Posted in Friday the 13th movies, Let's Do It! recaps

Recap #270: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Title: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Summary: A high school senior class trip turns into Murder Party Massacre and ends with Jason taking out his issues on New York City’s sewer system.

Tagline: New York has a new problem (I would argue that in A.D. 2020, NY has a much different problem then a serial mass murderer, but, then again, a virus without a cure is in its own way a serial mass murderer… never mind.)

Notes: I honestly thought the prior installment would break me, what with its super poor handling of mental health. I was wrong. This was the entry that completely broke me and made me so angry.

Initial Thoughts

Virgin’s back! And so soon after the previous installment! I know, I’m shocked, too. But, seeing that we (as of this writing) have been in some sort of lock down / self-isolation / quarantine mode (future readers, this was written in 2020) I don’t have a lot to do other then recap. Yeah, I could do the dishes, probably do some laundry, but I’d rather spend my day with that lovable scamp, Jason Voorhees! [Wing: After this movie, I’m not sure you would, really.] Who, apparently, gets to go on a wild field trip! Being that half the films seem to be centered around New Jersey, and some confusion on whether some are in California, I guess going to the Big Apple makes sense?

Getting Part VII: The New Blood finished and posted (thanks to Wing’s help) on its release date (the thirtytooth anniversary) [Wing: I still cannot believe I did that. Readers who missed it, my tweet about this said “happy 32th anniversary” because I am an idiot. Virgin saved the day with her pronunciation.] injected, well, new blood (I’m sorry) into my quest. Yeah, I’m on the downhill slope here, sliding towards one of the ultimate crossovers in recent cinematic history, and when this installment is done, I will only have four left, two of which are still considered “in franchise” (Jason takes another field trip and X marks the spot?) then we hit the crossover, then finally the reboot. I’m not sure why this series needed to be rebooted but I guess I’ll understand whether or not that was a good idea when we get there.

So! New York City! Everything I know about the Big Apple is either through films from the 70s-80s-90s or TV shows that are “set” there but really filmed in Canada. I can say, with honesty, that it’s never been my desire to go there. Like, I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity but I wouldn’t say it’s in my top ten. Or my top 50, either. Just thinking about the city makes me feel claustrophobic. [Wing: I like NYC, but I would never live there. Even if it were more affordable, the sheer number of people and gigantic buildings is just too much. I love cities, but that one doesn’t work for me. (Also, I will never live east of the Mississippi River again if I have my way.]

This installment dropped July 28th, 1989. Which is not remotely a Friday or the 13th of a month. After the fiasco that was The New Blood, Paramount knew it needed to cover its sins tracks as fast as possible. The wiki tells me this was the most poorly-performing film in the franchise in box office take (uh oh) and people really love or hate it. Sounds like The New Blood all over again. I think, honestly, that could be said of almost ALL the sequels. People either love or hate ’em.

Okay, put on your life vest, it’s time to take a sea cruise with Jason Voorhees! Let’s Do It!

Important note! Remember, I am rolling over the body count from each of the previous films recapped, so that will be reflected in the counter and final tally.

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Posted in Other movies

Recap #268: Chopping Mall (1986)

Social Distance Snarking

Title: Chopping Mall (1986)

Summary: Sexy after-hours party held by employees in a goddamn mall is interrupted by murderous mall security robots. Hi-jinks ensue.

Tagline: Buy or Die  (Well, that’s… succinct.) …Half off is just the beginning! (Oh! It continued on! How… odd. For a tagline.)

Notes: Something tells me this film has become something of a cult classic and will either be very good (bad) or very bad (bad). [JC: Considering whose production company this is, it is going to be campy schlock. Because that’s what he does. (I’m not name-dropping it yet, because bat came to the realization eventually, and I actually cheered when she did.)]

Initial Thoughts

Hi and welcome to “how bat is trying to spend time during social distancing amid a global pandemic” portion of 2020. Seriously, it’s not like I really left the house a lot when there wasn’t a virus plague going around but shit is starting to get to me. It sucks being a empath. I think I need a tinfoil hat because I feel worn out.

But anyway, you’re not here for that. You’re here to read another recap about a horror movie! Distraction, yay! I’ve been looking to find some really bad horror movies that I’ve never seen and so far I’ve found some doozies. Today’s selection is 1986’s Chopping Mall!

