Posted in Nightmares Recaps

Recap #31: Home Before Dark by Beverly Hastings

Home Before Dark by Beverley Hastings
Home Before Dark by Beverley Hastings

Title: Home Before Dark by Beverly Hastings

Summary: HURRY HOME…
“This isn’t the way to my house,” she said, with uncertainty in her voice.

“Yes, it is,” he reassured her. Already his heart was thumping a little faster in anticipation.

“It’s getting late,” she told him. “I’m supposed to be home before dark.”

She felt his heavy forearm across his throat. She screamed, but he just laughed.

At first, a year in Ohio with her aunt and uncle seems like a jail sentence to teenager Sara Langdon – after all, she’s from sunny L.A. The kids accept her with no problems, though, and she soon starts dating the captain of the football team. Then terror strikes, as a killer begins stalking high-school girls.

Tagline: No one is safe when the sun goes down…

Note: As Dove requested, I’ve updated my template, because we now apparently call the Bad Guys Muffin Man. Hey, it makes as much sense as most Point Horrors.

Initial Thoughts: 

I’ve never read it before. I didn’t know much about it, though when I chose it, Dove warned me that it was about rape, at the same time she warned me about the good times I’d have with Help Wanted.

This recap is a little different. For one thing, there will be no counters. I tried to add them in after I wrote the first draft, but they felt frivolous and distracting from the main point, which is: this book is at times a pointed commentary on rape culture, and the recap expands on that theme. A lot. Nearly 16,000 words worth of a lot. This is a recap of Home Before Dark. It points out all the things we love and hate about Point Horrors and its ilk, as always. But Home Before Dark actually handles the rape aspect fairly well, and certainly better than Help Wanted did. This is more than a recap.

The timing on this is important as well. Rape is in the news in the USA because Brock Turner, a convicted rapist, was given six months in the Stanford rape case. SIX FUCKING MONTHS. Judge Aaron Persky gave him a lenient sentence because, and I fucking quote, “a prison sentence would have a severe impact on him.”

Let that sink in. A prison sentence, as punishment for a crime he has fucking been convicted for months ago, would have a severe impact on him. The criminal. Who cares about the impact on the survivor, right?

This is rape culture. We live in rape culture. It is constantly stewing all around us. Slut shaming. Victim blaming. It mixes with racism and white supremacy. Letting white rapists off because punishment will hurt them, and they were just drunk, and boys will be boys. Punishing black rapists because they are thugs and dangerous and We Must Save the White Women From Dangerous Black Men. Asking girls and women what they did to not be raped, how much they fought, but didn’t you really like it a little. She was asking for it. Look at what she was wearing. She was drunk, it’s her fault versus he was drunk, it’s not his fault.

The most shocking part of all of this actually isn’t that he got six months, and will likely be out in three. It is that he was charged and found guilty and sentenced at all. It is that the media covered it at all. Most rapes go unreported, or if they are reported, they aren’t investigated, or if they are investigated, no one is ever charged, or if they are charged, they are not convicted. Most rapes do not receive media coverage, particularly if it involves women of color, queer women, queer women of color, men as the victims — rape is endemic to our society.

So yeah. We often get serious around here, but this even more serious than usual, even more of a social commentary than usual, even more a shout of rage than usual. I am Wing, and I am a rape survivor, and I am angry.

[Dove: I can’t remember who said it, but I’ve seen it going around the internet: rape and crimes of that ilk are the only ones where the victim gets questioned so thoroughly. The example they gave is that when someone says, “I’ve been robbed, someone’s nicked my TV,” nobody replies with, “Oh. Are you sure you didn’t just give the TV away?”

Additionally, I find it particularly distasteful that his father referred to the rape of an unconscious non-consenting woman as “20 minutes of action”, which, no matter what his intention was regarding word choice, reads to me as “Look, he had a crap shag, and he’s off his food, pity him.” Actually, I find it utterly disgraceful that his father was trying to defend his actions in any way, shape or form. The wording just made it worse.

Obviously, given the subject matter, there probably won’t be much flippant goofing off in this recap. So my comments may be sparse.]

[Wing: Dove makes a great point. And not only has his father spoken out in his defense, so have his friends. I say this later in the recap, and I say it extensively, but to sum it up here: I can almost guarantee that (a) you know someone who is a rape survivor, and (b) you know someone who is a fucking rapist, no matter how nice or kind or good you think that person is.]

