Tanya replies.
“Is this your idea of a threat?”
“No. This is.”

And that’s when Tanya Brook steps into Dean Dunn’s personal space bubble and her eyes turn bright red and glow, the sounds of growls filling the air. Dean Dunn has enough sense to look concerned, maybe even has second thoughts about his attitude.

“You don’t know who you’re dealing with,” Tanya warns him, her eyes turning back to human. She walks away, leaving Dunn to look after her, where he finds a very long grey and white wolf tail sticking out underneath her long plaid skirt. A howl of a wolf sounds as Dunn stares in disbelief. Tanya stops and looks at Dunn, clearly showing off that she, too, is a fucking werewolf and will take no shit. I LOVE THIS. THIS IS THE BEST. I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR WING’S RESPONSE TO THIS PART. THERE ARE FEMALE WERES IN THIS WORLD AND WE GOT TO SEE ONE!

[Wing: Sorry, can’t comment, I’m too busy swooning oh my god I love her so much. WHERE IS MY FIC ABOUT ALPHA WEREWOLF PROFESSOR BROOKS?!]

Looks like Todd’s got his uncle Harold and Professor Brooks watching out for his best interest, both human and otherwise!

BACK TO THE RING. Pete apparently wins his match and now Chubby is up. It looks like he’s boxing against Pug but don’t quote me on that. Chubby takes a beating to the stomach and midsection, before a few punches to the face. But it’s not because he smashes his opponent, knocking him out, and catching him before he drags him around the ring and drops him in the corner. Chubby wins. Yay.

NONE OF THAT MATTERS. Now the microphone is being lowered form the ceiling, where a guy in a tux grabs it and welcomes everyone to the Hamilton University Memorial Arena (okay, it’s an arena.) He goes on to introduce the “three time state champion”, Gus. Of course there’s a lot of booing coming out of the stands from the Hamilton fans, as Gus pounds fists with his teammates. At the end of the line waits Lisa, who he gives a rather quick and chaste kiss to.

I’m just glad the goddamn aviator shades are missing.

Announcer goes on to introduce Hamilton’s own “wild and woolly” Todd “the Wolf” Howard. Everyone’s on their feet, screaming and cheering. We see Harold and Nikki applauding. Nikki looks worried. Dean Dunn wanders down the aisle, looking at everyone chanting “Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!” Todd enters, the hood of his robe up, sleeves hiding his arms, his legs clearly human. Hm. We even check in with Professor Brooks, who looks as pensive as uncle Harold.

Of course as soon as Todd ditches the hood and reveals he’s human, 99% of the crowd is pissed and disappointed. Uncle Harold and Nikki are smiling, just like Professor Brooks, all three proud Todd made the right decision.

Dunn grabs Finstock’s sports coat and demands an answer. “Tactics?” Dean Dunn threatens to have Todd kicked out of college before he realizes that Professor Brooks sees and hears this. Boy, he shuts up real fast. It gets worse for Dunn when Todd calls him over and tosses him the keys to the Corvette. “I won’t be needing these anymore. This is my last fight!”

“I hope he kills you!” Dean Dunn growls.

Stiles and Chubby help Todd get ready, Stiles telling him it pays to be positive. Chubby inserts Todd’s mouth guard and they bump foreheads as the bell dings. “He made such a great wolf,” Stiles laments.

The match begins, blah blah blah. Over in the stands, Nikki screams, “KILL HIM, TODD!” right in uncle Harold’s ear. He gives her a look and immediately realizes hey, she likes my nephew! Awww.

Gus is busy taunting Todd, taking advantage when Todd over extends himself and leaves Gus an opening to smash him. Oops. Todd takes a lot of jabs to the face before the bell rings. Stiles pops up between the ropes and gets decked in the face by Gus. Chubby starts spraying Gus with the squirt bottle. The ref has to basically carry Gus back to his corner. This is going well.

Down in the crowd, Emily removes a satin robe to reveal a sparkly one-piece suit that’s missing most of its fabric. She grabs a big placard and walks round the ring to note that round 2 is coming up.

Over in the Hamilton corner, there’s some crazy antics with the squirt bottle and assessment of Todd’s ribs. Stiles’s jaw hurts and he apologizes to Todd for calling the wolf a jerk. He begs Todd to turn, lest Gus kill him. Todd refuses. He asks Finstock if he has anything to say. “Well, um…. no.” Good job, coach Finstock.

The bell rings and round 2 starts. Todd and Gus become locked up, before Gus throws Todd across the ring. Todd takes a lot of punches to the ribs. The ref keeps having to step in and tell them to break it up. Gus gets pissed when Todd dodges and runs past him. I really hate having to describe sports. It’s an intense match. At least it’s far faster then stupid basketball.

Gus has Todd on the ropes, smashing the crap out of him. Uncle Harold, Nikki, and Professor Brooks looks super worried. On the one hand, Todd will survive because he’s a supernatural and I’m sure they have really excellent healing abilities. On the other hand, dude is taking a severe beating in human form.

Chubby, angry, looks around and notices a metal washer on the side of the ring. Grabbing it, he lobs it and it hits the bell, dinging it, sounding the end of round 2. Yay, Chubby! In fact it negates a punch that could have potentially ended the bout, so Gus is pissed.

Todd struggles back over to his corner, holding his ribs. Stiles insists that unless he’s going to wolf out, it’s time to quit. Emily doffs her robe and wanders around in her skimpy bathing suit with the round 3 placard. Todd refuses to quit. Harold calls out to him, miming a right uppercut to the jaw. (I think that’s what it is.) The three friends pause to stare at Emily as she passes by.