So, somehow – this may be a theme(?) – I found another “horror comedy” but this one also has the distinction of being “sci-fi” as well. Unlike My Demon Lover this film seems to know exactly what it is – sci-fi/horror – with a dash of poorly written comedy thrown in because 1986. Er, technically, 1985.

I’ve heard about this film through Twitter and I think it’s been making the rounds on those pay-for subscription horror movie channels – apparently for sure on Shudder right now – but I only like things I have to spend hours trying to track down through moderately nefarious means. This is the age of the internet, you know. Why make it easy for myself?

Just watch the trailer:

Okay, trailer lies. No one broke into the mall. And it gives way too much away. For fun, I’ve invited JC to join me with commentary. This is not just because she confessed to peeking at my post as I was writing it but because I think I mentioned this film quite a while ago and she replied to my tweet about it. Maybe I’m misremembering but anyway. It’s fun to bring a new victim friend along for a recap ride! [JC: I have no memory of a Twitter convo about this, but it’s completely possible. My memory is very unpredictably hit-or-miss when it comes to conversations. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to watch this movie for the last couple of years, ever since I listened to the How Did This Get Made podcast episode about it (which I was going to link, but it is unfortunately behind the paywall right now. Boo.). I never got around to it until bat gave me the incentive with the offer to comment on her recap of it. Which I had peeked at long enough to determine what she was working on next. I mean, it was labeled “[redacted recap]”! How could I resist seeing what it was!] [Wing: I’m pretty sure there was a Twitter convo, because the movie’s been sitting on my list of things to watch so I can comment and up until y’all talked about it, I hadn’t even heard of it. I can’t say I was missing out. Mostly.

Note from the future: Apparently I mixed up two different twitter conversations about movies to recap, so I have rudely inserted myself into this recap, but since I didn’t learn this until after all my comments, well, I’m here! Enjoy surprise!Wing.]

Geez. I guess it’s time to spend an arm and a leg. Let’s go Chopping!

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #267: Goosebumps Series 2000 #19: Return to Ghost Camp by R.L. Stine

Return to Ghost Camp Cover by Tim Jacobus
Return to Ghost Camp Cover by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps Series 2000 #19 – Return to Ghost Camp, a.k.a. “Everybody Loves Ari”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: Another summer. Another spirit.

Summary: A big yellow bus roared to a stop in front of our house.

The bus doors opened.

“Going to Camp Full Moon?” the driver snarled.

I raised my eyes to his face – and screamed.

His face was red and swollen – and covered with fleas. Angry, dark blotches swelled on his forehead – raw, fresh flea bites, dripping with yellow gunk.

Initial Thoughts

Okay so I busted my ass to get this recap done in time for the first full moon of summer, but I regret I didn’t start sooner.

“Return to Ghost Camp” is the second sequel from the Goosebumps Series 2000 books, but unlike “Return to HorrorLand” this is NOT a direct sequel. We’re not returning to Camp Spirit Moon and we don’t find out what’s been happening in the lives of Harry and Alex Altman since “Ghost Camp.” And the protagonist in question, Dustin, is kinda a step down from the chemistry Harry and Alex had. I know, I know, I was disappointed too when I found out after first reading this book. I purchased it knowing nothing about the plot beyond the title.

However, while “Return to Ghost Camp” isn’t as great as its predecessor, it has its own merits. Our big villain is almost as mysterious as the previous antagonists and there’s a lot to interpret from its ending. And I must say Jacobus’ cover is probably one of the best he’s done for the 2000 books, eschewing the delightful humor of the original “Ghost Camp” to give us a rather creepy looking ghost.

[Wing: Camp Full Moon. That cover ghost looks like a partially-transformed werewolf ghost. WELL I HAVE HOPE.]

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #266: Goosebumps #4: Say Cheese And Die! by R.L. Stine

Say Cheese And Die Cover Artwork by Tim Jacobus
Say Cheese And Die Cover Artwork by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps #4 – Say Cheese And Die!, a.k.a. “Greg Banks Won’t Eat His Cereal”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: One picture is worth a thousand screams.

Summary: Every Picture Tells A Story.

Greg thinks there is something wrong with the old camera he and his friends found. The photographs keep turning out wrong. Very wrong. Like the snapshot Greg took of his father’s new car that shows it totaled. And then Greg’s father is in a nasty wreck.

But Greg’s friends don’t believe him. Shari even makes Greg bring the camera to her birthday party and take her picture.

Only Shari’s not in the photograph when it develops.

Is Shari about to be taken out of the picture permanently?

Who is going to take the next fall for…

the evil camera?