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #29: The Baby-Sitter IV by R. L. Stine

The Baby-Sitter IV by R. L. Stine
The Baby-Sitter IV by R. L. Stine

Title: The Baby-Sitter IV by R. L. Stine

Summary: Jenny is recovering from her horrifying experiences of baby-sitting. Now she’s in a new house. In a new neighbourhood. And Jenny has sworn never to baby-sit again. But then Jenny’s new neighbour has a crisis and begs Jenny to baby-sit…

Poor Jenny. She should have said “no”. Because someone is watching Jenny again.

Someone who hates baby-sitters. Someone who wants her…dead

Tagline: New neighbourhood…new nightmare.

Note: As Dove requested, I’ve updated my template, because we now apparently call the Bad Guys Muffin Man. Hey, it makes as much sense as most Point Horrors.

The Baby-Sitter III by R L Stine - Scan by Mimi
The Baby-Sitter III by R L Stine – Scan by Mimi

Initial Thoughts: My takeaway from the summary is that they’ve completely given up at this point and do not even care that the same story keeps happening to Jenny over and over and over again. Why is she dumb enough to keep baby-sitting? Why would anyone want her to baby-sit anymore? I’ve never read this book before, and already I hate it.

Also, this is the book where Dove thinks Jenny is an alien based on the cover. I can’t actually disagree with her after looking at it. [Dove: look at the cover!  That’s an alien. Sidenote: Despite your Stine feud, I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE the Goosebumps movie with Jack Black. Thought this seemed like a good a place as any to mention it.]

[Wing: Up until this book, my Stine feud was actually mostly friendly and though I had issues with some of his writing, I thought he was pretty charming and delightful when I’ve heard him speak, but I am legitimately furious over this one. Still, the Goosebumps movie is on my Netflix queue.] (more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #28: The Baby-Sitter III by R.L. Stine

The Baby-Sitter III by R. L. Stine
The Baby-Sitter III by R. L. Stine

Title: The Baby-Sitter III by R. L. Stine

Summary: The third in R L Stine’s terrifying BABY-SITTER trilogy

Bad Company…

Jenny is desperate to forget Mr Hagen – the maniac who terrorized baby-sitters, including her.

Even when she goes to stay with her cousin Debra for the summer, she is still plagued by the same nightmares. Because Debra is a baby-sitter too, and now she’s getting terrifying phone calls, just like the ones Jenny used to get…

“Hi Babes. I’m back. Company’s coming…”

But Mr Hagen’s dead now, isn’t he…?

Tagline: He still wants her… alive or dead.

Note: As Dove requested, I’ve updated my template, because we now apparently call the Bad Guys Muffin Man. Hey, it makes as much sense as most Point Horrors.

The Baby-Sitter III by R L Stine - Scan by Mimi
The Baby-Sitter III by R L Stine – Scan by Mimi

Initial Thoughts: I’ve never read it before, but based on book one and book two, I am in for a miserable ride. Thank fuck you all are strapped in next to me, and we’re speeding too fast down this twisty road, at night, in the rain, for you to be able to leap free.

… That metaphor might have gotten away from me, but you won’t.

(Oh dear god, this feud is breaking my brain. Damn you, Stine. Damn you!)

[Dove: My initial thoughts? Wing is going to explode and you guys will see the resulting mushroom cloud, no matter where you are in the universe.

Also: Who the buggery puts a bassinet right behind the front door?]

[Wing: Surely that’s supposed to be the door into the baby’s room?]

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #25: 13 Tales of Horror Part Four

13 Tales of Horror
13 Tales of Horror

Title: 13 Tales of Horror edited by T Pines

Summary: Can you face your worst nightmare? These thirteen horror stories guarantee to chill you to the bone. Read about the mysterious Black Walker and discover his grim secret. Shiver in fevered anticipation as Mark enters the House of Horrors, perhaps for the last time… And uncover the truth of the murder who leaves a message on his victim’s computers before he leaps in for the kill. Each take draws you further into a web of horror exquisitely woven by thirteen master storytellers. Prepare to be terrified!

Tagline: No tagline.

