Posted in Friday the 13th movies, Let's Do It! recaps

Recap #270: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Title: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Summary: A high school senior class trip turns into Murder Party Massacre and ends with Jason taking out his issues on New York City’s sewer system.

Tagline: New York has a new problem (I would argue that in A.D. 2020, NY has a much different problem then a serial mass murderer, but, then again, a virus without a cure is in its own way a serial mass murderer… never mind.)

Notes: I honestly thought the prior installment would break me, what with its super poor handling of mental health. I was wrong. This was the entry that completely broke me and made me so angry.

Initial Thoughts

Virgin’s back! And so soon after the previous installment! I know, I’m shocked, too. But, seeing that we (as of this writing) have been in some sort of lock down / self-isolation / quarantine mode (future readers, this was written in 2020) I don’t have a lot to do other then recap. Yeah, I could do the dishes, probably do some laundry, but I’d rather spend my day with that lovable scamp, Jason Voorhees! [Wing: After this movie, I’m not sure you would, really.] Who, apparently, gets to go on a wild field trip! Being that half the films seem to be centered around New Jersey, and some confusion on whether some are in California, I guess going to the Big Apple makes sense?

Getting Part VII: The New Blood finished and posted (thanks to Wing’s help) on its release date (the thirtytooth anniversary) [Wing: I still cannot believe I did that. Readers who missed it, my tweet about this said “happy 32th anniversary” because I am an idiot. Virgin saved the day with her pronunciation.] injected, well, new blood (I’m sorry) into my quest. Yeah, I’m on the downhill slope here, sliding towards one of the ultimate crossovers in recent cinematic history, and when this installment is done, I will only have four left, two of which are still considered “in franchise” (Jason takes another field trip and X marks the spot?) then we hit the crossover, then finally the reboot. I’m not sure why this series needed to be rebooted but I guess I’ll understand whether or not that was a good idea when we get there.

So! New York City! Everything I know about the Big Apple is either through films from the 70s-80s-90s or TV shows that are “set” there but really filmed in Canada. I can say, with honesty, that it’s never been my desire to go there. Like, I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity but I wouldn’t say it’s in my top ten. Or my top 50, either. Just thinking about the city makes me feel claustrophobic. [Wing: I like NYC, but I would never live there. Even if it were more affordable, the sheer number of people and gigantic buildings is just too much. I love cities, but that one doesn’t work for me. (Also, I will never live east of the Mississippi River again if I have my way.]

This installment dropped July 28th, 1989. Which is not remotely a Friday or the 13th of a month. After the fiasco that was The New Blood, Paramount knew it needed to cover its sins tracks as fast as possible. The wiki tells me this was the most poorly-performing film in the franchise in box office take (uh oh) and people really love or hate it. Sounds like The New Blood all over again. I think, honestly, that could be said of almost ALL the sequels. People either love or hate ’em.

Okay, put on your life vest, it’s time to take a sea cruise with Jason Voorhees! Let’s Do It!

Important note! Remember, I am rolling over the body count from each of the previous films recapped, so that will be reflected in the counter and final tally.

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Posted in Nightmare Hall recaps

Recap #269: Nightmare Hall #17: Last Breath by Diane Hoh

cover of Nightmare Hall 17 Last Breath by Diane HohTitle: Nightmare Hall #17: Last Breath by Diane Hoh 

Summary: Finding her seemingly perfect life haunted by a series of strange occurrences, Cassidy is frustrated by rumors that she is losing her mind, until a fall down the stairs and an encounter with poison [JC: Lies! There was no poison!] prove that someone wants Cassidy dead. 

Initial Thoughts

I don’t remember anything about this one, so it’s highly likely I never read it back in my actual teen years. It opens with a prologue, though, and possibly bad guy pov, and we all know how I feel about those, so things are off to a great start even without any memories of it. [JC: At least this one is actually written by Hoh rather than *shudders* Nola Thacker. I did read it back in the day, but couldn’t remember how it played out.]

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Posted in Other movies

Recap #268: Chopping Mall (1986)

Social Distance Snarking

Title: Chopping Mall (1986)

Summary: Sexy after-hours party held by employees in a goddamn mall is interrupted by murderous mall security robots. Hi-jinks ensue.

