Title: Black Orchid #14 – “Glamour’s End” a.k.a. “Annis Get Your Gun!”
Writer: Dick Foreman
Penciller: Rebecca Guay
Inker: Stan Woch
Colorist: Digital Chameleon
Letterer: Clem Robbins
Editor: Lou Stathis
Assistant Editor: Alex Alonso
Cover Artist: Dave McKean
Summary: In England, Black Orchid encounters a formidable foe who ensares her with a powerful “glamour” spell.
So it feels like I’ve been on creative burnout for I don’t know how long and I’m freaking sick of it. It took me forever to finish a couple of other non-Point Horror related projects, and with this ear infection thing I’ve been dealing with I haven’t had any energy to do anything. I think I’m having a depressive episode and have to get in touch with my therapist.
I’m starting to believe my problem is I’m still expecting too much of myself with this website and am forcing obligation on myself to have stuff prepared for holidays and shit, even if I don’t have the energy or particularly care about a certain book.
That out of the way, I found it’s been easier to focus on minor stuff so I’m doing a recap of one of my favorite issues from one of my favorite titles about one of my favorite heroines.
Title: Nightmare Hall 16: Book of Horrors by Diane Hoh
Summary: Horror book author Victoria McCoy, the new Salem writer-in-residence, knows how to make horror come to life. So Reed is thrilled when McCoy hires her as her new assistant…until she finds out that McCoy’s previous assistants have all disappeared.
Then frightening things start happening to Reed…things straight out of McCoy’s famous horror books.
And McCoy’s next tale of terror has an ending worse than Reed’s worst nightmares.
Apparently Kindle Unlimited doesn’t have #15 Truth or Die, so we’re going to skip straight on to Book of Horrors. I know nothing about this book. I don’t think I’ve read it before, and if I have, I don’t remember a goddamn thing about it.
Randomly, I’m playing 5 Seconds of Summer “Teeth” on repeat while writing this. Not because it has anything to do with the story, I have no idea at this point, but because I sometimes obsess over a song and listen to it for hours, days, weeks at a time. My brain is so much fun. Honestly, this is one of the least terrible things it does to me.
Tagline: Get a load of Chucky/Fear the second coming/Deliver us some evil (I could have sworn it was “The family that slays together stays together,” but apparently I’m imagining that.) [Dove: Nope. That’s the tagline I remember too.] [JC: Maybe it was in promotional stuff, but never made it to official tagline status, then?]
Description: Gentle Glen (Billy Boyd) is a ventriloquist’s dummy, the offspring of evil doll Chucky (Brad Dourif) and his doll bride (Jennifer Tilly), both of whom are now deceased. When the orphaned Glen hears that a film is being made about his parents, he goes to Hollywood and resurrects them in an attempt to get to know them better. He is horrified when Chucky and his lover embark on a new killing spree, and Chucky is equally horrified that his son has no taste for evil.
You know, before I rewatched this for this recap, I thought my biggest problem was going to be the fear of misgendering Glen/Glenda the doll. Then I rewatched it, and realized I was going to have to recap a scene with a turkey baster full of cum. We recappers lead charmed lives. [Dove: JC texted me that phrase about sixteen times during her recap session.]
So, this movie has a 4.8/10 on IMDb and a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. Interestingly, Child’s Play 3 has a 5.1 on IMDb but a 29% Rotten Tomatoes. Which means that there are people who think this movie is better than Child’s Play 3. I don’t know how that’s possible, but there we have it. (Brad Dourif himself dislikes 3 the most, but now I’m wondering if that quote was from before this movie was made. Because holy shit, dude. Holy shit.) [Dove: Or possibly he was made aware of the tenuous connection I mentioned to the murder of James Bulger? I know it didn’t make major news in the US, but apparently Michael Jackson heard about it and contact the family, so perhaps Dourif was made aware as the lead in the movie in question? If so, that could explain how an average movie is more disliked than a genuinely terrible one.]