Note: As Dove requested, I’ve updated my template, because we now apparently call the Bad Guys Muffin Man. Hey, it makes as much sense as most Point Horrors.

Initial Thoughts:

I’ve never read this before, and we’ve never recapped a short story collection. I guess each story will be its own mini-recap, plus its own counter totals and final thoughts. I’m splitting these into a couple different posts, though, because in just the first three stories, I was already approaching 6000 words. No way do I want to subject you guys to 50k of snark in one post.

If the editor’s introduction is anything to go by, we are in for a world of pain.

We are, shall we say, thrilled to “death” that you’ve decided to join us on this trip into darkness. Ask any vampire, it’s so much easier to see once your eyes have become adjusted to the dark, and we have so much to show you….

This anthology is a compilation of the best horror writers of the young-adult thriller genre. With the overall success of horror novels and “thrillers,” it was just a matter of time before this book became a reality.

What we have here is true horror: everyday occurrences gone awry. The supernatural is frightening, what with ghosts, zombies, witches, and ghouls. But when you discover that your best friend has a nasty habit of doing away with the people he or she no longer likes – that is horror.

We read horror because we like to be frightened. It is a way to delve into other people’s fears and feelings, knowing all the while that if it gets too scary we can always close the book. But what happens when we can’t close the book? That is horror.

The authors who have contributed to this anthology have mastered the art of conveying horror through the written word. In Christopher Pike’s “Collect Call,” the going rate is a little too costly – it will make you think twice before accepting the charges. Patricia Windsor’s “A Little Taste of Death” is a compelling tale explaining why your parents told you never to take sweets from strangers. R. L. Stine spins a story of a self-defeated young man who decides to let his hypnotic gate help erase his problems… but it gets a little out of hand. Similarly, Ellen Emerson White tells of an average girl in a quiet New England town, neither of which are what they appear to be.

So sit back and relax. Don’t worry, that creaking noise you hear is only the house settling, and that soft fluttering noise is nothing more than the turning of the pages of this book. And those footsteps…

–T. Pines

Everything is going to hurt, and nothing will be good. Deep breath, grab your alcohol, and let’s do this. This is, of course, the fourth and final part. First part can be found here. Second part can be found here. Third part can be found here.

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #27: Haunting Christmas Tales – Part One

Haunting Christmas Tales by Various
Haunting Christmas Tales by Various

Title: Haunting Christmas Tales by Various

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve and a group of friends have gathered round a fireside in a remote cottage. As a hushed anticipation falls over the group, the only sound is the hiss of logs on the fire.

Safe inside, where surely nothing can harm them, the friends begin to tell tales eerie stories of restless spirits eternally condemned to walk the earth, stories that will haunt you long after you have closed the covers of this book.

Tagline: Disappointingly, there is none.

Notes: No Bad Guys or Muffin Men to be seen.

Initial Thoughts:

I have never read this before, but who doesn’t love a nice ghost story? Especially at Christmas.

Since this isn’t a full story, but nine short stories, I’m going to switch up the recap format. There will be no counters in here. And I’m going to rate each story from one to five (bad to good). This rating will be based purely on how much enjoyment I got from the story. Therefore, if I rate something five, I don’t believe it should win Book of the Year, it just means that, comparatively, this was a fun read for the genre.

[Wing: Fail, Dove. I include counters where I can.

I love good ghost stories all the time. We’ll see if these live up to that. I did expect more of a set-up of the frame story, the friends telling eerie tales; I love scenarios like that — Are You Afraid of the Dark remains one of my favorite tv shows — and I’m disappointed this book just went straight into the stories.]

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #24: The Baby-Sitter II by R.L. Stine

The Baby-Sitter II by R. L. Stine
The Baby-Sitter II by R. L. Stine

Title: The Baby-sitter II by R.L. Stine

Summary: Jenny’s last baby-sitting job nearly killed her – literally. But she’s getting over it and she’s even taken a new baby-sitting job.

Then the phone calls start again – and when she answers she hears a familiar voice. It’s a voice from the past, a voice from beyond the grave…

“Hi Babes, I’m back,” he says.

Is it Mr Hagen, returned from the dead to wreak a hideous revenge? Or has Jenny got a new and more deadly enemy?

Tagline: Knock, Knock, Who’s there? … Don’t ask.