Tagline: Buy or Die  (Well, that’s… succinct.) …Half off is just the beginning! (Oh! It continued on! How… odd. For a tagline.)

Notes: Something tells me this film has become something of a cult classic and will either be very good (bad) or very bad (bad). [JC: Considering whose production company this is, it is going to be campy schlock. Because that’s what he does. (I’m not name-dropping it yet, because bat came to the realization eventually, and I actually cheered when she did.)]

Initial Thoughts

Hi and welcome to “how bat is trying to spend time during social distancing amid a global pandemic” portion of 2020. Seriously, it’s not like I really left the house a lot when there wasn’t a virus plague going around but shit is starting to get to me. It sucks being a empath. I think I need a tinfoil hat because I feel worn out.

But anyway, you’re not here for that. You’re here to read another recap about a horror movie! Distraction, yay! I’ve been looking to find some really bad horror movies that I’ve never seen and so far I’ve found some doozies. Today’s selection is 1986’s Chopping Mall!

So, somehow – this may be a theme(?) – I found another “horror comedy” but this one also has the distinction of being “sci-fi” as well. Unlike My Demon Lover this film seems to know exactly what it is – sci-fi/horror – with a dash of poorly written comedy thrown in because 1986. Er, technically, 1985.

I’ve heard about this film through Twitter and I think it’s been making the rounds on those pay-for subscription horror movie channels – apparently for sure on Shudder right now – but I only like things I have to spend hours trying to track down through moderately nefarious means. This is the age of the internet, you know. Why make it easy for myself?

Just watch the trailer:

Okay, trailer lies. No one broke into the mall. And it gives way too much away. For fun, I’ve invited JC to join me with commentary. This is not just because she confessed to peeking at my post as I was writing it but because I think I mentioned this film quite a while ago and she replied to my tweet about it. Maybe I’m misremembering but anyway. It’s fun to bring a new victim friend along for a recap ride! [JC: I have no memory of a Twitter convo about this, but it’s completely possible. My memory is very unpredictably hit-or-miss when it comes to conversations. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to watch this movie for the last couple of years, ever since I listened to the How Did This Get Made podcast episode about it (which I was going to link, but it is unfortunately behind the paywall right now. Boo.). I never got around to it until bat gave me the incentive with the offer to comment on her recap of it. Which I had peeked at long enough to determine what she was working on next. I mean, it was labeled “[redacted recap]”! How could I resist seeing what it was!] [Wing: I’m pretty sure there was a Twitter convo, because the movie’s been sitting on my list of things to watch so I can comment and up until y’all talked about it, I hadn’t even heard of it. I can’t say I was missing out. Mostly.

Note from the future: Apparently I mixed up two different twitter conversations about movies to recap, so I have rudely inserted myself into this recap, but since I didn’t learn this until after all my comments, well, I’m here! Enjoy surprise!Wing.]

Geez. I guess it’s time to spend an arm and a leg. Let’s go Chopping!

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #266: Goosebumps #4: Say Cheese And Die! by R.L. Stine

Say Cheese And Die Cover Artwork by Tim Jacobus
Say Cheese And Die Cover Artwork by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps #4 – Say Cheese And Die!, a.k.a. “Greg Banks Won’t Eat His Cereal”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: One picture is worth a thousand screams.

Summary: Every Picture Tells A Story.

Greg thinks there is something wrong with the old camera he and his friends found. The photographs keep turning out wrong. Very wrong. Like the snapshot Greg took of his father’s new car that shows it totaled. And then Greg’s father is in a nasty wreck.

But Greg’s friends don’t believe him. Shari even makes Greg bring the camera to her birthday party and take her picture.

Only Shari’s not in the photograph when it develops.

Is Shari about to be taken out of the picture permanently?

Who is going to take the next fall for…

the evil camera?

Initial Thoughts

It’s time again for another of my childhood faves, and it’s one of the first Goosebumps books I ever bought with my own money.

“Say Cheese And Die!” is one of the original ten, and it’s one of the most well remembered due to Tim Jacobus’ striking cover artwork. I used to own a t-shirt with that image when I was a kid. Apparently, R.L. Stine had to go back and include a sequence in this book based on the cover after it was finished.