Initial Thoughts

It’s time again for another of my childhood faves, and it’s one of the first Goosebumps books I ever bought with my own money.

“Say Cheese And Die!” is one of the original ten, and it’s one of the most well remembered due to Tim Jacobus’ striking cover artwork. I used to own a t-shirt with that image when I was a kid. Apparently, R.L. Stine had to go back and include a sequence in this book based on the cover after it was finished.

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Posted in Friday the 13th movies, Let's Do It! recaps

Recap #264: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Title: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Summary: Tina just wants a “normal” life but when she returns to the scene of a horrific loss, she learns that “normal” is subjective. Oh, and Jason comes back. Again.

Tagline: Jason is back, but this time someone’s waiting! (Well, that sounds ominous…)

Notes: Yeah, this took forever. Sorry. A world-wide pandemic struck, I suffered the loss of my grandmother, there was a trip to Anaheim in there, two trips to visit family in another state (not all in that order), and – just generally – I was sorely unprepared to deal with a film that poorly handles mental health issues.

Initial Thoughts

Hi-ho, Virgin here, back for ROUND SEVEN with my ultimate continually reanimated nemesis, Jason Voorhees! That’s right, it’s time for Let’s Do It! A Virgin Does Horror!

It’s like 4 months into 2019 now it’s now 5 months into 2020, meaning I sort of missed posting this on schedule (like… I’m way off the schedule at this point, oops) but life gets in the way sometimes and I was in no shape to sit through, let alone recap, another Jason & Friends adventure. Things are back to “normal” (not sure that’s the word that describes things around here but whatever) so here I am, tackling the seventh film installment of this SERIES THAT WON’T DIE.

Obviously I know there is an end in sight; I only have five films after this one. Just five! Only five. God help me, five more of these nightmares, and technically one is a crossover and the other is a reboot. Help. [Wing: You’ve got this! Five is nothing. You’ve done way more than five already. I believe in you!]

This film dropped into theaters on May 13th, 1988. I may have gone and found the trailer on YT, because for some reason I could hear, in my head, the voice over narrator saying “the new blood”. My audio memories were pretty close. I didn’t watch the trailer, I just skipped ahead. Believe me, for all the awful stuff I’ve heard about this entry, I don’t want to spoil my misery!

ANYWAY. Although I was much more aware of films in general at this point (I would have turned 7 roughly a week ahead of this film’s release) I can’t tell you why I remember that tagline. I would say it was probably played on television, I probably heard it and desperately tried to ignore it (I was a horror wuss at that time in my life) but I could also be imagining it.

Glancing at the wiki article, it seems as though this was originally intended to be the crossover with Nightmare on Elm Street but negotiations fell through and the meet cute between Jason and Freddie did not happen for another fifteen years. Huh. Part of me still wonders if I need to stop and start watching THAT franchise between I get to the crossover film. Hm. Wing, thoughts?

Yeah, I have never seen Nightmare on Elm Street. (Or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Or Hellraiser. It would be easier to write a list of what I have seen, tbh.) I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m a horror virgin.

I love that the working title during filming was “Birthday Bash”. Now that’s a movie I wish I was watching. At least it’s a lot more interesting in my imagination then I’m sure this will be. Okay, let’s just get on with this before my pessimism ruins the fun.

Let’s Do It, Jason! (You have failed to come and save me from all this, Kevin Bacon, damn it! Some great American hero you are! STAR-LORD LIED!!)

Important note! Remember, I am rolling over the body count from each of the previous films recapped, so that will be reflected in the counter and final tally.

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #262: Goosebumps #1: Welcome to Dead House by R.L. Stine

Welcome to Dead House Cover by Tim Jacobus
Welcome to Dead House Cover by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps #1 – “Welcome to Dead House” a.k.a. “They’re Coming To Get You, Amanda!”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: It will just kill you.

Summary: Look Alive!

Amanda and Josh think they old house they have just moved into is weird. Spooky. Possibly haunted. And the town of Dark Falls is pretty strange, too.

But their parents don’t believe them. You’ll get used to it, they say. Go out and make some new friends.

So Amanda and Josh do. But these new friends are not exactly what their parents had in mind.

Because they want to be friends…

forever.

Initial Thoughts

This is one recap I definitely have the energy for, because this is where it all began. The very first Goosebumps book by R.L. Stine, commissioned back when Scholastic didn’t believe the series would sell enough. Boy were they wrong! [Wing: Stine did an excellent job of creating stories people love even now and reaching kids with horror, and I love that, no matter how strong our feud.]