Okay, so I said in an earlier recap that I have some affection for this movie, which stems from it being the only Chucky movie I’ve ever seen on the big screen. I’m now thinking of the missed opportunity I had to see the original Child’s Play a few years ago, and getting more and more annoyed about it. Seed doesn’t deserve to have the distinction of being the only Chucky movie I’ve experienced in the movie theater! It’s not fair!
Let me explain. Several years ago, I was online dating. I started talking to a guy we’ll call Major Tom. Now, I liked to (and still do) ask people what their favorite bad movie is as a conversation starter. When I asked Major Tom this question, he hemmed and hawed a bit, at least as much as you can over email, then finally named Child’s Play. Okay, I thought that answer was a little strange since the general consensus on the first movie at least is that it’s pretty good. But whatever; we hadn’t even met yet, and I didn’t see the point in arguing. Cut to us deciding to meet, and trying to decide on an activity for our first meeting/date. It was October, which I basically treat as Halloween all month long, and the local second-run theater (that has since been torn down; there’s a Cracker Barrel there now) was showing Friday and Saturday late night showings of Child’s Play. Now, I would never normally suggest a movie as a first meeting, but this was fucking perfect! It’s Major Tom’s favorite “bad” movie; I would fucking love to get to see it on the big screen (since I was 7 when it was first released, that was never really an option before); let’s go! Right?
So, I text Major Tom and tell him, hey, you said you like Child’s Play, right? The Palace is showing it as their “midnight” movie (they would usually have a showing at 8 or 9 pm, then again at 10 or 11pm), what do you say we do that? And the text I got back was . . . weird. I don’t remember exactly what Major Tom said, but the impression was along the lines of “Um . . . okayyyyyyy . . . why are you suggesting this?” along with a strange emoticon I neither remember nor can describe. (Helpful, I know.) So, confused, I ask him what this reaction is all about, and he responds that, well, when I’d asked about bad movies, he’d thought that was a bad movie. Still confused, I replied that no, I’d asked what his favorite bad movie was and that was what he’d said. FAVORITE. Anyway, he started backpedaling and saying well, it had been a long time since he’d seen it, he didn’t remember it, and we could still go if I wanted to. But since watching something I love with someone who’s hating every minute of it is a thing that makes me horribly uncomfortable and miserable, I declined. We ended up eating sushi and playing pool instead. And then dating for three of the most miserable months of my life. But that trainwreck is another story.
Anyway, that’s how this trainwreck remains to this day the only Chucky movie I’ve caught on the big screen. I’m sure it’s probably someone’s favorite bad movie, but that person is not me.
[Dove: Asking that question also led you to watching Necromentia. This question, while interesting and engaging, is bringing you nothing but bad things.] [JC: I wish I had a brilliant, glowing example to counter this, but the best I’ve got is Shakma – a “killer baboon runs amok in Roddy McDowall’s laboratory while Tina from A Nightmare on Elm Street and her friends have a LARPing game session in this building for some fucking reason” movie. It was recommended to me through that question, and all in all was quite a bit of fun.] [Dove: I can’t remember what the movie was called, but there was a movie on LoveFilm (remember them?) that had a summary along the lines of “Suzy is sick of her abusive father. She comes home from work and he beats her up and steals her money. He storms out and comes back with a BENGAL TIGER. Now she’s home alone, during a storm, with A TIGER.” And Raven and I were just like, “wow”.]
Summary: Chucky hooks up with another murderous doll, the bridal gown-clad Tiffany, for a Route 66 murder spree with their unwitting hosts, two eloping high-school graduates.
I actually loved this when it came out. I jumped so hard on the bandwagon of horror movies being witty as well as creepy. The Scream trend was something I appreciated. Of course, witty is subjective, and more often than not it ended up being a lot of irritating people saying a lot of dumb shit that the writers thought was funny, but for me Bride worked. [JC: I had the Fangoria issue with this movie on the cover. I was hyped for this movie . . . and then didn’t end up seeing it until it came to video. For some reason. Anyway, I absolutely loved it when I finally did end up seeing it. And since my thing seems to be providing the critic scores (except I think I forgot to add them into either Child’s Play 2 or 3, oops), this movie has a 5.4/10 on IMDb, and 46% on Rotten Tomatoes. Which seems criminally low, btw.]