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Posted in Friday the 13th movies, Let's Do It! recaps

Recap #264: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Title: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Summary: Tina just wants a “normal” life but when she returns to the scene of a horrific loss, she learns that “normal” is subjective. Oh, and Jason comes back. Again.

Tagline: Jason is back, but this time someone’s waiting! (Well, that sounds ominous…)

Notes: Yeah, this took forever. Sorry. A world-wide pandemic struck, I suffered the loss of my grandmother, there was a trip to Anaheim in there, two trips to visit family in another state (not all in that order), and – just generally – I was sorely unprepared to deal with a film that poorly handles mental health issues.

Initial Thoughts

Hi-ho, Virgin here, back for ROUND SEVEN with my ultimate continually reanimated nemesis, Jason Voorhees! That’s right, it’s time for Let’s Do It! A Virgin Does Horror!

It’s like 4 months into 2019 now it’s now 5 months into 2020, meaning I sort of missed posting this on schedule (like… I’m way off the schedule at this point, oops) but life gets in the way sometimes and I was in no shape to sit through, let alone recap, another Jason & Friends adventure. Things are back to “normal” (not sure that’s the word that describes things around here but whatever) so here I am, tackling the seventh film installment of this SERIES THAT WON’T DIE.

Obviously I know there is an end in sight; I only have five films after this one. Just five! Only five. God help me, five more of these nightmares, and technically one is a crossover and the other is a reboot. Help. [Wing: You’ve got this! Five is nothing. You’ve done way more than five already. I believe in you!]

This film dropped into theaters on May 13th, 1988. I may have gone and found the trailer on YT, because for some reason I could hear, in my head, the voice over narrator saying “the new blood”. My audio memories were pretty close. I didn’t watch the trailer, I just skipped ahead. Believe me, for all the awful stuff I’ve heard about this entry, I don’t want to spoil my misery!

ANYWAY. Although I was much more aware of films in general at this point (I would have turned 7 roughly a week ahead of this film’s release) I can’t tell you why I remember that tagline. I would say it was probably played on television, I probably heard it and desperately tried to ignore it (I was a horror wuss at that time in my life) but I could also be imagining it.

Glancing at the wiki article, it seems as though this was originally intended to be the crossover with Nightmare on Elm Street but negotiations fell through and the meet cute between Jason and Freddie did not happen for another fifteen years. Huh. Part of me still wonders if I need to stop and start watching THAT franchise between I get to the crossover film. Hm. Wing, thoughts?

Yeah, I have never seen Nightmare on Elm Street. (Or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Or Hellraiser. It would be easier to write a list of what I have seen, tbh.) I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m a horror virgin.

I love that the working title during filming was “Birthday Bash”. Now that’s a movie I wish I was watching. At least it’s a lot more interesting in my imagination then I’m sure this will be. Okay, let’s just get on with this before my pessimism ruins the fun.

Let’s Do It, Jason! (You have failed to come and save me from all this, Kevin Bacon, damn it! Some great American hero you are! STAR-LORD LIED!!)

Important note! Remember, I am rolling over the body count from each of the previous films recapped, so that will be reflected in the counter and final tally.

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Posted in Fear Street Recaps

Recap #261: Fear Street #44: The Rich Girl by R.L. Stine

The Rich Girl Cover by Bill Schmidt
The Rich Girl Cover by Bill Schmidt

Title: Fear Street #44 – The Rich Girl, a.k.a. “Capitalism Stinks!”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Bill Schmidt

Tagline: Would you kill to be rich?

Summary: Whom can you trust?

Emma Naylor and her best friend Sydney Shue always share their secrets. And now they have a big one. They found a duffel bag stuffed with money.

They swore never to tell anyone. But Sydney broke her promise. She told her boyfriend, Jason, about the money.

Now Emma is terrified. She doesn’t trust Jason – and she thinks he would do anything to get the money for himself. Even kill…

Initial Thoughts

It’s finally spring, which means it’s time to think green. And what could be greener than money!

Money, the root of all evil and the root of this later entry Fear Street book. “The Rich Girl” was one of the earliest Fear Street books I can remember purchasing and a point of small interest for me over the years. As of this recap, it’s the first time I’ve re-read the book from beginning to end since middle school.

Despite what the summary says, Emma’s best friend Sydney is technically the main character since most of the action is happening from her point-of-view. The implications of this book are definitely rather uncomfortable to think about and there’s a lot of ableism going on near the end. Sorry, Wing.