[Wing: Oh, good, weird capitalization and unnecessary punctuation. We’re off to a great start.]

The Baby-Sitter II by R L Stine - Scan by Mimi
The Baby-Sitter II by R L Stine – Scan by Mimi

Note: As Dove requested, I’ve updated my template, because we now apparently call the Bad Guys Muffin Man. Hey, it makes as much sense as most Point Horrors.

Initial Thoughts:

Never read this before, absolutely not looking forward to it after the shitshow that was THE BABY-SITTER. Here. We. Go.

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #23: The Train by Diane Hoh

The Train by Diane Hoh
The Train by Diane Hoh

Title: The Train by Diane Hoh

Summary: Hannah and her friends are on a train trip that begins as a fun cross-country tour – until they learn that Frog’s coffin is on board with them.

His real name was Roger, but he was nicknamed Frog by his classmates, who taunted and ridiculed him.

One by one, Hannah’s friends guiltily confess the nasty things they did to Frog. And then, one by one, they are viciously attacked.

It seems Frog is out for revenge. But Frog’s dead – isn’t he?

Tagline: A one-way ticket… to terror.

Notes: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. I will now refer to the bad guy as “Muffin Man” because of The Mall. [Wing: And of course Dove tries to inflict “Muffin Man” on our guest snarkers.]

A quick introduction by Dove:

Hi all, Dove here, hijacking Dade’s post.  Since Wing and I were tied up with other stuff, we put out the feelers to see if anyone else wanted to recap in the interim.  Dade, who you’ve probably already met under a different name in the comments here, was the first to reply.  So, from Wing and myself, thank you for doing this for the site.

[Wing: Thanks so much, Dade! You did an excellent job on a book that overall bored me.]

Initial Thoughts:

Diane Hoh’s my favourite Point Horror author. She doesn’t try to be trendy. She writes solid mystery thrillers that just happen to be about teenagers. (Unlike D.E. Athkins/Nola Thacker, who was cringeworthy, and ironically ghost-wrote some of Hoh’s Nightmare Hall entries). [Wing: That’s news to me. Interesting.]

I was about 12 when I first read The Train. I liked it, but I can remember writing my own fan-fic sequel in which I killed off all the survivors, because I didn’t like them very much. (My first recap and I’m already confessing dark secrets about my juvenile fiction writing career). [Wing: We embrace fanfic around here.]

Time to regress to my 12-year-old self (unfortunately not hard) to see why I felt this way.

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #22: Defriended by Ruth Baron

Defriended by Ruth Baron
Defriended by Ruth Baron

Title: Defriended by Ruth Baron

Summary: Jason has met the perfect girl. She loves indie rock, plays the guitar, quotes cheesey 80s films, and hates people who compare every book to The Great Gatsby. There’s just one small problem. Although Jason and Lacey spend hours chatting online, she refuses to meet up in person. Suspicious, Jason starts Googling, and his cyberstalking leads to a shocking discovery: According to multiple newspapers, Lacey died a year earlier. Soon, Jason finds himself caught in a disturbing mystery. Has he found a way to Facebook message the dead? Or is someone playing a dangerous trick on him? Either way, Jason has to uncover the truth before it’s time for him to meet Lacey in the afterlife.

Tagline: LACEY has changed her status to deceased

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. I never did mention the bad guy. So no Bad Guy or Muffin Man.

Initial Thoughts:

Catfish.

CATFISH.

CAT FUCKING FISH*.

* may contain hipsters.

I told Wing I absolutely was NOT going to recap Fatal Secrets until EVERY SINGLE POINT HORROR IN THE ENTIRE WORLD had been done and I was all out of other options, I thought Defriended would be the easy option.

Insert hollow laugh.

[Wing: This is what happens when you try to avoid your nemesis.]

[Dove: Yes, I have learned from this experience.] (more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #21: Beach Party by R.L. Stine

Beach Party by R. L. Stine
Beach Party by R. L. Stine

Title: BEACH PARTY by R.L. Stine (Not to be confused with BEACH HOUSE, which we already recapped. Unfortunately.) [Dove: What do you mean “unfortunately”? It was better than this. It had time travel. Nothing beats time travel. Especially this.]

[Wing: This had better characters. Mostly. Also, what part of FEUDING WITH STINE means I’m supposed to be happy to recap ANY of his books. Ha!]