And I’ve adored Jennifer Tilly since the first time I saw Bound. And, this has fuck all to do with the recap, I think she seems like a cool person. Like, if you bumped into her somewhere, she’d be nice to talk to. Please don’t disabuse me of this notion if that’s not true. (Please do if she’s done something so awful I need to reconsider my stance because I will miss stuff. The only celeb I follow with any enthusiasm is Trey Parker.) [JC: As far as I can tell, she’s an absolutely adorable human being.] [Dove: Oh, thank goodness. Raven has a few friends who play poker professionally, and I keep hoping that they level up enough to meet her so they can tell me how awesome she is. So far no luck.]
Summary: A young girl has recurring nightmares about a castle and a woman who tries to kill her. She is sent to stay with relatives in the country for a change of scenery. En route she glimpses a mysterious but vaguely familiar castle surrounded by fog on the other side of the lake. What dark secrets does the castle possess and who was that woman in her nightmares?
I didn’t discuss this one with Wing ahead of time, but I haven’t done a manga recap in a while and this creator’s been a low-key interest for me for a couple of years.
Yoko Matsumoto’s a lesser known creator of horror manga to the point I do not believe any of her works have been officially distributed by English publishers. That’s sad, because she offers something different from the majority of Japanese horror creators I’ve come across. Matsumoto’s stories are rather deceptive for a horror writer. The art style is very shoujo and doesn’t utilize typically exaggerated horror imagery, things such as bulging eyes and grotesque body horror, like what can be found from creators Kanako Inuki, Junji Ito, or Kazuo Umezu.
From what I’ve read of Matsumoto, her stories rely on tragic/cruel irony, sometimes with no real explanation behind the cause of the horrific phenomena. Or maybe I haven’t read enough of her works to properly explain what she’s about.
This was the first tale I’d ever read by her, and it’s initially part of a collection called “Constellations That Sing Of Death.” However, several of the stories printed in her anthology collections have been put online as separate entries. The two translations online refer to this story by different titles.
I decided to do this spur-of-the-moment recap because in a couple of months I’ll be starting a Census job, and with that plus Yankee Stadium and my comic job I have no clue how much time I’ll have for writing. I’ve gotta do what I can while I have the time, space and energy.
Title: Goosebumps Glow & Tell Story Cards, a.k.a. “‘BUMPS IN DA HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!”
Author: R.L. Stine
Cover Artist: N/A
Tagline: Get Goosebumps At Pizza Hut
Summary: Collect All Three Sets!
Keep your friends spellbound! Read them the terrifying tales on every creepy card – even make up your own endings! Project scary shapes on any dark wall! Then play the Goosebumps Bone Yard Board Game!
One available every other week with the purchase of a kids’ Pack! Includes personal pan pizza and 16oz soft drink. Get your Glow & Tell cards while supplies last between April 28 and June 22.
SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY WING! I found this (near) complete set of Goosebumps memorabilia on eBay and thought it’d make an excellent gift recap for the site for Wing’s January birthday.
(Wing, there are mentions of spiders.)
I completely forgot about this but back in the 1990s, when Pizza Hut apparently still did those “Pizza Head Show” commercials (which I also forgot about) and gave away stuff like McDonald’s and Burger King, they partnered with Scholastic to do shit with Goosebumps. Actually they also partnered with Taco Bell, of all places, which are the giveaways I really remember. I think I did own the Goosebumps cup from Pizza Hut.
Wait does Burger King still do toys? Anyway, the Glow & Tell collection includes twelve bones with a short story printed on them and holes you can illuminate to cast scary shapes on the walls.
The stories are about Curly the Skeleton, the Abominable Snowman of Pasadena, and the Scarecrow from “The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight.” The stories are structured so you can come up with the endings.
I’m gonna structure this recap by quoting each of the twelve stories and providing my own ending plus space for Wing to provide her own endings too if they want.
The pieces are also designed to function as a make-shift board game, the “Goosebumps Bone Yard Board Game.”