[Wing: Eh, I’m never surprised by that around here. Also, no matter how many times I see that tagline, I first read it as “Would it kill you to be rich?”]

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Posted in Nightmare Hall recaps

Recap #260: Nightmare Hall #15: Truth or Die by Diane Hoh/Nola Thacker

 

Title: Nightmare Hall #15 Truth or Die

Author: Diane Hoh (Nola Thacker)

Summary: It begins as a game.

When first-year student Parrie Moore meets the other girls at a party, joining them in their harmless game of Truth or Dare sounds like fun.

And at first it is. The dares are silly pranks that make them all laugh.

But gradually the dares become stranger, more dangerous. The game is taking on a life of its own.

Parrie is frightened. But it’s only a game . . . or is it?

 

*Note: That ^ is not the cover I remember, and I hate it. THIS is the cover I had as a kid, with the see-through window that opened to another part of the picture, although by this point they might have been one solid cover. Much more nostalgic.

 

Initial Thoughts

Well, first things first, we have a Thacker! *sarcastic jazz hands* That means I’m not holding this to the same standard I would were it actually Hoh writing. I generally find Thacker’s writing to range from “meh” to “I’m going to build a time machine to go back and punch you in the throat as you’re writing this.”

I like the premise, even though it’s not one I’m a total sucker for; it reminds me of a writing prompt I saw on reddit and am actually currently writing a story based on. So, I hope there’s nothing in this book that I accidentally plagiarize for my own. Anyway, there are a lot of “truth or dare gone wrong” stories out there, even in current day, and this one doesn’t stand out at all. Unfortunately.

Regardless if this one is good or bad, I’m happy Wing welcomed me into the Nightmare Hall recapping fold. I remember loving these books, although after reading the recaps of them here, so far I’m questioning my teenage judgment. I doubt this is going to be the book that makes me gasp, “My God, they are as good as I remember!”

Anyway. Onward!

[Wing: I had the window covers, too, and I loved them so damn much. And many thanks to JC for stepping in when I couldn’t get my hands on a copy of this one. More JC recaps is always a good thing!]

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #259: Black Orchid #14 – “Glamour’s End” by Dick Foreman and Rebecca Guay

Title: Black Orchid #14 – “Glamour’s End” a.k.a. “Annis Get Your Gun!”

Writer: Dick Foreman

Penciller: Rebecca Guay

Inker: Stan Woch

Colorist: Digital Chameleon

Letterer: Clem Robbins

Editor: Lou Stathis

Assistant Editor: Alex Alonso

Cover Artist: Dave McKean

Summary: In England, Black Orchid encounters a formidable foe who ensares her with a powerful “glamour” spell.

Initial Thoughts

So it feels like I’ve been on creative burnout for I don’t know how long and I’m freaking sick of it. It took me forever to finish a couple of other non-Point Horror related projects, and with this ear infection thing I’ve been dealing with I haven’t had any energy to do anything. I think I’m having a depressive episode and have to get in touch with my therapist.

I’m starting to believe my problem is I’m still expecting too much of myself with this website and am forcing obligation on myself to have stuff prepared for holidays and shit, even if I don’t have the energy or particularly care about a certain book.

That out of the way, I found it’s been easier to focus on minor stuff so I’m doing a recap of one of my favorite issues from one of my favorite titles about one of my favorite heroines.

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Posted in Nightmare Hall recaps

Recap #258: Nightmare Hall #16: Book of Horrors by Diane Hoh

cover of Nightmare Hall Book of Horrors by Diane HohTitle: Nightmare Hall 16: Book of Horrors by Diane Hoh

Summary: Horror book author Victoria McCoy, the new Salem writer-in-residence, knows how to make horror come to life. So Reed is thrilled when McCoy hires her as her new assistant…until she finds out that McCoy’s previous assistants have all disappeared.

Then frightening things start happening to Reed…things straight out of McCoy’s famous horror books.

And McCoy’s next tale of terror has an ending worse than Reed’s worst nightmares.

Initial Thoughts

Apparently Kindle Unlimited doesn’t have #15 Truth or Die, so we’re going to skip straight on to Book of Horrors. I know nothing about this book. I don’t think I’ve read it before, and if I have, I don’t remember a goddamn thing about it.