As the beginning of the franchise, “Welcome to Dead House” gives us a look at how Stine originally established many of the tropes he’s run into the ground over the last three decades, but before he exaggerated the shit out of them. Our main character and narrator, Amanda Benson, is a girl dealing with her bratty brother Josh and her parents not believing them about the weird shit going on in their new home.

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Posted in Fear Street Recaps

Recap #261: Fear Street #44: The Rich Girl by R.L. Stine

The Rich Girl Cover by Bill Schmidt
The Rich Girl Cover by Bill Schmidt

Title: Fear Street #44 – The Rich Girl, a.k.a. “Capitalism Stinks!”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Bill Schmidt

Tagline: Would you kill to be rich?

Summary: Whom can you trust?

Emma Naylor and her best friend Sydney Shue always share their secrets. And now they have a big one. They found a duffel bag stuffed with money.

They swore never to tell anyone. But Sydney broke her promise. She told her boyfriend, Jason, about the money.

Now Emma is terrified. She doesn’t trust Jason – and she thinks he would do anything to get the money for himself. Even kill…

Initial Thoughts

It’s finally spring, which means it’s time to think green. And what could be greener than money!

Money, the root of all evil and the root of this later entry Fear Street book. “The Rich Girl” was one of the earliest Fear Street books I can remember purchasing and a point of small interest for me over the years. As of this recap, it’s the first time I’ve re-read the book from beginning to end since middle school.

Despite what the summary says, Emma’s best friend Sydney is technically the main character since most of the action is happening from her point-of-view. The implications of this book are definitely rather uncomfortable to think about and there’s a lot of ableism going on near the end. Sorry, Wing.

[Wing: Eh, I’m never surprised by that around here. Also, no matter how many times I see that tagline, I first read it as “Would it kill you to be rich?”]

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Posted in Nightmare Hall recaps

Recap #258: Nightmare Hall #16: Book of Horrors by Diane Hoh

cover of Nightmare Hall Book of Horrors by Diane HohTitle: Nightmare Hall 16: Book of Horrors by Diane Hoh

Summary: Horror book author Victoria McCoy, the new Salem writer-in-residence, knows how to make horror come to life. So Reed is thrilled when McCoy hires her as her new assistant…until she finds out that McCoy’s previous assistants have all disappeared.

Then frightening things start happening to Reed…things straight out of McCoy’s famous horror books.

And McCoy’s next tale of terror has an ending worse than Reed’s worst nightmares.

Initial Thoughts

Apparently Kindle Unlimited doesn’t have #15 Truth or Die, so we’re going to skip straight on to Book of Horrors. I know nothing about this book. I don’t think I’ve read it before, and if I have, I don’t remember a goddamn thing about it.

Randomly, I’m playing 5 Seconds of Summer “Teeth” on repeat while writing this. Not because it has anything to do with the story, I have no idea at this point, but because I sometimes obsess over a song and listen to it for hours, days, weeks at a time. My brain is so much fun. Honestly, this is one of the least terrible things it does to me.

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #253: Goosebumps Series 2000 #20: Be Afraid – Be Very Afraid! by R.L. Stine

Be Afraid Be Very Afraid Cover by Tim Jacobus
Be Afraid Be Very Afraid Cover by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps Series 2000 #20 – Be Afraid – Be Very Afraid! a.k.a. “YOU FINISH THE RECAP”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: There’s a new beast on the block…

Summary: The dragon’s wings stretched… stretched like a ship’s sail unfurling… and cut through power lines over the side of the street. Electricity crackled and sparks flew as the lines came down.

I watched, frozen in terror, as the dragon turned its massive body toward my house. It pulled back its head in an angry roar of attack.

“It’s – it’s coming here!” I choked out. “It’s coming after us!”

Initial Thoughts

It’s the beginning of the year and it’s wintertime, which means I’m stepping into the role of recapping another Goosebumps 2000 book thanks to my zeal for seasonal nostalgia.

This is one of the 2000 entries that’s been especially prominent in my thoughts since “Return to Ghost Camp” had a preview for it at its end. The title and summary don’t allude much to the actual plot besides the prominence of dragons, so I’ll explain it’s about a card game that seemingly comes to life as three kids play it. However, the story bizarrely gets rather… meta, near the end, and I can’t tell if Stine is mocking his own writing style or what.