Summary: It’s the ultimate beach party in California. And Karen, who’s just broken up with her boyfriend, is going to enjoy every minute of it – especially having two new guys who like her. But the party takes a nasty turn when Karen realizes someone is out to spoil the fun by getting rid of her.

Tagline: Some come to party. Some come to die.

Note: As Dove requested, I’ve updated my template, because we now apparently call the Bad Guys Muffin Man. Hey, it makes as much sense as most Point Horrors. (Note from the future: Never had to refer to the bad guy, so no Muffin Man.)

Initial Thoughts:

Don’t think I’ve read this one before, but I started a recap awhile back, and now can’t access where it is saved and must start over. So it’s sort of like I’ve read it before, in that I’ve put up with this shit before, damn it, and I want to be done.

[Dove: I thought I hadn’t read this, but I have. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now. So I’m consistent.]

[Wing: Unlike Point Horrors.]

Had this thought the other day and need to share: I don’t actually hate R.L. Stine. I’m a big fan of how he helped popularize middle grade and young adult horror before YA was really a huge book category. I’ve heard him on podcasts, and he’s smart and funny and delightful. I even enjoy some of his books.

Just not the books we’ve recapped so far. Damn.

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #19: The Witness by R.L. Stine

The Witness by R. L. Stine
The Witness by R. L. Stine

Title: The Witness

Summary: This summer’s going to be a real killer…

Sand, surf sun… Roxie lives for the summer But this year things aren’t going the way she planned.

Because when she broke into Lee Blume’s house just to win a stupid bet, she saw something she shouldn’t have seen. And now she the only witness to something she can’t forget.

But someone’s looking for Roxie. Someone who wants to spoil her summer. Someone who wants her… dead.

Tagline: I know what you did…

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. Also doesn’t mean it’s ever successful at killing/pranking/whatevering.

Initial Thoughts:

I don’t think I read this when I was younger. I don’t remember it. I do remember reading it a few months ago, back when I first embraced this Stine feud. It is a terrible, terrible book. Terrible.

[Dove: I had also never read this before. And my life was better for it.]

[Wing: I know. I’m so sorry.]

[Edited 2 May 2017: Teen Creeps did a podcast episode on this book, which was also published under the title “I Saw You That Night”.]

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #18: April Fools by Richie Tankersley Cusick

April Fools by Richie Tankersley Cusick
April Fools by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Title: April Fools by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Summary: It’s April Fools’ Day. Frank thinks he’s king of the fools. So when he and his friends get cut up by a hotshot driver, it’s fair game. But things start to go wrong. Someone saw what happened that night, and wants to join in the fun. But April Fools’ Day is over and these jokes are for real.

[Note from reality: They do not get “cut up by a hotshot driver”, Frank thinks it’s funny to run someone off the road because the honked. That’s it.]

[Wing: Is this a Brit versus American thing? Because I’ve never heard the phrase “cut up” used in this context in my life. “Cut off” is what I immediately thought it should be, but that’s not really what happened either, once I read it.]

Tagline: It’s no joke… it’s murder

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. Or, for that matter, that they’re “bad”.

Initial Thoughts:

Given the front cover, I always mix this up with The Doll, which is a short story in one of the Thirteen anthologies. I love The Doll. This? This I do not love. I know I hate the male character in here so much that flames… Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths… Heathing… [Depressing side note: there’s talk of rebooting Clue.]

[Wing: Oh, come on. It could be awesome. They could diversify the hell out of that cast.]

April Fools Wordle -- with... more punctuation abuse!
April Fools Wordle — with… more punctuation abuse!

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #17: Teacher’s Pet by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Teacher's Pet by Richie Tankersley Cusick
Teacher’s Pet by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Title: Teacher’s Pet

Summary: Kate likes a little thrill. She likes a little scare. And she loves getting the chance to go to the exclusive week-long writing conference taught by the famous master of horror himself. He’s so good at being so bad.

With a teacher like that, you expect a little competition. With a teacher like that, you practically have to kill to get his attention.

Does Kate have what it takes to be teacher’s pet?

Tagline: Look at what the cat dragged in…

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy.