Randomly, I’m playing 5 Seconds of Summer “Teeth” on repeat while writing this. Not because it has anything to do with the story, I have no idea at this point, but because I sometimes obsess over a song and listen to it for hours, days, weeks at a time. My brain is so much fun. Honestly, this is one of the least terrible things it does to me.

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #255: The Castle by Yoko Matsumoto

Constellations That Sing Of Death Cover by Yoko Matsumoto
Constellations That Sing Of Death Cover by Yoko Matsumoto

Title: The Castle, or The Mansion of Time

Creator: Yoko Matsumoto

Scanner/Translator: Luchs

Editor: Tama-Neko

Summary: A young girl has recurring nightmares about a castle and a woman who tries to kill her. She is sent to stay with relatives in the country for a change of scenery. En route she glimpses a mysterious but vaguely familiar castle surrounded by fog on the other side of the lake. What dark secrets does the castle possess and who was that woman in her nightmares?

Initial Thoughts

I didn’t discuss this one with Wing ahead of time, but I haven’t done a manga recap in a while and this creator’s been a low-key interest for me for a couple of years.

Yoko Matsumoto’s a lesser known creator of horror manga to the point I do not believe any of her works have been officially distributed by English publishers. That’s sad, because she offers something different from the majority of Japanese horror creators I’ve come across. Matsumoto’s stories are rather deceptive for a horror writer. The art style is very shoujo and doesn’t utilize typically exaggerated horror imagery, things such as bulging eyes and grotesque body horror, like what can be found from creators Kanako Inuki, Junji Ito, or Kazuo Umezu.

From what I’ve read of Matsumoto, her stories rely on tragic/cruel irony, sometimes with no real explanation behind the cause of the horrific phenomena. Or maybe I haven’t read enough of her works to properly explain what she’s about.

This was the first tale I’d ever read by her, and it’s initially part of a collection called “Constellations That Sing Of Death.” However, several of the stories printed in her anthology collections have been put online as separate entries. The two translations online refer to this story by different titles.

I decided to do this spur-of-the-moment recap because in a couple of months I’ll be starting a Census job, and with that plus Yankee Stadium and my comic job I have no clue how much time I’ll have for writing. I’ve gotta do what I can while I have the time, space and energy.

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #253: Goosebumps Series 2000 #20: Be Afraid – Be Very Afraid! by R.L. Stine

Be Afraid Be Very Afraid Cover by Tim Jacobus
Be Afraid Be Very Afraid Cover by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps Series 2000 #20 – Be Afraid – Be Very Afraid! a.k.a. “YOU FINISH THE RECAP”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: There’s a new beast on the block…

Summary: The dragon’s wings stretched… stretched like a ship’s sail unfurling… and cut through power lines over the side of the street. Electricity crackled and sparks flew as the lines came down.

I watched, frozen in terror, as the dragon turned its massive body toward my house. It pulled back its head in an angry roar of attack.

“It’s – it’s coming here!” I choked out. “It’s coming after us!”

Initial Thoughts

It’s the beginning of the year and it’s wintertime, which means I’m stepping into the role of recapping another Goosebumps 2000 book thanks to my zeal for seasonal nostalgia.

This is one of the 2000 entries that’s been especially prominent in my thoughts since “Return to Ghost Camp” had a preview for it at its end. The title and summary don’t allude much to the actual plot besides the prominence of dragons, so I’ll explain it’s about a card game that seemingly comes to life as three kids play it. However, the story bizarrely gets rather… meta, near the end, and I can’t tell if Stine is mocking his own writing style or what.

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #252: Choose Your Own Nightmare #1: Night of the Werewolf by Edward Packard

Night of the Werewolf Cover by Bill Schmidt
Night of the Werewolf Cover by Bill Schmidt

Title: Choose Your Own Nightmare #1 – Night of the Werewolf, a.k.a. “The Wacky Witchy Werewolf War”

Author: Edward Packard

Illustrator: Bill Schmidt

Tagline: It’s a full moon… beware of howling beasts!

Summary: Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

Your vacation at your cousins’ house is off to a creepy start. A body – with deep bite marks all over it – has just been found at the local pond.

Is there a werewolf in town?