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #252: Choose Your Own Nightmare #1: Night of the Werewolf by Edward Packard

Night of the Werewolf Cover by Bill Schmidt
Night of the Werewolf Cover by Bill Schmidt

Title: Choose Your Own Nightmare #1 – Night of the Werewolf, a.k.a. “The Wacky Witchy Werewolf War”

Author: Edward Packard

Illustrator: Bill Schmidt

Tagline: It’s a full moon… beware of howling beasts!

Summary: Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

Your vacation at your cousins’ house is off to a creepy start. A body – with deep bite marks all over it – has just been found at the local pond.

Is there a werewolf in town?

Even though you’ve been warned to stay away, you and your cousins want to check out the crime scene. Things seem pretty normal. Until you hear branches crashing… and a throaty howl…

What happens next in this bone-chilling story? It all depends on the choices you make. How will your nightmare end? Only you can find out! And the best part is that you can keep reading and rereading, getting new chills and thrills – until not one but all of your worst nightmares have come true!

Give yourself goosebumps… choose your own NIGHTMARE…

Initial Thoughts

It’s the first month of the first year of a new decade, and we’re now forced to admit the 1990s were officially thirty years ago. And I’ll be turning 30 next December…

I’M OLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!!

[Wing: *raises eyebrow* You are the youngest of the regular recappers across Devil’s Elbow and Sweet Valley Online, and possibly all of the Nostalgic Bookshelf collection. Best watch where you step, youngin’.]

To start off the 2020s here at Point Horror, for this first year I want to make it a year of firsts. Each month will feature at least one #1 book from a 90s horror series. I’ll be making an attempt to look at the firsts of series I’ve already offered glimpses into, such as Bone Chillers and Ghosts of Fear Street, and touch on series I’ve never looked at on here such as Choose Your Own Nightmare, Doomsday Mall, P.C. Hawke, and Christopher Pike’s Spooksville. You guys’ll be lucky, because a few of these books I’ve never read until now so it’ll be a learning experience for everyone.

[Wing: I love this book, I love werewolves, I love January’s full moon (it’s my favourite full moon), and I love recapping, and January is my birthday month, so this is a wonderful combination of things. Roll on Wolf Moon.]

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #250: Nocturnal Letters by Ms-Bowser

Nocturnal Letters
Nocturnal Letters

Title: Nocturnal Letters, a.k.a. “Night of the Nasty Notes”

Developer/Author: Ms-Bowser

Summary:

A scary/creepy point-and-click adventure game. Very plot-driven. You can almost call it an interactive movie.

Ivy lives with her family in a big house in the forest. Things have been rather strange lately. Help Ivy find out what is wrong, and uncover the awful secret.

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #248: Christmas Terror Tales by Kevin Folliard and J.T. Molloy

Christmas Terror Tales Cover by J.T. Molloy
Christmas Terror Tales Cover by J.T. Molloy

Title: Christmas Terror Tales

Author: Kevin Folliard

Artist: J.T. Molloy

Tagline: Stories To Enjoy From October Through December

Summary: You’d Better Watch Out…

Sixteen gripping tales inspired by classical horror and urban legends twist holiday themes into chilling cautionary tales.

A mischievous snowman frames the children who built him for its mistakes. A haughty priest offers shelter to a hideous monster posing as an orphan. A father brings home a cursed Christmas tree resulting in a terrifying haunting experience for his family.

From October through December these stories of devils, spirits, murderers, monsters, and surprise twists will fascinate children and their parents.

Initial Thoughts

I won’t say I do this often, but I’ve enjoyed perusing through the self-published YA horror selections offered through Amazon and have order a few digital and printed editions. I stumbled upon this book at some point last year and because the collection isn’t that long I decided to recap the tales for Point Horror. It sucks the summary spoils a couple but the illustrations are cool and some of the stories are a bit ingenious.

I’m looking forward to this more than I was to finish “Tales for the Midnight Hour.”

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Posted in Snark at the Moon! recaps

Recap #241: Skinwalkers (2006)

Skinwalkers coverTitle: Skinwalkers (2006)

Summary: A 12 year old boy and his mother become the targets of two warring werewolf packs, each with different intentions and motives. [Wing: Man, that is a boring summary, if truthful.] [bat: It’s pretty… lame.]

Tagline: For them to live, we must die. OR They hunt us. [Wing: The first one is better. Sort of. It’s still a lie, though. They don’t have to kill us, they simply choose to. Some of them, at least.]