SUPER SPECIAL NOTE: Gemma requested this, so Gemma, this is for you. And I will hold you personally responsible if this is not awesome, ok? (Just kidding, it’s Cusick, there’s no hope of it being awesome.)

[Wing: GEMMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.]

[Dove: Wing, don’t shout at our only commenter. We love Gemma. We just really hate this book.]

Initial Thoughts:

I know I have read this book. I know I did not enjoy this book. I couldn’t tell you what happened in it. Except there’s a cat. And at one point they think the cat is carrying a hand. Other than that? No clue.

[Wing: I’ve never read this book. My life was better from not reading it, clearly.]

Punctuation Abuse

Note: I’ve just realised that I bounce between “ellipses” and “ellipsis” in reference to DotDotDots in this blog. The second is correct. I’m just bad at typing, and because the first is a word, it’s not flagged as an error when I spell check. I’m trying to correct them as I see them, but there will be errors, I guarantee it.

Ellipsis used: 666
EnDashes used: 624

Because… everything – and I do mean everything – needs EnDashes and DotDotDots
Because… everything – and I do mean everything – needs EnDashes and DotDotDots

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #15: The Diary by Sinclair Smith

The Diary by Sinclair Smith
The Diary by Sinclair Smith

Title: The Diary by Sinclair Smith

Summary: Was she going to die… again?

Delia can’t stop reading the old diary which mysteriously appears in her locker one day. Little by little, she starts to become more like the girl whose words she reads – even having her memories and seeing the world through her eyes. A dead girl’s eyes. Soon Delia is convinced that she was the girl who wrote the diary – in a past life.

But the terror is about to come alive once more. For the girl who wrote the diary was murdered. And the killer is after her again…

Tagline: A dead girl’s diary … in her own handwriting.

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. Also doesn’t mean it’s ever successful at killing/pranking/whatevering.

Initial Thoughts:

I don’t remember reading this at all when I was younger, so odds are I didn’t. Oh joy. I always have so much fun when I read one for the first time to recap it. /sarcasm

(more…)

Posted in Other Recaps

Recap #13: Weekend by Christopher Pike

Weekend by Christopher Pike
Weekend by Christopher Pike

Title: Weekend by Christopher Pike

Summary: The weekend in Mexico sounded like a dream vacation. Four guys, five girls–and a gorgeous ocean-side mansion all to themselves. It should have been perfect.

Except nothing was going the way they’d planned. There was the girl upstairs who was fighting for her life. The phone lines that went dead. And the explosion in the garage that could have killed them all.

But not even that prepared them for what happened next. Because while they were getting some sun, someone else was getting revenge–and the terror wouldn’t stop until the weekend was over.

Tagline: A weekend of sun and fun in Acapulco turns into a nightmare when nine teenagers trapped in a mansion realize that they have been lured there for a deadly reason.

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. Also doesn’t mean it’s ever successful at killing/pranking/whatevering.

Initial Thoughts:

I remember really enjoying this book when I was younger, despite the weird metaphorical story that threads through it. We’ll see how it stands up.

[Dove: I read the first chapter dozens of times in my teenage years, I never got any further than that. Then Wing forced me.]

[Wing: Considering you forced me to read Room 13, we are nowhere near even.]

[Wing: Updated 29 Jan 2017: One of our readers recently introduced us to the Teen Creeps podcast, which also recaps teen genre books. Where applicable, I will link their episodes from our recaps so you have another viewpoint on the books. We are not affiliated with their podcast. Teen Creeps does Weekend.]

(more…)

Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #9: The Lifeguard by Richie Tankersley Cusick

The Lifeguard by Richie Tankersley Cusick
The Lifeguard by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Title: The Lifeguard by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Summary: Kelsey’s summer should have been paradise: An invitation to rich and famous Beverly Island, complete with sun-drenched beaches and three gorgeous lifeguards on duty. But Kelsey’s summer is the opposite of paradise. It starts with the note under her pillow from a girl who’s missing. Then there’s the crazy man in the lighthouse who won’t leave Kelsey alone. And there have been a number of suspicious drownings… At least she has the lifeguards around to protect her… Poor Kelsey. Someone forgot to tell her that lifeguards don’t always like to save lives.

Tagline: Don’t call for help… he may just kill you.