Even though you’ve been warned to stay away, you and your cousins want to check out the crime scene. Things seem pretty normal. Until you hear branches crashing… and a throaty howl…

What happens next in this bone-chilling story? It all depends on the choices you make. How will your nightmare end? Only you can find out! And the best part is that you can keep reading and rereading, getting new chills and thrills – until not one but all of your worst nightmares have come true!

Give yourself goosebumps… choose your own NIGHTMARE…

Initial Thoughts

It’s the first month of the first year of a new decade, and we’re now forced to admit the 1990s were officially thirty years ago. And I’ll be turning 30 next December…

I’M OLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!!

[Wing: *raises eyebrow* You are the youngest of the regular recappers across Devil’s Elbow and Sweet Valley Online, and possibly all of the Nostalgic Bookshelf collection. Best watch where you step, youngin’.]

To start off the 2020s here at Point Horror, for this first year I want to make it a year of firsts. Each month will feature at least one #1 book from a 90s horror series. I’ll be making an attempt to look at the firsts of series I’ve already offered glimpses into, such as Bone Chillers and Ghosts of Fear Street, and touch on series I’ve never looked at on here such as Choose Your Own Nightmare, Doomsday Mall, P.C. Hawke, and Christopher Pike’s Spooksville. You guys’ll be lucky, because a few of these books I’ve never read until now so it’ll be a learning experience for everyone.

[Wing: I love this book, I love werewolves, I love January’s full moon (it’s my favourite full moon), and I love recapping, and January is my birthday month, so this is a wonderful combination of things. Roll on Wolf Moon.]

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #251: Spinetinglers #16: We Wish You A Scary Christmas by M.T. Coffin

We Wish You A Scary Christmas Cover
We Wish You A Scary Christmas Cover

Title: Spinetinglers #16 – We Wish You A Scary Christmas, a.k.a. “I’ve Got Santa In My Basement”

Author: M.T. Coffin, a.k.a. George Edward Stanley

Cover Artist: ???

Tagline: Not A Creature Was Stirring…

Summary: It’s Every Kid’s Worst Nightmare!

There’s a rumor going around that Santa Claus will not be making his rounds this year… and worse yet, he may be gone forever! Santa Claus is missing… and no one knows where he is.

But somewhere, deep in a dark basement, a figure lies hidden, helplessly held prisoner by some strange people. And if you dare to try and set the prisoner free… beware! You may be spending your Christmas trapped in that same dark basement… with no New Year in sight.

Initial Thoughts

You guys remember the Spinetinglers review I did for last Christmas, the magnificently underrated “Snow Day?” Well I’m following up with the OTHER holiday-related entry in this series. Unlike “Snow Day” this is explicitly about Christmas and it’s not as dark as “Snow Day.” But I know Wing always has some keen observations to make on Santa-related fiction so I’m wondering how she’ll feel about this one. [Wing: Huh, I’ve never felt like I have keen observations about Santa, but I’m well pleased by this compliment. Thank you! And as always, we’re celebrating specific holidays late around here, but that’s just how we roll.]

The drawing point for this novel for me would have to be the empathy the main characters have for their friend.

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #250: Nocturnal Letters by Ms-Bowser

Nocturnal Letters
Nocturnal Letters

Title: Nocturnal Letters, a.k.a. “Night of the Nasty Notes”

Developer/Author: Ms-Bowser

Summary:

A scary/creepy point-and-click adventure game. Very plot-driven. You can almost call it an interactive movie.

Ivy lives with her family in a big house in the forest. Things have been rather strange lately. Help Ivy find out what is wrong, and uncover the awful secret.

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #249: Goosebumps #53: Chicken Chicken by R.L. Stine

Goosebumps: Chicken Chicken Cover by Tim Jacobus
Goosebumps: Chicken Chicken Cover by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps #53 – Chicken Chicken, a.k.a. “The Clucking”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: It’s a finger lickin’ nightmare!

Summary: Don’t Call Them Chicken Legs!

Everyone in Goshen Falls knows about weird Vanessa. She dresses all in black. Wears black lipstick. And puts spells on people. At least, that’s what they say.

Crystal and her brother, Cole, know you can’t believe everything you hear. But that was before they made Vanessa mad. Before she whispered that strange warning, “Chicken Chicken.”