Over in the opposite corner, the Academy coach is actually coaching Gus. The bell dings and we’re up again. Ref makes them touch gloves in the middle of the ring. We see various members of the crowd cheering and Stiles and Chubby calling out support for Todd while also playing Paper, Rock, Scissors. Eight minutes of the film left.

Gus pounds Todd with a combination, sending him flying into the ropes. “I’m going to make you howl with pain!” A second round of continual punches to the torso follow. The Hamilton fans are cringing, watching Todd take this beating. Eventually Gus punches him enough that he gets tangled in the ropes. The ref breaks it up.

“He’s going to kill him! Somebody do something!” Nikki shouts. “Don’t worry, he’ll be all right!” Harold reassures her. Nikki takes this moment to move down and sit beside him. The ref makes sure Todd is staying in the ring. Gus runs in and lands a flying right hook and the editing is weird so I can’t tell if it’s one or two flying right hooks but either way, Todd goes down on the mat, spit flying everywhere. Ew.

The ref begins the count. Lisa high fives another student of the Academy. It looks like Gus is gonna win! Todd struggles. Dean Dunn stares. The crowd is yelling for Todd to get up. Even uncle Harold is yelling. Todd looks out and see Dean Dunn’s angry expression, coach Finstock groaning in disappointment.

That’s when Todd’s eyes glow red and there’s some deep growling noises. Professor Brooks sees this. Todd fights it and the glow in his eyes fade. Stiles and Chubby, yelling at him in slow motion, demand he get up. Todd struggles to his knees, his eyes glowing again.

Out in the stands, the camera closes in on Nikki. She mouths, “I love you.” at Todd.

Todd gets to his feet just as the ref calls out, “Nine!” This match isn’t over! The crowd goes wild. Dean Dunn is surprised but pleased. Nikki smiles. The ref checks Todd then motions for them to resume. Gus, resigned, manages a punch that sends Todd reeling back into the ropes. He pounds on Todd’s ribs, taunting him. “C’mon, dog, fight like a man!”

That’s when Todd surprises Gus with an upper cut to the jaw, sending him backwards towards the middle of the ring. Gus is stunned. Todd begins to punch and jab, smashing the crap out of Gus. Lisa realizes that suddenly things are not going her way.

Todd finally has Gus on the ropes, Gus is useless. Even his coach is realizing this match is nearly over. The crowd is eating it up, screaming for Todd. Now Gus is in the corner. The ref pulls Todd back. Gus stands up, raising his fists, and falls face first onto the mat.

TODD HOWARD WINS!!

(Duh.)

[Wing: This is manipulative as hell and completely unsurprising and yet triumphs like this get me every time.]

The crowd rushes the ring. Someone tosses a box of popcorn at Gus’ prone form. Dean Dunn is excited. Harold and Nikki head down. Team Hamilton is in the ring, celebrating Todd’s win. Nikki climbs through the ropes, reaching Todd as his team mates life him on their shoulders in victory. Lisa is suddenly there, up in Todd’s space. He sees Nikki there, uses Lisa to get down from his team mate’s shoulders, much to her surprise/shock/horror. And now Todd is kissing Nikki passionately. Lisa stares. Chubby steps in, dips her, and kisses her, again, to her utter horror. [Wing: Fair point to her, there, because that’s fucked up, Chubby.]

Todd and Nikki are still kissing. Uncle Harold, Stiles, and Chubby hug. Yay.

Freeze frame, credits roll, screen fade to black.

THE END

Final Thoughts

So here you have it, my favorite installment of the “Teen Wolf” film franchise. I’m honestly glad this was the first of the films I saw; it has deeper character development and more heart then the first film. Or maybe that’s just me?

I think it also taught me that it was okay to love and be a fan of supernatural creatures, no matter what other people thought. And because it gave us our first (and sadly only) female werewolf in the series (granted just a tail and glowing eyes but still) it was even more impressionable on my young self.

As I mentioned in my previous recap, the third entry in this series was supposed to star Alyssa Milano as a female werewolf. It was ditched when this film was a box office bomb. On the one hand, boo; on the other, I would have enjoyed it (probably?) though I’m not sure Milano would have been my first choice. I’m having trouble thinking of who else from that era (Winnoa Ryder?) could have starred in a teen werewolf comedy and made it work.

Again, I wish more had been created in this world. So many possibilities. I don’t want to write fanfic but if I have to, I will, damn it.

Honestly, waiting for Wing’s reaction to this film has been what’s driven me to finish this recap. I love the film but my attention span is suffering as of late. Granted, it had been a while since I’d sat down and watched Teen Wolf Too, so it swept me up and reminded me how much I love it. What did you think, Wing??

[Wing: This was so much ridiculous, cheesy werewolf fun. Every single plot point was foreshadowed way too much (yes, including my beloved Professor Brooks), but it was still entertaining and satisfying. I’m so glad you decided to recap this one, because watching it and reading your recap has been a great way to kick off 2019 and my favourite full moon. I’m also delighted that without knowing anything about this movie, I chose to recap Cursed back in October, because the wrestling and boxing themes run together so well.]

Well, this wraps up my second installment (and our fourth overall) of Snark at the Moon! I have no idea what Wing and I will be watching for the fall 2019 entries, but I’m sure we can turn up more werewolves to enjoy. See you then!

[Wing: So many werewolves, so little time.]

 

 

 

 

I am a teenage vampire at heart, though my fashion sense has thankfully moved beyond the 1980s. I recap movies because the world needs more snarky commentary on the internet.

 Category: Snark at the Moon! recaps

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