[Wing: This is an adorable campaign. I’m delighted by it.]
Title: Goosebumps Series 2000 #20 – Be Afraid – Be Very Afraid! a.k.a. “YOU FINISH THE RECAP”
Author: R.L. Stine
Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus
Tagline: There’s a new beast on the block…
Summary: The dragon’s wings stretched… stretched like a ship’s sail unfurling… and cut through power lines over the side of the street. Electricity crackled and sparks flew as the lines came down.
I watched, frozen in terror, as the dragon turned its massive body toward my house. It pulled back its head in an angry roar of attack.
“It’s – it’s coming here!” I choked out. “It’s coming after us!”
It’s the beginning of the year and it’s wintertime, which means I’m stepping into the role of recapping another Goosebumps 2000 book thanks to my zeal for seasonal nostalgia.
This is one of the 2000 entries that’s been especially prominent in my thoughts since “Return to Ghost Camp” had a preview for it at its end. The title and summary don’t allude much to the actual plot besides the prominence of dragons, so I’ll explain it’s about a card game that seemingly comes to life as three kids play it. However, the story bizarrely gets rather… meta, near the end, and I can’t tell if Stine is mocking his own writing style or what.
Title: Choose Your Own Nightmare #1 – Night of the Werewolf, a.k.a. “The Wacky Witchy Werewolf War”
Author: Edward Packard
Illustrator: Bill Schmidt
Tagline: It’s a full moon… beware of howling beasts!
Summary: Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?
Your vacation at your cousins’ house is off to a creepy start. A body – with deep bite marks all over it – has just been found at the local pond.
Is there a werewolf in town?
Even though you’ve been warned to stay away, you and your cousins want to check out the crime scene. Things seem pretty normal. Until you hear branches crashing… and a throaty howl…
What happens next in this bone-chilling story? It all depends on the choices you make. How will your nightmare end? Only you can find out! And the best part is that you can keep reading and rereading, getting new chills and thrills – until not one but all of your worst nightmares have come true!
Give yourself goosebumps… choose your own NIGHTMARE…
It’s the first month of the first year of a new decade, and we’re now forced to admit the 1990s were officially thirty years ago. And I’ll be turning 30 next December…
[Wing: *raises eyebrow* You are the youngest of the regular recappers across Devil’s Elbow and Sweet Valley Online, and possibly all of the Nostalgic Bookshelf collection. Best watch where you step, youngin’.]
To start off the 2020s here at Point Horror, for this first year I want to make it a year of firsts. Each month will feature at least one #1 book from a 90s horror series. I’ll be making an attempt to look at the firsts of series I’ve already offered glimpses into, such as Bone Chillers and Ghosts of Fear Street, and touch on series I’ve never looked at on here such as Choose Your Own Nightmare, Doomsday Mall, P.C. Hawke, and Christopher Pike’s Spooksville. You guys’ll be lucky, because a few of these books I’ve never read until now so it’ll be a learning experience for everyone.
[Wing: I love this book, I love werewolves, I love January’s full moon (it’s my favourite full moon), and I love recapping, and January is my birthday month, so this is a wonderful combination of things. Roll on Wolf Moon.]
Title: Spinetinglers #16 – We Wish You A Scary Christmas, a.k.a. “I’ve Got Santa In My Basement”
Author: M.T. Coffin, a.k.a. George Edward Stanley
Cover Artist: ???
Tagline: Not A Creature Was Stirring…
Summary: It’s Every Kid’s Worst Nightmare!
There’s a rumor going around that Santa Claus will not be making his rounds this year… and worse yet, he may be gone forever! Santa Claus is missing… and no one knows where he is.
But somewhere, deep in a dark basement, a figure lies hidden, helplessly held prisoner by some strange people. And if you dare to try and set the prisoner free… beware! You may be spending your Christmas trapped in that same dark basement… with no New Year in sight.