Because now something really weird has happened. Crystal’s lips have turned as hard as a bird’s beak. And Cole has started growing ugly white feathers all over his body…

Initial Thoughts

“Chicken Chicken” is notorious among fans as the absolute worst of the original 62 books, even more so than the “Monster Blood” books. Reading the book as a kid it wasn’t something I picked up on, given I probably sped through it and put it back with my other books. Re-reading it now I can see why this book is so reviled, though I personally think the worst book out of the entire franchise is “Revenge R Us.”

The problem with “Chicken Chicken” is its villain goes completely overboard in her punishment on the main characters  to the point there’s nothing funny or endearing about it. She’s so borderline sadistic it just makes her awful, and it’s especially hard to stomach the treatment main character Crystal gets. What compounds this is Crystal doesn’t do anything wrong.

But don’t take it from me, here’s what Crystal has to say:

I don't clucking believe this
Crystal by Felipe Smith – Considering she’s apparently turning into a rooster, which are biologically male, she’s got every right to be scared.

[Wing: Okay, that’s adorable, but wow, the premise of this book sounds terrible. I did not read it growing up, but I can see why readers at the time hated it. I doubt it is any worse than the Slappy books, personally, but this is pretty weird.]

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #247: Tales For The Midnight Hour by J.B. Stamper Part Two

Tales for the Midnight Hour Original Cover
Tales for the Midnight Hour Original Cover

Title: Tales For The Midnight Hour

Author: Judith Bauer “J.B.” Stamper

Cover Artist: ???

Summary: N/A

Initial Thoughts

My original plan to cover the second half of this book was to have the recap finished during the summer, preferably August to go alongside “Escape from Vampire Park,” and yet again I was delayed. I’m trying to use November as a catch-up month to finish a few things before December so I can focus on more holiday related recaps.

Looking back I have to say I’m more fond of the stories in the book’s first half, and the only story in this section I favor is “Phobia.” Amusingly, the last tale sets up an ongoing theme Stamper reused for the next three collections featuring the same cast of campers even though the stories aren’t connected by anything else. [Wing: Okay, using the same cast is interesting. I look forward to seeing those stories if we can track down copies.]

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Posted in Nightmare Hall recaps

Recap #246: Nightmare Hall 14: The Initiation by Diane Hoh

Cover for Nightmare Hall 14 - The Initiation by Diane HohTitle: Nightmare Hall 14: The Initiation by Diane Hoh

Summary: Joining the Others, a group of outcasts whom she thinks are just lonely students like herself, Salem University freshman Molly Keene realizes that there is something very wrong about the group, but finds there is only one way to leave it.

Initial Thoughts

I’m excited to pick up recapping Nightmare Hall, though I’m not nearly as informed about the history of the books, ghost writers, etc., as Dade was, alas. The Initiation is not one of the Nightmare Hall books I read growing up, and in retrospect, that’s a very good thing, because I hated it, thanks, good times.

Read on to see why, I guess. Or save yourself. Whichever you prefer. Insert evil cackle here.

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Posted in Graveyard School recaps

Recap #245: The Last Graveyard School Recap: #28 – The Spider Beside Her by Tom B. Stone

Graveyard School #28: The Spider Beside Her Cover by Mark Nagata
Graveyard School #28: The Spider Beside Her Cover by Mark Nagata

Title: Graveyard School #28 – “The Spider Beside Her,” a.k.a. “The End”

Author: Tom B. Stone, a.k.a. Nola Thacker, a.k.a. D.E. Athkins

Cover Artist: Mark Nagata

Summary: Along Came A Spider…

And Sat Down Beside Her…

And They Became Friends?

What has eight legs

And spins webs of silk

And sucks up people

Like they were glasses of milk?

Ask Ari Spinner. She likes spiders. They don’t make her scream. They make her smile. She and the spider are best friends. And there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for a best friend.

Is there?

Initial Thoughts

In all seriousness Wing if you really are able to comment on this recap despite your arachnophobia it really means a lot to me. I was able to add two pictures, one of Ari throwing a spider and another, well…

I swear I’ll make it up to you.

[Wing: If this wasn’t my beloved Graveyard School, and the end of it at that, I doubt I’d even try to make it through this, but since it is, I’m giving it a try. I love this series, and I love Jude’s recaps, and I’m sad to say good-bye to this world.]