Initial Thoughts

I’ve watched this before, but not for many years, and I’ve forgotten pretty much everything that happens during it. I don’t even remember all the characters, so this will almost be a brand-new experience for me.

[bat: I’ve never seen this. I vaguely remember it being released; I have a weird penchant for knowing all kinds of things about films but never actually seeing them. But I don’t know if it was because I think of “skinwalkers” as being something different in the supernatural sense from werewolves, if that was the reason I passed on it, or if it was because it just didn’t sound good. Oh well, watching it now!]

And of course, this is my favourite time of year. Roll on Snark at the Moon 2019 and welcome to the Hunters’ Moon!

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #239: Goosebumps #16: One Day at HorrorLand by R.L. Stine

One Day at HorrorLand Cover by Tim Jacobus
One Day at HorrorLand Cover by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps #16 – “One Day at HorrorLand,” a.k.a “TW: Pinching”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: Enter, if you dare…

Summary: The Next Ride Might Be Their Last…

Lizzy’s family got lost trying to find Zoo Gardens Theme Park. But that’s okay. They found another theme park instead.

In HorrorLand there are no crowds. No lines. And the admission is free. It seems like a pretty cool place.

But there was before Lizzy’s heart-stopping ride on the deadly Doom Slide. And that terrifying experience in the House of Mirrors.

Because there’s something weird about the rides in HorrorLand.

Something a little too creepy.

A little too real…

Initial Thoughts

I started the draft for this recap TWO YEARS AGO when I first began writing for Point Horror. I never finished it because there never seemed to be an appropriate time for it, until now with the amusement park and vampire theme I tried to set up for August.

Wing because I know you better now I have to warn you there’s mention of spiders near the end of the book.

This has been one of my favorite books in the original series for as long as I can remember, because I love the concept of HorrorLand. I love it when Stine tries to establish there’s an entire world in his books even though it’s unlikely they’ll be visited again, because it leaves me wanting more. Surprisingly, this book has received a lot of attention over the years. It got a sequel in the 2000 series, a two-episode TV adaption, a board game, a computer game sequel, a graphic novel adaption by JILL FREAKING THOMPSON, a video game adaptation for the PS2 and the Nintendo Wii, AND an entire spin-off series (which was admittedly lackluster). [Wing: Well damn, that’s a lot! I don’t think I’ve read/seen/played this one before, so this should be fun.]

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Posted in Graveyard School recaps

Recap #237: Graveyard School Final 3 Countdown: #25 – Escape from Vampire Park by Tom B. Stone

Graveyard School #25: Escape from Vampire Park Cover by Mark Nagata
Graveyard School #25: Escape from Vampire Park Cover by Mark Nagata

Title: Graveyard School #25 – Escape from Vampire Park, a.k.a. “#judedelucalovesjordieflandersSHUTUP”

Author: Tom B. Stone, a.k.a. Nola Thacker, a.k.a. D.E. Athkins

Cover Artist: Mark Nagata

Summary: Take A Ride In The Tunnel Of Blood…

Cover your eyes. Scream your brains out. It’s the scariest ride in the whole amusement park. But brave Nathan isn’t afraid. He knows the ride is one big fake. Except now he’s about to find out how the Tunnel of Blood got its name. He’s about to stop laughing and start screaming. Too late, Nate.

The worst ride of your life has just begun.

Initial Thoughts

We’re down to three and the last summer book before we return to the hallowed halls of Graveyard School. But returning after such a long absence is none other than my favorite, Jordie “The Human Computer” Flanders.

Interestingly, as you could tell from the summary Jordie is not the main character. That role’s taken by newbie Nathan, who had never been mentioned as a member of the sixth grade class until now. Yet Jordie is still the one who does most of the investigating into the creepy things at Vampire Park, and Nathan’s targeted mainly because people think he and Jordie are friends. It works in a way because, since Jordie’s the co-protagonist, we get to see someone else react to her Jordie-isms.

Along the way, we also realize (for those of us who know what happened in “Camp Dracula“) that Jeep Holmes and his family are apparently REALLY bad at their jobs.

So join me as we say goodbye to Jordie.

[Wing: I’m not ready for this series to end. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not. But I am excited to see Jordie again.]

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #235: Goosebumps Series 2000 #8: Fright Camp by R.L. Stine

Fright Camp Cover by Tim Jacobus
Fright Camp Cover by Tim Jacobus

Title: Goosebumps Series 2000 #8 – “Fright Camp,” a.k.a. “Return of the Go-carts from the Evil Kingdom!”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Cover Tagline: Where the wild things are… out of control!