You guys remember the Spinetinglers review I did for last Christmas, the magnificently underrated “Snow Day?” Well I’m following up with the OTHER holiday-related entry in this series. Unlike “Snow Day” this is explicitly about Christmas and it’s not as dark as “Snow Day.” But I know Wing always has some keen observations to make on Santa-related fiction so I’m wondering how she’ll feel about this one. [Wing: Huh, I’ve never felt like I have keen observations about Santa, but I’m well pleased by this compliment. Thank you! And as always, we’re celebrating specific holidays late around here, but that’s just how we roll.]
The drawing point for this novel for me would have to be the empathy the main characters have for their friend.
Title: Goosebumps #53 – Chicken Chicken, a.k.a. “The Clucking”
Author: R.L. Stine
Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus
Tagline: It’s a finger lickin’ nightmare!
Summary: Don’t Call Them Chicken Legs!
Everyone in Goshen Falls knows about weird Vanessa. She dresses all in black. Wears black lipstick. And puts spells on people. At least, that’s what they say.
Crystal and her brother, Cole, know you can’t believe everything you hear. But that was before they made Vanessa mad. Before she whispered that strange warning, “Chicken Chicken.”
Because now something really weird has happened. Crystal’s lips have turned as hard as a bird’s beak. And Cole has started growing ugly white feathers all over his body…
“Chicken Chicken” is notorious among fans as the absolute worst of the original 62 books, even more so than the “Monster Blood” books. Reading the book as a kid it wasn’t something I picked up on, given I probably sped through it and put it back with my other books. Re-reading it now I can see why this book is so reviled, though I personally think the worst book out of the entire franchise is “Revenge R Us.”
The problem with “Chicken Chicken” is its villain goes completely overboard in her punishment on the main characters to the point there’s nothing funny or endearing about it. She’s so borderline sadistic it just makes her awful, and it’s especially hard to stomach the treatment main character Crystal gets. What compounds this is Crystal doesn’t do anything wrong.
But don’t take it from me, here’s what Crystal has to say:
Tagline: Stories To Enjoy From October Through December
Summary: You’d Better Watch Out…
Sixteen gripping tales inspired by classical horror and urban legends twist holiday themes into chilling cautionary tales.
A mischievous snowman frames the children who built him for its mistakes. A haughty priest offers shelter to a hideous monster posing as an orphan. A father brings home a cursed Christmas tree resulting in a terrifying haunting experience for his family.
From October through December these stories of devils, spirits, murderers, monsters, and surprise twists will fascinate children and their parents.
I won’t say I do this often, but I’ve enjoyed perusing through the self-published YA horror selections offered through Amazon and have order a few digital and printed editions. I stumbled upon this book at some point last year and because the collection isn’t that long I decided to recap the tales for Point Horror. It sucks the summary spoils a couple but the illustrations are cool and some of the stories are a bit ingenious.
I’m looking forward to this more than I was to finish “Tales for the Midnight Hour.”
My original plan to cover the second half of this book was to have the recap finished during the summer, preferably August to go alongside “Escape from Vampire Park,” and yet again I was delayed. I’m trying to use November as a catch-up month to finish a few things before December so I can focus on more holiday related recaps.
Looking back I have to say I’m more fond of the stories in the book’s first half, and the only story in this section I favor is “Phobia.” Amusingly, the last tale sets up an ongoing theme Stamper reused for the next three collections featuring the same cast of campers even though the stories aren’t connected by anything else. [Wing: Okay, using the same cast is interesting. I look forward to seeing those stories if we can track down copies.]
Title: Nightmare Hall 14: The Initiation by Diane Hoh
Summary: Joining the Others, a group of outcasts whom she thinks are just lonely students like herself, Salem University freshman Molly Keene realizes that there is something very wrong about the group, but finds there is only one way to leave it.
I’m excited to pick up recapping Nightmare Hall, though I’m not nearly as informed about the history of the books, ghost writers, etc., as Dade was, alas. The Initiation is not one of the Nightmare Hall books I read growing up, and in retrospect, that’s a very good thing, because I hated it, thanks, good times.
Read on to see why, I guess. Or save yourself. Whichever you prefer. Insert evil cackle here.
