Wing recaps Skinwalkers (2006) and THEY’RE WEREWOLVES NOT SKINWALKERS WTF. Also: plot holes, unsurprising plot twists, great bat comments, and Wing goes off on a sexualized female werewolf tanget.
Happy Friday the 13th! And full Harvest Moon in my time zone. To celebrate, we’re going to do a quick rewind to all the recaps our beloved Virgin has done as she makes her way through the series for the first time. Friday the 13th: Damn it, I bet on the wrong horse! OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
JC of Oh God Why?! Nostalgia recaps Child’s Play 3, wherein Chucky wears lipstick, Andy gets a haircut, and the grand finale takes place in an improbably detailed wild mouse coaster.
JC of Oh God Why?! Nostalgia recaps Death Machine (1994), wherein Brad Dourif is the best thing in it. And there’s a killer robot. And we’re still not 100% on the lead character’s tragic backstory.
Dove recaps Necromentia (2009) wherein: demons are dicks, humans don’t decompose, lawyers can’t be trusted, singing pigs are massively dodgy, and I hope JC is still talking to me.
Title: Teen Wolf Too (1987) Summary: Todd Howard is a Hamilton University freshman with a full athletic scholarship: only Todd has no idea why, since he’s far more interested in veterinary medicine than sports. But his boxing coach, Bobby Finstock, is very familiar with the Howard family secret and he’s hoping he can use OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Dove recaps Child’s Play 2 (1990) (and JC from Oh God Why?! Nostalgia weighs in), wherein Chucky is even more vicious, Andy is a much better actor, and the adults are useless, but that’s ok, we’ve got Kyle, the coolest female in any horror movie ever.
And now for something special! JC of Oh God Why?! Nostalgia and Dove are recapping the entire Child’s Play series together! Here JC recaps the first installment for your reading pleasure!
Title: Cursed (2005) Summary: A werewolf loose in Los Angeles changes the lives of three young adults who, after being mauled by the beast, learn that the only way to break the curse put upon them is to kill the one who started it all! [Wing: There is so much wrong with this summary.] [bat: It OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Title: Mr. Boogedy (1986) Summary: The Davis family, who have recently moved to Lucifer Falls, realize that not all is as it seems in their new home. In fact, they are haunted by none other than Mr Boogedy! Notes: For those who remember this but can’t find a copy, it’s on YouTube or can be OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Title: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) (theatrically: Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI) Summary: The writers pretend the events of the previous film (or two) were some sort of fever dream and decide that Tommy Jarvis (now version 3.0!) should inadvertently help resurrect our dead anti-hero, Jason Voorhees. Jason is really OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Dove recaps The Hole (2001) wherein everyone over the age of eighteen is absolutely incapable of rational thought, and those under that age are terrifying.
Title: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1985) (aka Part V) Summary: Still haunted by his past, Tommy Jarvis – who, as a child, killed Jason Voorhees – wonders if the serial killer is connected to a series of brutal murders occurring in and around the secluded halfway house where he now lives. Tagline: The mindless, murderous OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Title: Jurassic Park (1993) Summary: Genetically engineered dinosaurs run amok at a tycoon’s island amusement park. Tagline: An adventure 65 million years in the making Initial Thoughts TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO I GOT THE GREATEST GIFT: JURASSIC PARK. Of all the things I’ve recapped that I love, this may be the one I love most. Yes, even more OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Title: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) (aka Part IV) Summary: After being mortally wounded and taken to the morgue, murderer Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives and embarks on a killing spree as he makes his way back to his home at Camp Crystal Lake. Tagline: Jason’s Back, and this is the one you’ve been OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Title: Friday the 13th Part III-3D (Out of eleventy-billion, am I right?) [Wing: Pretty much.] Summary: A carefree summer becomes a deadly nightmare for another group of naïve counselors who choose to ignore Camp Crystal Lake’s gruesome legacy. They find themselves in a bloody game of cat-and-mouse with the maniacal Jason who stalks their every move… OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Title: Teen Wolf (1985) Summary: What’s a high school kid got to do to be popular? Just let down his hair and howl! Starring Michael J. Fox, Teen Wolf is an outrageous comedy about a shy teenager with more than a changing voice to contend with… he’s a budding young werewolf! And when his new-found OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Dove recaps her most beloved horror movie, A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). It’s a love fest. From beginning to end.
Title: The Howling Summary: After a bizarre and near fatal encounter with a serial killer, a television newswoman is sent to a remote mountain resort whose residents may not be what they seem. Tagline: Imagine your worst fear a reality. [Wing: Worst fear. Right.] [Bat: Being a werewolf isn’t my worst fear…] Initial Thoughts This OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »
Title: Friday the 13th Part 2 (I guess we’re not into Roman numerals yet?) [Wing: Well, the cover image I have is into Roman numerals, but there are a bunch out there without it.] Summary: Get ready for twice the terror with Friday the 13th Part 2: Deluxe Edition! Fives years after the massacre at Camp OMG! What happens next??? Read on… »