So.

Here we are.

The last of the Graveyard School books. I’ve been recapping this series for two years and it’s finally come to an end. No more Park. No more Stacey. No more puke perfect Polly Hannah. No more Dr. Morthouse and Basement Bart. No more recollections about Ms. Stoker or the Skeleton on the Skateboard or the Ghost in the Boys’ Bathroom.

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Posted in Graveyard School recaps

Recap #240: Graveyard School Final 2 Countdown: #20 – Creature Teacher by Tom B. Stone

Creature Teacher Cover by Mark Nagata
Creature Teacher Cover by Mark Nagata

Title: Graveyard School #20 – “Creature Teacher,” a.k.a. “The One Where Nola Thacker Apologizes For ‘Let’s Scare The Teacher To Death'”

Author: Tom B. Stone, a.k.a. Nola Thacker, a.k.a. D.E. Athkins

Cover Artist: Mark Nagata

Summary: A for Awesome. B. for Beautiful. C for Cool. D for… DEAD!

She’s so sweet. So nice. So different from the other monstrous teachers at Graveyard School. Everyone likes Ms. King, the substitute teacher. Even Bentley – who doesn’t like any teacher. But one day Bentley discovers something about Ms. King. Something awful. Something scary. And now he might have to stay after school. Forever!

Initial Thoughts

It’s back to school time and we’ve returned to the hallowed halls of Graveyard School after a four month summer break. Here we are with the penultimate “Graveyard School” recap and I’m still not over the departure of Jordie Flanders-DON’T LOOK AT ME.

This is the only other book in the series you could consider a sort of sequel, even though it’s not a direct follow-up to Bent’s previous time as the protagonist. It does deliberately mention the events of “Let’s Scare The Teacher To Death” but not enough to spoil the twist for those who hadn’t read it.

Despite Jordie’s prominent role in the last book, she’s nowhere to be found in here. That sort of makes sense if we’re considering she’s been keeping her distance from Bent and no longer wants anything to do with him. However, Thacker does her best to sort of give Bent… CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. He’s nowhere near as frustrating as he was in book #8, and whether or not this was Thacker consciously realizing he was too unlikable or accidental, I don’t know.

However, this is the only time you could legitimately call Dr. Morthouse the villain of the story. While she’s always lurked as a threatening background presence, she’s never flat out been the direct antagonist before this one.

[Wing: I’M NOT READY FOR THIS TO END. #resurrectgraveyardschool2019]

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Posted in Graveyard School recaps

Recap #237: Graveyard School Final 3 Countdown: #25 – Escape from Vampire Park by Tom B. Stone

Graveyard School #25: Escape from Vampire Park Cover by Mark Nagata
Graveyard School #25: Escape from Vampire Park Cover by Mark Nagata

Title: Graveyard School #25 – Escape from Vampire Park, a.k.a. “#judedelucalovesjordieflandersSHUTUP”

Author: Tom B. Stone, a.k.a. Nola Thacker, a.k.a. D.E. Athkins

Cover Artist: Mark Nagata

Summary: Take A Ride In The Tunnel Of Blood…

Cover your eyes. Scream your brains out. It’s the scariest ride in the whole amusement park. But brave Nathan isn’t afraid. He knows the ride is one big fake. Except now he’s about to find out how the Tunnel of Blood got its name. He’s about to stop laughing and start screaming. Too late, Nate.

The worst ride of your life has just begun.

Initial Thoughts

We’re down to three and the last summer book before we return to the hallowed halls of Graveyard School. But returning after such a long absence is none other than my favorite, Jordie “The Human Computer” Flanders.

Interestingly, as you could tell from the summary Jordie is not the main character. That role’s taken by newbie Nathan, who had never been mentioned as a member of the sixth grade class until now. Yet Jordie is still the one who does most of the investigating into the creepy things at Vampire Park, and Nathan’s targeted mainly because people think he and Jordie are friends. It works in a way because, since Jordie’s the co-protagonist, we get to see someone else react to her Jordie-isms.

Along the way, we also realize (for those of us who know what happened in “Camp Dracula“) that Jeep Holmes and his family are apparently REALLY bad at their jobs.

So join me as we say goodbye to Jordie.

[Wing: I’m not ready for this series to end. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not. But I am excited to see Jordie again.]

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