Title: Graveyard School #28 – “The Spider Beside Her,” a.k.a. “The End”
Author: Tom B. Stone, a.k.a. Nola Thacker, a.k.a. D.E. Athkins
Cover Artist: Mark Nagata
Summary: Along Came A Spider…
And Sat Down Beside Her…
And They Became Friends?
What has eight legs
And spins webs of silk
And sucks up people
Like they were glasses of milk?
Ask Ari Spinner. She likes spiders. They don’t make her scream. They make her smile. She and the spider are best friends. And there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for a best friend.
In all seriousness Wing if you really are able to comment on this recap despite your arachnophobia it really means a lot to me. I was able to add two pictures, one of Ari throwing a spider and another, well…
I swear I’ll make it up to you.
[Wing: If this wasn’t my beloved Graveyard School, and the end of it at that, I doubt I’d even try to make it through this, but since it is, I’m giving it a try. I love this series, and I love Jude’s recaps, and I’m sad to say good-bye to this world.]
Here we are.
The last of the Graveyard School books. I’ve been recapping this series for two years and it’s finally come to an end. No more Park. No more Stacey. No more puke perfect Polly Hannah. No more Dr. Morthouse and Basement Bart. No more recollections about Ms. Stoker or the Skeleton on the Skateboard or the Ghost in the Boys’ Bathroom.
Title: Goosebumps Series 2000 #10 – Headless Halloween, a.k.a. “Brandon Did A Bad, Bad Thing”
Author: R.L. Stine
Cover Artist: Tim Jacobus
Tagline: Talk about getting ahead!
Summary: Frozen in silence, I squinted into the eerie, pale light. Hands popped up from beneath the ground. They shook off dirt and stretched. A dozen hands poked up, shimmering yellow and green in the moonlight.
And then heads. Human heads. Hair caked with dirt. Skin loose, hanging from their skulls. They stared at me with pleading eyes, faces twisted, mouths hanging open in pain.
“Take me with you,” one of them called in a dry whisper.
Wow it took me like two years to finally finish this recap I suck.
I started this some time in December 2017 before I figured out a routine for my Goosebumps recaps. I was still excited about recapping for Devil’s Elbow and this was one of the books I wanted to cover first as it’s one of my favorites. Admittedly it’s one of my favorites because that has to be one of the best covers Jacobus ever did for the franchise and I’m a sucker for Halloween stories.
So, you know how Stine has this uncanny ability to create protagonists who turn out to be exceedingly selfish and petty and they’re supposed to be the GOOD guys? Yeah, now imagine what happens when Stine creates a character who’s horrible on PURPOSE and you get our protagonist Brandon. However, because Brandon’s a dipshit it means the book is about him getting put through the wringer for being an unholy little fucker.
Stine also crafts a very suitable environment for Halloween and has one of my favorite settings in the entirety of the Goosebumps 2000 books.
Title: All Hallow’s Eve a.k.a. “Mighty Morphin’ Pumpkin Rangers”
Writer: Mitchell Perkins
Artist: John B. Lang
Letterer: Vickie Williams (R.I.P.)
Nesbitt’s Abbey towered over the tiny village of Wicklow, Ireland. Isolated, the abbey was occupied by a group of farming monks.
For years the villagers of Wicklow felt safe as they slumbered off to sleep — watching the monks’ late-night candles as they kept their nocturnal vigil over their precious books and scrolls.
Then, on a fog-shrouded night, something foul and nasty entered the abbey. One by one the old monks were driven from Nesbitt’s Abbey.
Now Nesbitt’s Abbey is haunted by Sam O’Hain and his evil hobgoblins. Will the evil goblins ever be driven from the old abbey?
John the McCormley children: Lauren, Trey, Ashley, and Rachel as they are told the story of the very first Jack O’lantern.
It’s a tale for…
All hallow’s eve.
Mainstream comics have been pretty awful lately. I still haven’t been able to reach my therapist to discuss how badly I reacted to DC’s “Heroes in Crisis” and Marvel’s currently a bunch of assholes for firing Chuck Wendig because he wasn’t “Civil” to those Comicsgate morons. So I felt like focusing on some obscure and independent stuff to try and take my mind off things.