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. I will refer to the Bad Guy throughout as “Justin” because it’s fucking obvious it’s Justin. It’s never been so fucking obvious ever before. Seriously, the Bad Guy is fucking Justin and I’m on page five. It’s fucking Justin, ok?

[Wing: WUT? NO! How dare you spoil it for me! I really thought it was Isaac Skip Neale Kelsey’s dead dad come back to take vengeance.]

Initial Thoughts:

Right, so I must have read this at some point because it’s in the box that came from my mother’s house. Also, it’s stamped with “Property of Sackville School” on the sides, which means it came from my home town. (No, I didn’t steal it… wait, I’m the evil twin, I totally stole it from a very posh public* school.) I have no recollection of ever reading this. Ever. So let’s just say I hate the cover and that’s all I’ve got.

*I’m English, so if you’re American, I mean private. Either way, a posh, pay-for-your-education-and-associate-with-toffs school.

Recap:

First things first, since it’s Cusick, the punctuation will be abused so here, have some stats:

Ellipses used: 691

En Dashes used: 764

Appropriate usage of the above: less than 10%

Yeah. This pisses me off on an epic scale. And not just because I had to format the fucking thing for my Kindle. Why can’t we use commas, semi-colons and full stops? Why… is it… always… ellipses – well, except for when – to be dramatic – we start – needlessly – using – wait for it – en dashes. *sigh*

To illustrate just how often they showed up, I created a worldle.

The Lifeguard - Wordle
Yes, she uses these more than the protagonist’s name

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Posted in Nightmares Recaps

Recap #6: Class Trip by Bebe Faas Rice

Class Trip by Bebe Faas Rice
Class Trip by Bebe Faas Rice

Title: Class Trip by Bebe Faas Rice

Summary: There were seven of us when we started out. Someone – I think it was James – said that seven was a magic number. That magicians – real magicians like Merlin, the wizard, not the ones who pull rabbits out of hats – had always believed it was a powerful number. One that protected from harm.

Hah. Some magic.

But then, we didn’t stay seven long. One by one the group grew smaller. And finally there were only two of us left.

Two is not a magical number. When one of the two is a murderer.

In loving memory of Miss Anne C. Wilson, principal of Garfield Elementary School, Ottumnwa, Iowa, who always told me I would be a writer of books someday.

Tagline: Alone with a friend – or a killer?

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. Also doesn’t mean it’s ever successful at killing/pranking/whatevering.

Memories:

I have never read this one before, which is actually really weird. I am a completest, and I have read (and enjoyed) Class Trip II numerous times. Yet, despite Class Trip II clearly being a sequel to something, I never, ever went in search of the original. The fact that I read the sequel before tracking down the original is strange enough, but the fact that I never even tried to find the first book, never even thought about it, that is really, really weird. (I don’t know who I am anymore!) Dramatic hyphenation and choppy sentences aside, I love the premise of this book already (And Then There Were None is one of my favorite Agatha Christie books), and since I did enjoy Class Trip II, I’m hoping this lives up to my expectations.

(Note from the future: NOPE.)

Let’s do this!

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Posted in Point Horror Recaps

Recap #2: Perfume by Caroline B. Cooney

The Perfume by Caroline B. Cooney
The Perfume by Caroline B. Cooney

Though Caroline B. Cooney did write some of my favorite Point Horrors of all time (The Cheerleader | The Return of the Vampire | The Vampire’s Promise), I’ve never read The Perfume. Since our names + evil twins come from this book, it was fitting that it would be my first recap.

Title: The Perfume by Caroline B. Cooney

Summary: Dove doesn’t want to buy the perfume. The sound of its name fills her with fear and its fragrance wraps itself around her heart. But somehow she can’t help herself. It’s almost as if something – or someone – inside her is forcing her to try it.

And when Dove puts on the perfume, she unleashes a part of herself that has been locked away all her life… the second self she never knew existed.

And it’s evil

Tagline: The sweet smell…of EVIL.

Note: I will use “Bad Guy” throughout my reviews to refer to the anonymous killer/prankster/whatever. Doesn’t mean it’s a guy. Also doesn’t mean it’s ever successful at killing/pranking/whatevering.

Memories: I have no memories of this book. However, I love the use (or abuse) of ellipses, and the heavy emphasis on evil. (Literal emphasis, I mean. There’s very little actual evil.) Because I am the evil twin.

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