Ad Tagline: You’re not going to play baseball.

You’re not going to go swimming.

You’re going to get scared!

Summary:

I lowered my head and started to swim slowly, steadily out to the white, floating platform. I was four or five strokes away from it when I felt something wrap around my ankle.

At first, I thought it was a piece of seaweed.

But then I felt it grip me. I thrashed the water with both hands.

“Let go-!”

But the hard, bony hand held on, tugging me, tugging me underwater.

Initial Thoughts

So for this summer I picked one GYG book, a G2000 book, and an original Goosebumps book to review alongside the Graveyard School recaps.

I wouldn’t say “Fright Camp” is one of my favorites but I’m definitely fond of it. It’s one of the oldest of the 2000 books I own, which I acquired from a friend of my brother’s way back when we still lived in the basement apartment of the house.

I enjoy “Fright Camp” for the same reason I enjoy “Shocker on Shock Street” and “One Day at Horrorland,” the world building. There are a number of horror movies mentioned in this book and they’re all fucking ridiculous and I love them all.

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Posted in Graveyard School recaps

Recap #234: Graveyard School Final Four Countdown: #24 – Scream Around The Campfire by Tom B. Stone

Scream Around the Campfire Cover by Mark Nagata
Scream Around the Campfire Cover by Mark Nagata

Title: Graveyard School #24 – Scream Around The Campfire, a.k.a. “I Heard The Bigfoot Call My Name”

Author: Tom B. Stone, a.k.a. Nola Thacker, a.k.a. D.E. Athkins

Cover Artist: Mark Nagata

Summary: Who Is The Happy Camper From The Dark Side?

Alex wishes he had stayed home this summer. He hates camp. He hates the goofy songs. He hates the gross food. But most of all, he hates the creepy campfire stories. Is he the only one who notices that they’ve been coming true? And will he be able to stop whoever it is before he becomes just another marshmallow on the campfire of life?

Initial Thoughts

Four, repeat, we are down to FOUR books left before the series is over and we are once again leaving the confines of Grove Hill. This is the second of the two summer camp books and Thacker manages to avoid doing a total retread of “Camp Dracula.”

When I first heard of this particular entry back in 2004, my interest got peaked at the discovery the main character was none other than Alex Lee. Alex being the protagonist of the first “Graveyard School” book I read, I was eager to see what he would do in his next protagonist role. However, upon reading said book for the first time…

Guys I gotta level with you, this book is rather strange. Mainly, it’s the reveal behind what is causing the different campfire stories to come to life. But Thacker also includes a couple of unique ghost stories shared by the campers, although we see a retread of the infamous “Hook” urban legend.

At the very least, one thing to enjoy is the return of Alex’s pragmatic moral backbone and how he doesn’t strive to be some perfect angel yet is openly disgusted when other people are being hurt.

Also, the supporting character is named Garth which I fucking love because one of my favorite comic characters of all time is named Garth.

[Wing: No idea how the book is going to come across, but I love that book blurb up there. It sounds GREAT and makes me want to go to summer camp again.]

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #225: Give Yourself Goosebumps Special Edition #8: Weekend at Poison Lake by R.L. Stine

Weekend at Poison Lake Cover by Craig White
Weekend at Poison Lake Cover by Craig White

Title: Give Yourself Goosebumps Special Edition #8 – Weekend at Poison Lake, a.k.a. “Aliens and Jewel Thieves and Moss-Men OH MY!”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Craig White

Summary: Come On In – The Water’s Slime!

It’s the weekend and your family’s vacationing at an awesome lake. The water’s cool, clear and downright deadly!

Rumor has it this lake is filled with poison! Or are those aliens? And what’s that nasty smell? Better pick a lucky number to help you out, or this nature trip could really go wild! If you pick the right number you’ll be chillin’ on the beach without a care. But if your number’s unlucky, you’ll come face-to-face with evil jewel hunters, ice-cream-craving aliens, and all sorts of freaky wildlife!

The choice is yours in this scary GOOSEBUMPS adventure that’s packed with over 20 super-spooky endings!

Initial Thoughts

Since “Chicken Chicken” hasn’t been finished yet that means two Goosebumps recaps as well as two Graveyard School recaps this month. This is going with June’s water theme.

“Poison Lake” was the last of the GYG Special Edition books and from what I’ve read it’s one of the most loathed. I can sort of understand why yet I do love this one.