The above was written last year when I started this draft and, honestly, things haven’t changed that much so I stand by my previous statements.
“All Hallow’s Eve” is another obscure gem I discovered back in the 2000s, created by Forest Light Productions through Innovation Comics. Innovation was a company that did a lot of interesting stuff like adaptations of Anne Rice’s books, the Child’s Play movies, comic tie-ins for Quantum Leap and Lost in Space, and they even did the phenomenal “Nightmares on Elm Street” miniseries. It was a six issue comic that bridged the gap between “The Dream Child” and “Freddy’s Dead.” That’s not even mentioning the gorgeous graphic novel they did of “Phantom of the Opera.”
When I purchased this, I had no idea what it was going to be about. I couldn’t find any information about the plot or any scans of the interior pages. Nothing! All I had to go on was the name and cover. This has a very 1980s animated movie vibe to it and offers a rather unique take on the jack o’lantern myth. It feels like the sort of thing Don Bluth would’ve worked on, of course I’m not an expert on his work.
I’ve tried to find out more about this graphic novel, but there’s virtually no information anywhere. I got in contact with former Innovation president, David Campiti, to see if he could direct me to the creative team. Unfortunately he said he lost touch with Mitchell Perkins and John Lang, and poor Vickie Williams died a few years ago. So once again it’s down to me to tell the world about stories like this, because God knows no one else will.
Summary: Vampirita, a series of novels about an astronaut vampire, has attracted a huge following at X – and none more so that Torrey and Terri. The next installment of the series will be released in a fortnight, and until then, fans can audition to star in the next book! Terri and Torrey start to build projects to win the auditions, but every time one is finished, it gets sabotaged. Naturally, the main suspects are two members of a rival novel’s fanclub – TQ, a mysterious and riddle-talking guy with an affinity for multicultural cuisine, and Trace, a girl who never seems to be happy with the color of her hair. But evidence points to neither… so just who could have enough knowledge about the projects to find the perfect way to sabotage them?
Now it’s time for a very special recap on Devil’s Elbow, featuring that cult classic Disney show “Fillmore!”
Airing in the early 2000s, “Fillmore!” was an animated series done in the style of 1970s crime and detective shows set within a middle school. Specifically it was set within X Middle School, one of the biggest middle schools in America. That’s not even hyperbole because X Middle School is fucking HUGE. It’s practically a city. To put this in perspective, they have clubs for everything including a field for bocce ball, a corn maze so large they had to send a rescue team to save some poor kid who came out screaming “IT ALL LOOKS THE SAME!!!!”, an expo center for science fairs, and a fucking JAI ALAI STADIUM. An entire stadium SOLELY for jai alai.
The main characters are Cornelius C. Fillmore (Orlando Brown) and Ingrid Third (Tara Strong). Fillmore was once the worst juvenile delinquent to ever attend X Middle School until he turned over a new leaf and joined the Safety Patrol. Ingrid, a goth girl with a photographic memory making her the smartest kid in school, was another former delinquent who transferred to X from a school in Nepal following a prank with a stink bomb and a pinata.
As partners in the Safety Patrol, Fillmore and Ingrid have gone around solving a number of bizarre crimes, including:
The destruction of an entire model train expo
The kidnapping of X Middle School’s beloved mascot, Lobsty the Lobster, during Spirit Week
A serial shredder going around destroying school projects with a handheld paper shredder
The tagging of a graffiti artist going by the handle “Stainless,” whose antics lead Fillmore and Ingrid to seek the aid of another tagger put in permanent detention ala Hannibal Lector for something unspeakable he drew with only a mini golf pencil
The theft of EVERY SINGLE BOOK in the school’s massive library
A group of students forming a vigilante squad to get revenge on the school’s bullies by traumatizing them for life
A counterfeit baseball card ring organized by a visiting Canadian diplomat’s son who has “Diplomatic immunity” and thus can’t be touched by the Safety Patrol
Threats made against the school’s star chess player, Checkmatey, who’s inexplicably a white gangsta kid who churns out cringeworthy raps
Every single crime in the series is treated with the same amount of ridiculous seriousness, the exact way shows like “Starsky & Hutch,” would handle them. It’s got chase sequences up the ying-yang, interrogations, and Fillmore and Ingrid getting chewed out by their superior officer, Chief Vallejo.
So yeah, the “X” probably stands for “Xtra” because everyone in this show is operating at 75 out of 10. The best is probably the school’s principal, Dawn S. Folsom, voiced by Wendie Malick giving a delightfully hammy performance. She spends most of her time either sweetly complimenting the Safety Patrol when she’s not threatening to have them all shipped to Kazakhstan, or she’ll turn their HQ into her own personal sauna. She’s such an egotist the school’s drama club did a musical about her life story. My favorite scene involves her ranting about making sure Checkmatey brings glory to the school while she’s vocally changing the settings on her massage chair.
“And then the void in our trophy case, and the VOID in my HEART, WILL BE FILLED! DEEP TISSUE!!!“
Unfortunately, she’s not in this episode.
No I picked this episode to review on Devil’s Elbow because the conflict involves sabotage being inflicted against members of a fan club for a book series about a vampire astronaut. The main suspects are members of a rival fan club for a different franchise. The episode offers a look into fandom wars, toxic fandoms, and what happens when creators stop giving a shit. [Wing: Well this should be interesting.]
As luck would have it, back when the show was still on Toon Disney (or Disney XD, at the time) they once did a marathon of all the episodes that hadn’t yet aired on this channel. I recorded all of them on a video tape I still own and still works. This episode’s the last one on the tape, so I’ve known about it for years.
Summary: A 12 year old boy and his mother become the targets of two warring werewolf packs, each with different intentions and motives. [Wing: Man, that is a boring summary, if truthful.] [bat: It’s pretty… lame.]
Tagline: For them to live, we must die. OR They hunt us. [Wing: The first one is better. Sort of. It’s still a lie, though. They don’t have to kill us, they simply choose to. Some of them, at least.]
I’ve watched this before, but not for many years, and I’ve forgotten pretty much everything that happens during it. I don’t even remember all the characters, so this will almost be a brand-new experience for me.
[bat: I’ve never seen this. I vaguely remember it being released; I have a weird penchant for knowing all kinds of things about films but never actually seeing them. But I don’t know if it was because I think of “skinwalkers” as being something different in the supernatural sense from werewolves, if that was the reason I passed on it, or if it was because it just didn’t sound good. Oh well, watching it now!]
And of course, this is my favourite time of year. Roll on Snark at the Moon 2019 and welcome to the Hunters’ Moon!
Another NYCC has passed us by, and this year makes it a decade since I began collecting artwork and commissions. I’ve been able to do yet another sketch post for all you saucy little ragamuffins, though this year I didn’t get any Goosebumps commissions. Shocking, I know. I did, however, get two (or three) of Wing’s favorite “Graveyard School” characters from two of my NYCC regulars.
Since this month will have the last Graveyard School recap, I was hoping to see Nola Thacker at the convention again. I initially thought Thacker was appearing at the con again, and hoped to ask her a few questions about Graveyard School to go alongside the final recap this month. Unfortunately, what I assumed was the website being glitchy turned out to be due to Thacker not speaking at any panels this year. I looked through every panel listing that was being held at the New York Public Library and her name didn’t appear in any of them. Nor was she mentioned in other panels. Frustrating and disappointing, but beyond my control.
The con weekend didn’t start off great for me. It was raining and miserable on Thursday, and just as I was getting off the subway at the Javits Center the strap on one of my bags broke. I’d packed too many comics and reference material so I couldn’t decide who I should visit first, and I got overwhelmed.
Friday and Sunday were much better, though. The weather was nicer, I found a new bag, and I was able to get some stuff out of the way for my job at the store while I did my con experience. I had a lot of fun getting to chat with Colleen Doran and Gail Simone. I kept going back to Gail’s table because I was constantly forgetting I had stuff to autograph. On Sunday I was finally able to give Gail these two comics I’d been wanting her to have for years.