THE BAD: The whole “Lucky Number” shtick this book employs is extremely frustrating in figuring out a proper path to take. See, the numbers aren’t really “Lucky” because you’re just as likely to die from using the number to determine a choice than if you’d voted not to use it at all. And yet when you get the bad endings from not using the number, the book mocks you for it. Hell, it’ll mock you even if it doesn’t immediately lead to death by asking why you don’t want to utilize it.

THE GOOD: The four stories Stine’s crafted are incredibly endearing, and are totally independent of one another. Once you pick a path, you’re stuck on it. Which actually made recapping this much easier. My favorites are “The Missing Jewels” story and “The Moss-Man” story, the former because of the presence of competent adults and the latter because Stine’s able to create real tension and a dreamy atmosphere similar to “The Ghost Next Door.”

Also I love the monster on the cover despite its lack of appearance in the actual stories.

Poison Lake Monster by Jesus Marquez
Poison Lake Monster by Jesus Marquez

THE OTHER BAD: We get a return performance of, UGH, Jude as the main character. God he sucks.

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Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #221: Detective Comics #49: Clayface Walks Again!

Detective_Comics_49
Detective Comics 49 Cover

Title: Detective Comics #49 – “Clayface Walks Again!”

Writer: Bill Finger

Penciller: Bob Kane

Inkers: Bob Kane, Jerry Robinson, George Roussos

Letterer: George Roussos

Editor: Whitney Ellsworth

Initial Thoughts

Last year I reviewed Detective Comics #40 as part of my attempt to freshen the air in May since I spent all of April 2018 talking about my best friend’s death in my recaps.

Honestly I’m still not sure it did much to help.

Anyway, I figured it’d make since to review the follow-up story in May 2019.

Detective Comics #40 was the debut of Basil Karlo, the first Batman villain to call himself Clayface. Rather than being a shapeshifter as most people know the later Clayfaces to be, Karlo was a famous horror actor driven over the edge when one of his old movies was being remade and he wasn’t asked to star in it. Donning the guise of Clayface, one of his previous characters, Karlo tried to kill off the cast of the remake but was stopped by Batman and Robin.

I mentioned Karlo has all the earmarks of a prototypical slasher movie killer, so it’s especially fitting the follow-up story feels like a typical slasher sequel. Karlo’s back and out for revenge against the people who thwarted him, Batman and Robin. He also wants to kill Julie Madison, the actress who survived his previous killing spree and thus serves the role of the prototypical Final Girl. Out of all the Batman love interests, Julie’s remained my favorite and it’s disappointing this story was her final appearance in the Golden Age Batman stories.

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Posted in Goosebumps Recaps

Recap #203: Goosebumps #61: I Live In Your Basement! by R.L. Stine

It’s Very David Lynch

Title: Goosebumps #61 – I Live In Your Basement! a.k.a. “Egg Yolkeo’s Revenge”

Author: R.L. Stine

Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus

Tagline: Talk about a MONSTER nightmare!

Summary: He’s Got The Basement Blues!

“Don’t do this! Watch out for that!” Marco’s mom thinks the whole world is a danger zone. She won’t even let Marco play softball.

But Marco just wants to have fun. So he sneaks off to a game. And that’s when it happens. He gets hit in the head with a baseball bat.

Now things are getting really fuzzy. Really scary. Because when Marco gets home he gets the strangest call. From someone who says he lives in Marco’s basement…

Initial Thoughts

I promised someone on tumblr I would do a recap of this book come November. I just hope they’re still on the site after tumblr deleted all those blogs. INCLUDING MINE.

(UPDATE: My blog has been restored, although who knows what’ll happen after December 17th.)

This is one of most diverse entries in the original series, and serves as the penultimate volume before #62 and the end of the run. Troy Steele on “Blogger Beware” claimed this, alongside the two that preceded it (Werewolf Skin, The Haunted School) felt like last minute strokes of genius for Stine. And I agree with him.

Of course, I kind of wish Stine had saved some of that genius for “Monster Blood IV” which is such a clusterfuck.

“I Live In Your Basement” is bizarre, confusing, and rather endearing. It depends upon a more primal fear yet at the same time a rather unexpected fear. This idea that there is a total stranger living inside your home but you have no way to prove it. Coupled with the fact the main character is having a hard time keeping track of what’s real and what’s not due to the aforementioned stranger and his head injury.

BUT DON’T WORRY this isn’t a split personality thing.

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